Sunday, December 19, 2010

Ryan Kesler Is a Gold Medal Baby Maker

If winning NHL hockey games wasn't enough excitement for one weekend, Ryan Kesler went out last night and had a child. According to Ben Kuzma (as well as hospital records and eyewitness accounts, I would imagine), Kes's wife Andrea gave birth to a bouncing baby boy at 2:30am this morning. That's right. While you were dreaming about falling, the Keslers were producing miracles at BC Women's Hospital. Kind of makes you realize what a waste of time sleep is, huh?

And, of course, because athletes have it exceptionally easy and there are no inherent difficulties whatsoever in their lifestyle, Kesler got to spend a whole eight hours with his wife and newborn son before hopping on a plane to St. Louis. Congratulations on your kid, Ryan. Now go get slashed repeatedly in the calves by David Backes.

Ryker immediately becomes my second favourite Ryker, after this one, and since I ain't no Trekkie, he could be my favourite when all is said and done. Ryker is the Keslers' second child, after daughter Makayla (pictured above), and I'm beginning to see a Kardashian-like trend emerging with the K-based naming practices. I would imagine there are few other things the Keslers want their children to have in common with the Kardashian women, save fabulous wealth and muscular thighs.

Kesler's production is at an all-time high. In the last eight days, he's got 3 goals, 2 assists, and 1 baby. We at PITB send our congratulations to Ryan and his family, and officially welcome Ryker Kesler to the world.

21 comments:

  1. lol best congratulatory post ever!

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  2. >Kesler's production is at an all-time high. In the last eight days, he's got 3 goals, 2 assists, and 1 baby.

    I almost spit beer all over my keyboard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Correction, Baby Ryker was born at B.C. Womens Hospital, and the family couldn't have been nicer. Way to go on your game and congrats on the new baby boy, hopefully he plays as well as his dad!

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  4. Thanks for the correction, 9:42 Anonymous. I fixed it.

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  5. Kes is getting them past the goalie on AND off the ice!

    Congrats!

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  6. I don't know... I think a gold medal baby maker would have had two at once. People do that you know. Having two at separate times, that's more silver territory if you ask me.

    Don't tell Kesler I said that. Go Team USA!

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  7. I somehow missed this post, probably in my hungover internet avoidance, because it was my birthday. My point is, Ryker was born on my birthday in the same hospital as I was, and Star Trek TNG is my favorite TV show. I don't know what it all means, but it's something!

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