I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, September 21, 2010

Some highlights from the game we didn't watch.

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis!, chronicling the observations and insights of some guys who watched a hockey game.

Tonight was a slow-burning torture for two diehard Canuck fans like Skeeter and I, and not because the Canucks lost two games concurrently. Rather, because we knew that, the whole time we were watching them play, we were also missing them play somewhere else. The reason this was so painful is because we have spent the entire summer waiting for a Canucks hockey game, only to miss a Canucks hockey game as soon as one occurred. To wit: it's like those old-school popsicles that were actually two popsicles, and while you're eating one as fast as you can, the other is melting in your hand. Let's move on to the game. The one that we watched. The one played in Calgary. The one shown on television.

We watched that game. We watched it hard. Here is what we observed:

• Jannik Hansen was outstanding in the first period and invisible for most of the rest of the game. Perhaps he misread the calendar in the dressing room and thought the 2nd period was in October? The goal he scored was pretty nice, though. Tambellini made a nifty back-pass to give Hansen the yawning cage, and he didn't disappoint. He also didn't disappoint in his intermission interview, in which he sounded and looked like a baby bird clamoring for a mother bird to vomit worms into his mouth.
• Tanner Glass was on the powerplay, which is almost inexcusable, but better there than the third line.
• Marco Rosa looked pretty good and played a solid two-way game. His defensive work was overshadowed by his wrap-around goal and the stickwork he did to get himself there. I saw a couple other dangles as well. Did I forget about this guy in my centers that could make the 4th line post? Probably not. I'm very thorough, and he doesn't have a contract with the Canucks. That means he'll have to outplay Brendan Morrison to get one. Unlikely.
• Shorty: "There's a problem with the Glass in the Canucks zone." At least he's not on the third line.
• Eddie Lack was outstanding tonight. He earned first star honours in only two periods of play. His positioning was solid and his size did the rest. The Stork, as he is nicknamed, brought a bundle of joy to our hearts.... I just fired myself.
• Underrated preseason battle: Alex Burrows vs. John Garrett for the color man job. Garrett better watch it, or he'll be riding the bus in Victoria.
• Glass was decent on the penalty kill, which is a much better place for him than, say, the third line.
• Joel Perrault didn't really do much tonight. That's unfortunate, as he was on the top line, and he's supposed to be fighting for that fourth-line center spot. He's already losing the battle of goodwill to B-Mo. He might need to lose some teeth and doctor his birth certificate so it looks like he's from Pitt Meadows or something. Skeeter: "Are you saying people from Pitt Meadows don't have teeth?" Me: "Not the ones I've dated." Gimme some!
• Andrew "Give Us Barabbas" Alberts and Shane "Pain Lion" O'Brien both had good games tonight, and it wasn't just because all the other NHL defencemen weren't in the lineup. Keith Ballard was there, and he was kind of awful tonight. It was a sobering performance which is good, because there were beers aplenty and someone had to drive home. He was especially bad on the Backlund goal, where he backchecked like Todd Bertuzzi and skated about as fast as, well, me. Which is to say, deceptively slow.
• Tanner "Anywhere But on the Third Line" Glass has a nice mullet. Also: he shouldn't play on the third line.
• Darcy Hordichuk played like a man possessed tonight. Sadly, a man possessed with a spirit. Not with skill. He played like it was the playoffs, but fought the puck like it was George Parros. He had an opportunity with a wide-open net, on a rebound, and put it wide. Also: he hits like Tanner Glass (who, in case you're skimming, has fourth-line potential only.)
• I've liked what I've been hearing about Adam Polasek leading up to this game, but I definitely didn't like his brutal misplay on a cross-ice pass that let Jarome Iginla walk in and score the game-winner on poor, defenseless Tyler Weiman.
• Raffi Torres apparently scored a goal in the other Canucks-Flames game. I sincerely hope he makes that third line, because it might stop Tanner Glass from doing so.