The Awful Human Being Quiz Will Suss Out the Awful Human Beings

Most Canuck fans are good people. They just want to see their team win, and they're pretty used to that not happening. As a result, they're resigned, they're relaxed, and they have a tendency to keep their heads. Unfortunately, they are only the majority of Canucks fans, which means that, somewhere, there is a minority of insane, violent, awful human beings who happen to share a love for Vancouver's hockey team.

A word to this minority: we don't want you. You're bad. Go elsewhere.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: am I bad? Am I an awful human being? Perhaps. But we at PITB don't just want to leave you in the dark. We would like very much to help identify you. And then shun you.

With that in mind, we spent the weekend creating this very scientific quiz, which should help to evaluate how awful you are. It's only three questions long, so you should know if you're an awful human being within five minutes:

Phil Kessel Was Picked Last, Not Picked On

After much speculation about who would get picked last at the NHL All-Star Draft, Phil Kessel suffered the ignominy of being the final guy. For the concerned: he'll live. In fact, I thought the only embarrassing thing about Kessel's turn as Mr. Irrelevant was the way the NHL tried to pacify him. In an infuriating bit of babying, host James Duthie coaxed an ovation out of the audience, verbally consoled Kessel (who couldn't have cared less) and then gifted him $20,000 to a charity of his choice as well as a brand new 2011 Honda CR-Z.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, the hundreds of children picked last in schoolyards across the country that day were given nothing, save a wedgie and an insecurity complex. Come on. These are NHL players, not grade-schoolers. Picked last does not mean picked on, and this was a room full of grown men capable of making that distinction. By reaching to console Phil Kessel, the NHL turned a relatable moment into another instance of millionaire ego-stroking.

Winning is Not Losing

Any team can "trip up" another. Ha ha, puns.

I hate when the Canucks play teams at the bottom of the standings. No good can come of it. As Skeeter pointed out earlier in the season, good teams are supposed to win games against bottom-feeders. It's expected. The problem is, the act of meeting expectations is often met with a little but a slight shrug. No one commends you for doing a satisfactory job. In truth, the real story is exceeding expectations.

Narrow wins over bad teams, like the Canucks' shootout victory at Nassau Coliseum on Tuesday night, do not exceed expectations. In fact, when the Canucks barely get by a team they were expected to defeat, one could say they've barely met expectations. For fans and media who have lost perspective--spoiled as they are by Vancouver's run of stellar play--barely meeting expectations is equally as bad as failing to meet them. For some, a close win over a bad team is the D-minus of sports. It's shameful. The worst part of it all is when people suggest--as one Team 1040 host did yesterday--that it's as bad as losing.

Well, that's just silly.

Maybe the Blackhawks Were Just Better Than Us

I've said before that Vancouver fans and media often suffer unfortunate bouts of tunnel vision when it comes to the Canucks. A Canucks' win is followed by praise, and a Canucks' loss is followed by blame, but nothing is ever attributed to the opponent. How did they play? Who plays for them? Is anybody on their team talented? Apart from gushing over Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, or tonight, Steven Stamkos, we often assume the guys who play for other teams have about as much volition as the targets in Hogan's Alley.

Recall an instance earlier this season when Alain Vigneault stood up for his defensemen following a game-winning Kings goal: "It was a simple 2-on-2 and two of their good players beat our two good defencemen and that's going to happen." It's incredible to me Vigneault needed to remind people that the Kings have players who can score, even on guys who are supposed to stop them from scoring.

Guys like Roberto Luongo, who takes blame for any goal, regardless of the circumstances. Did you know that a large part of an NHL players' livelihood is scoring on superstar goalies? They can do that.

With this in mind, it's typical that Vancouver's two consecutive oustings at the hands of the Chicago Blackhawks have been painted as little more than collapses, disappointments, or failures on the part of the Canucks. It seems nobody's been willing to consider the opponent, or perhaps even utter the anathematic truth that, even at the Canucks best, the Blackhawks were just better.

Trevor Linden Lithograph Giveaway in Honour of Markus Naslund

This post and subsequent contest (!!!) is a collaborative effort between us at PITB and the J.J. Guerrero/Chris Golden supertandem of Canucks Hockey Blog.


J.J. Guerrero, Canucks Hockey Blog:

Even as Markus Naslund's career in a Vancouver Canucks uniform was winding down--a career that saw him revitalize a moribund franchise, rewrite numerous franchise scoring records, become the longest-serving captain in Canucks history, and spend countless hours in the community--many fans questioned whether or not his jersey #19 was deserving to be raised to the rafters, whether or not it deserved to hang alongside #12 and #16.

