I Find This Video Odd: Ryan Kesler, Topless Pizza Delivery Guy

Here is a video from Canucks.com of Raffi Torres doing a postgame interview with Kristin Reid. It's not interesting. For about twelve seconds, that is. And then, a shirtless Ryan Kesler emerges from behind a curtain, chowing down on some za, altogether too pleased with his lingering, nippletastic, pizza-devouring self. First, he just peers. Then he creeps. He gets progressively closer and closer to Raffi as the video goes on. I imagine he's humming the theme from Jaws the whole time.

And then, after standing directly behind Torres for a full minute, he offers Raffi some pizza. Raffi curtly says "No thanks", and half-naked Kesler disappears from the frame.

I'm interested in what Kesler would have done if Raffi had said yes. I'm fairly certain he just ate the only slice of pizza he had. Unless he's Donald Duck, no clothes means no pockets. Also, what is this? A dirty movie? If you want to deliver pizza, wear a shirt.

Cut from the interview: Raffi explains that Kesler is only comfortable without a shirt if he's a holding a piece of pizza. They had to photoshop the slice out of the RK17 shoot.

Shirokov's Playing, So Who Sits?

Yes, this picture is from the future. Don't ask how we got it.

Earlier today, news broke that the Canucks had recalled Manitoba's leading scorer Sergei Shirokov, likely in response to my goading. Shirokov becomes the thirteenth forward on the Canucks' active roster, a spot that opened up when Alex Bolduc went down with another shoulder injury. Despite joining a team with twelve healthy forwards, however, Shirokov will immediately draw into the lineup in Colorado.

This is wisdom for two reasons: first, the Canucks are having a wee bit of trouble scoring goals lately. Vancouver is suffering through a perfect storm of scoring slumps right now, as half the forward corps seems suddenly incapable of bringing offense. Fans in Minnesota and New York would be forgiven for thinking Jonathan Roy is more likely to beat a goaltender than this team's forwards. Second, Shirokov is in the midst of a 12-game point streak. He's hot now. You don't call a guy like that up just to sit him; good on the Canucks for rewarding his strong play with an immediate spot in the lineup.

But who's sitting if Shirokov isn't? Gord McIntyre speculates that it might be Jeff Tambellini, and while it may well be, it's not that cut and dry. There are five guys who might find themselves sitting next to Derek Jory tomorrow night. After the jump, PITB examines who they are and why they might be in line for a benching.

Raffi Torres is Goofy-Looking and I Love Him

Raffi Torres is quickly worming his way into my heart as one of my favorite Canucks this season. His heart-worming ability is partly due to absolutely heart-warming pictures like this one of Torres with his daughter (seriously, that's adorable), but mainly because he is an extremely goofy-looking guy. I find it incredibly difficult to resist liking goofy-looking guys. It's one of the reasons Kyle Wellwood and Jan Bulis are PitB favorites.

Raffi Torres continues that tradition in a big way. Witness the headshots of the Canucks' third line as recently posted on the Kurtenblog:

As Sesame Street taught us, one of these things is not like the others. Torres looks like he just saw a ghost and it's in the process of eating all his Apple Jacks. He's surprised and morose all at the same time. But it's not really his fault: his eyes perpetually look like they're trying to escape from his head, as if he had a literal brainfart¹ and they can't stand the smell. This gives Torres a certain wide-eyed craziness at all times (though this wide-eyedness doesn't seem to help his vision on the ice).

Couple that overall goofiness with a penchant for goal-scoring and the occasional massive hit that seems to break the laws of physics and he's well on his way to filling the oddball-shaped hole in my heart that has been empty since Kyle Wellwood went to Russia. Don't worry, Kyle, you can settle down in one of my lungs: like Jello, there's always room for Wellwood.

After the jump, a brief celebration of Raffi's goofiness, which I love. Don't ever change, Raffi, don't ever change.