Friday, December 03, 2010

I Find This Video Odd: Short Poems by Roberto Luongo

The following video is a TSN intermission feature that, for some incredible reason, actually happened. What the heck? More than likely, Luongo read Qris's limericks and was inspired. Or maybe my sonnet to Tanner Glass. It is a certainty that PITB is ushering in a new era of Canucks poetry.

I don't really have much to say about what you're seeing. There's simply no need to funny it up; it's already hilarious. My favorite turn of phrase: "ballet on blades, redheaded blaze." But, the best poem by far is the Ode to Dustin Byfuglien, quoted in its entirety below:

Human eclipse
Rhinoceros hips
Who will laugh last when I slash your calf?
Bring me peace, make it cease
Get your big ass out of my crease

Luongo has a great sense of humour and I love that he's able to riff on some of these subjects. The Byfuglien one and the shootouts one in particular are topics a grumpier Luongo--maybe even last season's Luongo--was not in the right frame of mind to laugh about. This was great to see. Watch it twice. This is classic stuff.

It was definitely gutsy for Luongo to agree to do this feature for this game, against the Blackhawks. You know that if the Canucks had lost, we would be questioning Louie's commitment to winning right now. That line of thinking is the pinnacle of idiocy, and thankfully the Canucks won and it's a moot point. Perhaps the injection of levity helped the Canucks play loose?

Anyway, hopefully this isn't the last interesection of the Canucks and the world of the poets. I still want to see Alex Burrows spit some some slam poetry like my man Saul Williams.


  1. Pretty funny guy, that Luongo!

  2. As soon as I saw Duthie's tweet I thought back to my limericks and was certain in that moment that everyone reads Pass it to Bulis.

  3. That was hilarious... Maybe Roberto is finally in that special place... The place where he can make poetry on the ice. I think this might have to be the year for Vancouver... If not, it could be another tough 40 years... or not, either way, a lot of Canuck fans Luong-o for a cup.

  4. Nearly soiled my silks during the for Saul Willams; Burr would make a great francoslam...of course noone would understand wtf he says...sweet link, thanks H.

  5. That's the greatest thing I've ever seen. Especially the outfit. And I love that Luongo can have such a great sense of humour about these things. It probably did help the team relax- they were probably too busy cracking jokes about it in the dressing room to think about who they wanted to slash & punch on the ice. And it's a joke that will keep on giving.

  6. This is greatness in video form.

  7. I saw this last night and thought perhaps I imagined it and its oddness... thanks for posting this so I know I wasn't delusional last night.


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