The fact is, many fans have come to compare Naslund's accomplishments with Trevor Linden's and Stan Smyl's. And that's certainly their prerogative. Naslund was an elite level player (an All-Star, Lester Pearson Trophy winner and Hart Trophy nominee), but he was unable to take the Canucks as far into the playoffs as Linden and Smyl. Linden and Smyl played with as much as grit as skill. Fair or not, Naslund was known more for his skill and finesse than anything else.

Because of these differences, however, it's perhaps more appropriate to compare how they connected with Canucks fans. We can debate and dispute stats and playoff runs all we want, but there's one thing that we may all be able to agree on: Naslund connected with Canucks fans who grew up watching the team in the post-Messier era as much as Linden and Smyl did in their respective eras.

Chris Golden, Canucks Hockey Blog:

Having grown up in Vancouver, I've been a diehard fan of the Canucks since Chris' birthday plus one. But there's something about kids from Alberta that I remember the most. I've cheered for an average guy from Glendon, Alberta who went by the name "Steamer." I also hollered "HAR-OLLLLLLD" in the hope that the best 'stache this side of the Rockies (hailing from Edmonton) would lay out to block a slapper. But my first true connection was to a young kid from Medicine Hat.

Harold & Stan were already well into their own careers and I liked them because those were the players my Dad thought were the best. Yet, it wasn't until 1988 when this 18 year old kid named Trevor first donned a Canucks jersey that I truly became excited about the team. He was skilled, yet understood the importance of a blue collar work ethic (as Jim Robson once said "He will play! you know he'll play! He will play on crutches!"). He was exciting to watch and wore his emotions on his sleeve.

But it wasn't just how he performed on the ice that had me enamoured (I'm a confident guy, I can admit that). He may have been from Alberta, but he found his home here on the West Coast of British Columbia. He was the first face of Canucks Place, the player I remember seeing down in the caverns of the Pacific Coliseum talking to the fans, and the player who you'd walk into the most while around town. Some of the darkest days as a Canucks fan were when "he who shall not be named" traded Trevor away and some of the brightest days were after he came back.

And if there were ever an indication that the team got it right when they raised number 16 to the rafters, it'd have to be this: he was always the player that my friends and I ever dreamed we wanted to be when we picked up a stick. And I bet he's still the player younger fans still want to be.

Harrison Mooney, Pass it to Bulis

I watched the Trevor Linden jersey retirement ceremony with some emotional distance, as I never quite understood what he was to Vancouver. It's understandable. In 1994, I was nine; I didn't understand what my testicles did, either. Linden's contributions were a bit beyond my comprehension. By the time I was old enough to understand those contributions--the ones that crafted Linden as the greatest Canuck--Markus Naslund was the guy making them. He was the face of the Canucks; the top draw; the best hope; the spiritual and emotional leader. Yes, Markus Naslund was the greatest Canuck I ever personally witnessed.

And it doesn't matter that he never won a cup; Trevor Linden never won one either. That's not the only basis for greatness. Instead, these guys built their legends on great hockey matched by great work in the community. It's a model for greatness that started with Trevor Linden; Markus Naslund took it and ran with it, and that's where I recognized it. We're all hearing the stories now, about how Naslund passed it to Daniel and Henrik Sedin, and the Canucks are just now reaping the benefits of their great leap forward into a similar role. In that respect, it's important to recognize who Markus Naslund was: the guy that took Trevor Linden's example and turned it into a tradition.

Let me put this in a way that you boomers might understand: Markus Naslund is the Trevor Linden of my generation.

*****

Giveaway time!

PITB is partnering with Canucks Hockey Blog to give away a total of four (4) Trevor Linden lithograph prints. They look like this, (minus the frame):

We are giving away two (2) lithograph prints here on PITB. (CHB is giving away another two prints on their site. One winner will be drawn from Twitter; another winner will be drawn from the comments section.

1) To enter on Twitter, send the following tweet:

RT/follow or enter a comment to win a Trevor Linden lithograph from @passittobulis and @canuckshockey. http://bit.ly/i3yHid #Canucks

2) To enter in the comments section, write which one of Naslund, Linden and Smyl you connected with the most and why.


We'll draw the winners on Tuesday, December 14th, at 7:00 PM, so get your entries in before then.

Rick Rypien Granted Leave of Absence For Personal Reasons

The Canucks announced today that they granted Rick Rypien an indefinite leave of absence for personal matters. This is the second time in three years that Rypien's been granted a leave for personal reasons. It could be a completely separate issue; it likely isn't.

People are wondering what it is, and I hope it stays a secret. If it's substance abuse (as rumoured last time, and only rumoured), it's nobody business but his own. Most of us have a family member or friend that's struggled with substance abuse and it's Hell; there's no need to add a public element to it. And if it's something else, it's still nobody's business but his own.

PITB's prayers go out to Rick Rypien during what must be a very difficult time. Get what you need, Ryp.