Season-long Scavenger Hunt!

I can't think of a relevant picture to a scavenger hunt, so here's Don Cherry apparently telling a scary story.

Technically season previews are supposed to come before the beginning of the season, but I was waiting to find out who was the Captain. It’s too bad, as one of the things on my list already happened the first day of the season. I’d better get this posted before anything else comes true. For the record, Bob McKenzie's blog about the Ivanans fight doesn't count.

This is a game for all our readers to play during the season. There will be no prize except my respect, which is as famously difficult to earn as it is famously easy to buy. For the duration of the season, feel free to join me on a scavenger hunt of sorts. Compile a list, if you can, of links, videos, or screenshots of the following things.

Some of these are supposed to be hard to find, but some of them are ridiculously easy. I’ll have fun looking for all of them. If you find some good examples, send links to qrisjohnson@gmail.com and I may post updates with some of the best ones.

Writers hunt:

• Bob McKenzie beginning a blog with a few carefully-worded paragraphs trying to avoid seeming wussy before complaining about violence in hockey
• Derek Jory comparing hockey to something nonsensical in his loveable way
• Dwayne “Eklund” Klessel taking a moment to talk about the game of hockey (instead of just rumors) without quoting some named or unnamed source to remind everyone he’s connected
• Iain MacIntyre singing the praises of a Vancouver Canuck without qualification
• Damien Cox somehow finding a new low in his blind, ridiculous criticism of the Canucks
• An instance in which TSN could easily have made a stupid pun in a headline, but chose not to (if you find one, send it to the TSN web site and they may very well allow you to take over as web editor)

Articles in General hunt:

• A Vancouver-based article blaming Henrik for a loss and questioning whether his receiving the captaincy was a mistake
• A Vancouver-based article from the same source lauding Henrik Sedin’s exceptional leadership skills and praising the choice of making him Captain
• A demonstrable example of a mainstream blog or news article using a creative nickname or phrase first seen on Pass it to Bulis (i.e. wizardous sedinerie). This blog sets trends, make no mistake
• An article or blog predicting the Canucks to miss the playoffs
• An article or blog predicting the Maple Leafs will make the Eastern Conference Finals
• An article or blog predicting the Maple Leafs will make the Western Conference Finals
• An article turning the last name of a player into a verb somehow
• Speculation that Cory Schneider may steal the No. 1 job in Vancouver
• Mention of hockey in political article thanks to Sarah Palin

Video hunt:

• Alex Ovechkin getting rubbed the wrong way by some sort of criticism and being unable to hide it
• Keith Ballard speaking to, seeming to threaten or “accidentally” making contact with Roberto Luongo during a game
• Don Cherry accidentally pronouncing a name correctly, when he usually butchers it
• Video of Kesler or Bieksa making fun of a teammate’s personality where you can’t tell for sure if they’re kidding
• Glenn Beck comparing a hockey player to Hitler
• Mike Gillis talking about plans for the future without using the words “moving forward”
• An interview with Derek Boogaard that is evidence that he hasn’t been suffering post-concussion syndrome since before the lockout
• Pierre Maguire getting tripped up using the word “monster” to describe Jonas “the Monster” Gustavsson
• An interviewer baiting Jason Spezza with jokes in attempt to get more golden footage of his laugh
• James Duthie going an entire five minutes without making a painful joke (bonus points if it’s “The Quiz,” although this is technically impossible)

Forum hunt:

• Dwayne “Eklund” Klessel being seriously cited as a credible source
• Pass it to Bulis being seriously cited as a credible source
• A bona fide Panthers fan suggesting another trade with the Canucks
• A bona fide Leafs fan conceding they probably won’t make the playoffs
• A bona fide Blue Jackets fan
• A post insisting, after one solid game, that a Canucks player “needs a new nickname”
• Ironic misspelling of Don Cherry’s name
• Insistence that the Canucks should have drafted Wellwood
  

If Harrison or Skeeter have more they'd like to add, feel free. I'll be engaging in this hunt all season, and invite the entire internet to do the same.