The NHL All-Star Game could be a lot of fun, but the austere soul-searching it annually inspires seems as serious as death. Every year, pundits and demagogues come together during the dog days of hockey to opine about its vast problems and merits. They hem and they haw over its importance, it's entertainment value, and how to get fans and players to take it seriously.But it's never going to be taken seriously. Look to your left. Any game where that can happen is not a serious game. Despite being populated with NHL hockey players, it's not an NHL hockey game. It can't be, because guys get hurt playing NHL hockey games, and nobody wants to get hurt at this thing. As a result, everybody lightens up and, if we're being realistic, we're all okay with that. An injury during the All-Star game is as meaningless and preventable as an injury during a the tug of war at a church picnic.
People tell me it's a showcase for the NHL game, but it isn't because nobody can be convinced to play their heart out, and that's what every other game is for, anyway. The All-Star Game is a Star Trek convention. Yes, all your beloved characters are there, but nobody's fighting the Borg. If you're hoping for the intensity of the final frontier, you're badly mistaken or, in some cases, completely delusional. The NHL All-Star game is a sideshow.
I'm totally okay with that. Ignore the objections of the hockey Puritans who can't handle simple frivolity, and remember that sideshows can be a lot of fun. Why are we so insistent on players taking the All-Star game so seriously? As far as I'm concerned, everybody takes real hockey games too damn seriously. It's a game. Why can't the All-Star game be a moment of levity for all involved--a way to remind the fans and the professionals that, first and foremost, hockey is just a fun thing to do? Let the game be meaningless, and find a way to highlight fun and showcase the players having it.
So here's my proposition: let the NHL pick the 40 players that go to the All-Star game and announce the rosters a month in advance. Then let the fans vote on two team captains from among these guys. I don't care if they're both from the same team, either. Let it be any two guys. Then, let those players pick a charity to play for and put $500,000 dollars on the line (or some such other figure) if their team wins. Then, before the game, get all these guys onto the ice and let the team captains select their teammates the old-school way. Call a name, give him a jersey, let the other captain pick. Then let the teams play. Minimal preparation, minimal coaching, minimal austerity; just a fun game of pick-up hockey among the best hockey players in the world.
I'd watch that, wouldn't you? I'd definitely watch the guys pick one another. If Crosby and Ovechkin were voted team captains, and Ovechkin picked Malkin? If Henrik was voted team captain and he picked somebody else instead of Daniel? If Joe Thornton got picked last? Mic some guys up. Definitely mic up the draft. Let the players banter with one another, make bargains, argue over who picks first. Let players campaign to be named a team captain for the chance to support and promote their charity. Connect them with moviemaking fans who can make good viral videos. Do it all in the name of fun.
Yes, fun. Let it be fun.
I've always considered the game to be harmless fun, but I've had a hard time getting into the games of late with the roster selections in the last few years. Hardly the best the game has to offer.
ReplyDeleteThe roster selections might be something to revisit later on as well. I'd be more interested in seeing guys like Greg Wyshynski, Bruce Arthur, Steve Kouleas, etc. pick the games than the NHL brass. A panel of bloggers fighting for selections in a liveblog on Puck Daddy would be wicked.
ReplyDeleteIan says:
ReplyDeleteThat's a very good way of looking at it, philosophically speaking. I particularly like the idea of captains picking their team-mates.
However, let's avoid the awkwardness of picking someone last (or next to last, for that matter). Instead, have the captains pick their starting line-ups, then put the rest of the names in the hat for a draw.
And thanks, gentlemen for the erudite commentary and, of course, the Family Guy-esque links in the blog.
i like the rules-of-the-schoolyard angle. and then the ones picked last would have more incentive to 'get into it,' like samuelsson and the olympic snub
ReplyDelete@1st Anonymous: No way. Let them pick their WHOLE team. I want to see what player gets picked last. Like it's gonna hurt his feelings; he's at the All-Star Game.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you're welcome. We're glad you like what we do.
@2nd Anonymous That's right. You picked Brad Richards last? Now he's pissed.
Great Idea PItBul(I personally like the name) Now use that new found star power to get it discussed on After Hours again!
ReplyDeleteWOW! Is all I can say. That's the best idea for an all star game that I've ever heard. Charity money on the line and captains picking their own teams including goalies...Love it.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally the charity pot could be sweetened by auctioning off the game worn jerseys. Could even do a TV event where the 2 captains choose as it could take a while to pick out the 40 guys.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea. I think captains pick starting 5's tho and no picking someone from yr own team in the first 5 would make it interesting too....
ReplyDeleteThat defeats the whole purpose, Anonymous. The whole idea of the starting five in hockey makes no sense. Those guys are on the ice for forty-five seconds, then the lines start rolling and everything the starting five is rendered meaningless. Have you seen who Vigneault starts games with? It's very rarely his five best players.
ReplyDeleteCaptains have to pick the whole team. No rules regarding who they pick.
Apparently the GM's are considering making the change....
ReplyDeletehttp://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=340505
Yes, but they're giving all the credit to Brendan Shanahan. How bogus. As if he needs the exposure.
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw this today I figured they ripped off your idea...
ReplyDeletehttp://bleacherreport.com/articles/513638-nhl-all-star-captains-to-choose-players-in-2011-all-star-game-in-carolina
Naw, someone else (Brendan Shanahan) had the idea separate from me. Earlier, too.
ReplyDeleteI really really want to see twins mischief! I mean: separate them, and see them comboing for one goal each in his own net, exchanging jersey & so on... Can you imagine three teams on the ice at the same time: team Staal, team Lidstrom and team Sedins.... ;o) would be excellent!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this idea! Especially the schoolyard picking with all the guys miked! I can just hear it: Henrik has first pick and he doesn't pick Daniel and all the rest of the guys on the ice are going "ooooohhhh" just like a group of 12 year olds. And I bet the hockey players themselves would love it.
ReplyDeleteAnd playing for charities is always an excellent idea.
And this may be a horrible idea, but it would at least be horribly entertaining if the refs weren't actual NHL refs but were like coaches or something. I think that would be pretty hilarious seeing the coaches making really bad calls or clearly cheating in favor of their own teammates and stuff like that. It wouldn't be as professional.... but who really cares about professionalism anyways.
when it was first announce i thought shanny stole ur idea. i luv the idea but it doesnt have enough biznasty 2.0 an all-star game without him is a travesty. why the NHL didnt announce him as replacement is beyond me. that guy is a ratings machine. the TSN mock draft would only be a taste of what he brings
ReplyDeleteThe fix is in. I predict that, not only will the Sedin's be split up (as widely reported), but it has already been agreed between the two captains that they will be the last two to be selected. Imagine the final two being Hank and Daniel and the two captains flip a coin to decide who goes to which team. This is my prediction.
ReplyDeleteIt's the perfect solution and a great mood lightener. No one person gets picked last, sitting at 3 and 4 everyone knows they don't deserve to go last, leaving them to the end highlights the fact that they must play on different teams, and finally, a coin toss plays off the fact that there is little difference between identical twins with essentially identical stats.
You heard it here first!