More of Cody Hodgson's Dark Times, With Hilarious Submissions By Readers Not Unlike You

If you're new to Cody Hodgson's dark times, I recommend you go back and read the original post that led to this one. If, however, you're averse to doing research just to get a pretty lame joke, here's a short primer: in an intermission segment about Cody Hodgson's injury troubles, the narration included the hyperbolic statement "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson." Skeeter and I started riffing on the phrase and its potential responses. Soon, a PITB-only meme was born. Here are a few original examples:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: It was a good pass, too. Tape-to-tape. I had the whole net to shoot at.
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I cast magic missile at the darkness. It didn't work very well.

As you can see, the joke has myriad possibilities, and the Bulie response to this joke was maybe (read: definitely) funnier than the original post. After the jump, proof that we have awesome readers:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: That tanning bed was the worst prank Keith Ballard ever pulled on me, but now I'm okay.
  ---Qris Johnson

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I'm still getting used to indoor plumbing and microwave ovens.
  ---Aixtek

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I look back on my time as a scientologist not as something to learn from but something to never ever tell anyone about ever.
  ---Qris Johnson
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The dark times are beginning for Narrator...
  ---Van City slicker
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: My dark times were nothin' compared to Joan d'Arc times. Seriously, dude, talk to Glass about that. He majored in history.
  ---Anonymous

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: Yeah I realize now Wish You Were Here is a more solid album start to finish.
  ---Section 312

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Destroying the ring was tough, but it simply had to be done. I admit, I'll miss the power of invisibility...
  ---Captain Morgan

I'm kind of ashamed at how long it took for me to get that this was a Temple of Doom reference.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The evil start in Pankot. Then like monsoon, it moves darkness over all country.
  ---Michael

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: At first I was discouraged by the diagnosis, but the doctors assured me that if Michael Jackson could live with Vitiligo so could I.
  ---Jason

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: What can I say? All that was left from the turkey was white meat.
  ---Anonymous
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: Actually, the dark times just start later in Vancouver, what with time zones and all. I'm expecting them to return in say three hours-ish.
  ---Anonymous

I love the sudden aggression in this one.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I got your dark times right here.
  ---FanZone2010
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Groundhogs everywhere are predicting an early Spring.
  ---A Wellwood

I hate when this happens.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Oh thank God, I thought rehab would never end. *gets attacked by feral cats*
  ---Captain Morgan

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: You can read all my experiences in my upcoming memoir, Black Ice: How I Was Drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers.
  ---Michael

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: The power came back on.
  ---By-Tor

I'm assuming the old drama teacher was fired, with just cause.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Our new drama teacher isn't allowed to make us wear blackface.
  ---Qris Johnson

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Admittedly, it's weird to name a kidney stone, but I had grown rather attached to it.
  ---Jason

This one explains a lot.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: My injury addiction is behind me for good now.
  ---Ryan

This one needs explaining.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I must correct you, my friend. Believe me, it is still there, you just cannot see it as it is utterly transparent and ultimately, undetectable. It is, in fact a huge part of what makes up Cody Hodgson as well as everyone any everything around us
  ---ricardinho
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah I was real freaked out but Ballard says it's just a solar eclipse.
  ---beninvictoria

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson
  Hodgson: We just had to slingshot round that side of the moon to get enough momentum. Was pretty freaky being out of communication though.
  ---PeeCeeGee

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Yeah, Coach said that was just a practice jersey.
  ---beninvictoria

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: It took me until my second game, but I finally scored an NHL goal.
  ---By-Tor

Wherever there's a special moment for a young person, one man can be found.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: Well I real-
  Kanye: Yo Hodgson, Imma let chu finish but Donnie Darko had some of the darkest times of all time. OF ALL TIME!
  ---Reece

And finally, when you have a joke with such a tight structure, someone is going to defy every ounce of it. Here's JTam with the most elaborate entry ever.

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: The dark times were rough, but it had to be done. Remember our conversation two years ago?
  
  ________________________________________
  
  
  Narrator: The haters won. Luongo's Captaincy, everything he fought for - undone. Any chance you gave us at fixing our team dies with Luongo's reputation. We bet it all on him. The haters took the best of us and tore him down. People will lose hope.
  Hodgson: They won't. They must never know what he did.
  Narrator: 7 goals! You can't sweep that up!
  Hodgson: No. But the haters cannot win. Vancouver needs its true hero.
  Narrator: No!
  Hodgson: "You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." I can do those things because I'm not in the NHL, not like Luongo. I have a bad back! That's what I can be.
  Narrator: No, no! You can't, your back!
  Hodgson: I'm whatever Vancouver needs me to be. Call it in.
  Narrator: They'll hunt you.
  Hodgson: You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me, set the fans on me. Because that's what needs to happen. Because sometimes... our play isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded.
  Young Canucks Fan: Hodgson? Hodgson! Why is he running, Narrator?
  Narrator: Because we have to make ridiculous stories about him and his injury.
  Young Canucks Fan: He didn't do anything wrong.
  Narrator: Because he's the NHLer Vancouver deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Prospect.
  
  
  ________________________________________
  
  
  Narrator: So, uh, how's your back?
  Hodgson: Not cool.
  ---JTam
  

Well, that was fun. Feel free to keep this joke alive in the comments. We will gladly do another of these posts in the future.