Ryan Kesler VIP Autograph Signing Friday at Firstar Sports

Hey Canucks fans, do you like Ryan Kesler? Yeah, I'll bet you do. Well, here's a scoop from FIRSTAR sports, the clothing line company with which he's partnered for the RK17 line. On Friday, December 10, Kesler will be hosting a VIP autograph signing at FIRSTAR Sports from 2-4pm. That's at 851 Hornby Street, between Smithe and Robson.

The catch: VIP indicates preference. Fans who wear or bring an RK17 item or sales receipt for the RK17 item they previously purchased are guaranteed to meet Ryan. If you don't have RK17 stuff, then you ain't no VIP. You know what you are? General public. Lame. But good news, general public: you're invited too!

You will also have a chance to see #17 in person and have one item signed by him. It just isn't guaranteed. My guess is that it depends on crowd size and whether or not you've been causing a scene (don't cause a scene), or licking shirts (don't lick shirts). And, of course, if you want multiple items signed, then you'd better bring multiple convincing disguises.

You should go. Here are six things you could say to Ryan Kesler if you met him:

• Word on the street is that you love to lose, which is why you found a way to lose twice last year. Can you smile for this photo?
• I found out about your clothing line through the Internet, when I googled "Ryan Kesler in his underwear."
• Why do you hate Canada?
• Your friend Tanner is going to get slaughtered when he plays Scrabble with Pass it to Bulis. You should come to support him.
• Sign your cast! No, your cast. I fished it out of the trash behind your doctor's office five years ago.
• Can I get a picture? You can take your shirt off -- I understand you prefer nippletastic gratuity.

Come to think of it, don't say any of those. A better option might be to just tell him you're a huge fan, congratulate him on his wife's pregnancy, and buy some of his merchandise.