Accidental Discoveries: Ryker Kesler is a Party Baby

Big news, everyone: PITB has accidentally discovered something remarkable. Follow along with us. Here's what happened on March 19:

The Vancouver Canucks locked up one of their top players on Friday as Ryan Kesler agreed to terms on a six-year contract extension. The deal will keep him with the club through the 2015-16 season.

The deal will pay Kesler $5 million per season.

You probably remember this. Let's continue. Here's what happened on December 19, exactly nine months later, to the day:

The Vancouver Canucks centre not only set up a goal Saturday afternoon in a 4-1 victory over the Toronto Maple Leafs at Rogers Arena, he then sped off to be with his wife, Andrea, who gave birth at 2:30 a.m. to 7 pound, 2 ounce Ryker.

I do believe we just discovered how they do celebrations in the Kesler family. It appears March 19 was an even busier day for Ryan Kesler than we realized.

Edit: here is a comment from Rachael, a Bulie who happens to be married to Daniel:

You would go there.

On the flip side, my womanly brain automatically thinks, "Oh, so he knew his wife was going to be having another baby and that made him think he should settle down for a while."

In support of this theory I submit the following: the gestation period for humans is actually 40 weeks, which is longer than 9 months, so she could have known she was pregnant just before he signed the contract.

Not that it matters a whole lot. It's still pretty funny. :)

Ryan Kesler Is a Gold Medal Baby Maker

If winning NHL hockey games wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, Ryan Kesler went out last night and had a child. According to Ben Kuzma (as well as hospital records and eyewitness accounts, I would imagine), Kes's wife Andrea gave birth to a bouncing baby boy at 2:30am this morning. That's right. While you were dreaming about falling, the Keslers were producing miracles at BC Women's Hospital. Kind of makes you realize what a waste of time sleep is, huh?

And, of course, because athletes have it exceptionally easy and there are no inherent difficulties whatsoever in their lifestyle, Kesler got to spend a whole eight hours with his wife and newborn son before hopping on a plane to St. Louis. Congratulations on your kid, Ryan. Now go get slashed repeatedly in the calves by David Backes.

Ryker immediately becomes my second favourite Ryker, after this one, and since I ain't no Trekkie, he could be my favourite when all is said and done. Ryker is the Keslers' second child, after daughter Makayla (pictured above), and I'm beginning to see a Kardashian-like trend emerging with the K-based naming practices. I would imagine there are few other things the Keslers want their children to have in common with the Kardashian women, save fabulous wealth and muscular thighs.

Kesler's production is at an all-time high. In the last eight days, he's got 3 goals, 2 assists, and 1 baby. We at PITB send our congratulations to Ryan and his family, and officially welcome Ryker Kesler to the world.