The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead: It Ate Everybody

Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead--often called "the worst lead in hockey"--is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it's a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, PITB will now effortlessly catch up.

• Harold Snepsts' Moustache (and Harold Snepsts, by Association) To the Ring of Honour

The Canucks announced early on Wednesday morning that Harold Snepsts would be the fourth former Canuck to see his name in the Ring of Honour. Snepsts is a worthy recipient, currently holding the franchise records for games played and penalty minutes. Also, he looked like this. I've heard criticism that Snepsts, a depth guy of sorts, doesn't deserve the honour--that if he didn't look the way he did, he might not be remembered as fondly. Well, Halle Berry endured similar criticism, and she's got an Oscar. Admittedly, Snepsts' look did give him a certain notoriety, but you can't fault a guy for riding his remarkable unattractiveness into the annals of Canucks' history. Somewhere, Brent Sopel is wondering if the same strategy could work twice.

• The Monster That Ate Everybody Ate Kevin Bieksa

News broke early this morning that Kevin Bieksa might be the latest devouree of The Monster That Ate Everybody, the creature that's picking offf Canucks' defenseman at a rate of one per game. It turns out that, Tuesday night in Minnesota, when Bieksa stepped in front of the large rubber disc traveling at approximately 100 miles per hour, he got hurt. Juice reportedly has a foot fracture that may keep him out of the lineup, and Evan Oberg has been recalled. Jeff Paterson points out that, if Bieksa doesn't go, Christian Ehrhoff will have 7 more NHL games played this season than the rest of the Canucks active d-corps combined. Hopefully, this occurs to Ehrhoff before he jumps into the rush.

• Surgeries For Everybody!

If you're looking for good news on the defensive front, the best anyone can do is report that everyone's surgeries went well. Edler's back surgery was successful, and Andrew Alberts' wrist surgery was as well. Normally, this wouldn't be big news, but I imagine that the recent string of bad luck had everyone a little concerned something would go wrong on the operating table. Example: Alex Edler blocked a shot during the procedure and wound up being awake through the whole thing. He's out indefinitely with incoherent rambling. Seriously, though, the way they're doling out surgeries these days, the Canucks' doctors must feel a bit like Dr. Nick Riviera. Rumour has it every patient got a free nose job.

• Ian White Not Traded to the Canucks; Everyone But Ian White is Relieved

And finally, perhaps you heard the yesterday's non-news that Ian White had been traded to the Canucks. Obviously, he hadn't, and the news was actually just a Twitter rumour that spread out of control, but still, it was scary for awhile. Reports circulated that Jannik Hansen was headed the other way, and everyone freaked out a little, which is a testament to how far Hansen has come. He wasn't a lock to make this team in the preseason. Now he's a vital cog. Anyway, the news was eventually debunked by way of a Mike Gillis tweet, which is impressively progressive, from one perspective. On the other hand, others suggested Gillis simply did it that way because he didn't want to take a call from TSN.

Alex Edler is Not a Number One Defenceman

I had intended to write this article prior to hearing that Edler was out one game and then indefinitely. Now, it almost seems in poor taste to write it, as the consensus seems to be wailing and gnashing of teeth now that Edler is gone for the foreseeable future. However, I noticed that Puck Daddy and the Vancouver Sun referred to Edler as the Canucks' "top defenceman" and some Canucks fans were coming just short of throwing themselves off bridges with the news that Edler would be out of the lineup. Heck, Jeff Paterson compared the Canucks losing Edler to the Flyers losing Pronger. I'm hoping he wasn't saying that Edler is as important to the Canucks' success as Pronger is to the Flyers', and instead, merely pointing out that good teams overcome injuries to good players. Yes, I hope that's all he's saying.

Let's not go overboard, people. Edler is a great defenceman: he leads the Canucks in average ice-time, powerplay time, and points from the defense. But he is not the Canucks' top defenceman. To be quite frank, the Canucks don't have a "top defenceman." Edler is merely a very good defenceman who plays with other very good defencemen. No one is doubting his contributions to the Canucks or that those contributions will be sorely missed, but there are too many components missing to label him the Canucks' top defenceman. While he has the potential, he is not yet a number one defenceman.

Causes For Concern, For the Canucks Fan That Knows No Other Way

Don't Panic, Canucks Fans. There Are Still Plenty of Reasons to Panic.

Welcome to the stretch drive, the unpredictable and unstable back half of the NHL regular season. With All-Star weekend now in the rearview, the next break in the schedule is the part where it ends, and the looming conclusion to the campaign is enough to send teams and their fans into a tizzy. A win streak or an untimely losing skid can alter one's position faster than drawing a character card in Candyland. With so much on the line, the questions can come fast and furious. Are we good enough? Are we tough enough? Do we have enough depth? It's a nervous time.

Canucks fans should be used to this by now: we go through it every year. But, this year is different. This year, the Canucks appear to be in good standing, and there are seemingly few reasons to panic. Longtime fans could be forgiven for not quite knowing what to do with themselves. PITB is here for you. In the past, we've tried to inject perspective into the fanbase by Babcocking the Canucks, but this time, we need not dream up doomsday scenarios willy-nilly. These are real concerns. Here, for your masochistic pleasure, are a myriad of reasons to caress that familiar panic button--enough worries to make this whole situation feel delightfully familiar. Pure, abject terror after the jump.

Alex Edler to Undergo Back Surgery

Backbreaking news for fans still basking in the glow of last night's solid victory over the Nashville Predators, as it has been announced that Alex Edler's back spasms that kept him out of the game are more serious than initially thought. Edler will undergo micro discectomy surgery on his back and will be out indefinitely.

While Lee Sweatt performed admirably in his absence, scoring the game-winning goal and finishing +2, he still had under 9 minutes of icetime and often seemed overmatched physically. Keith Ballard, on the other hand, stepped up and played a team-high 23:53, boosted by Ehrhoff missing some shifts to get stitches after getting whacked in the face by Ryan Kesler. With Aaron Rome and Andrew Alberts still out of commission, this latest wrinkle forces the Canucks to contend with a depleted blueline that may require further call-ups from the Manitoba Moose and more ice-time from the maligned Ballard.

Alternatively, with Edler sure to go on long-term injured reserve and the all-star game providing a brief break in the schedule, this may be the time to push Sami Salo harder in practice to see if he is ready to slot back into the lineup. The need to clear salary to fit Salo under the cap has suddenly disappeared.

Update: Edler's back surgeon, Dr. Marcel Weird Keyboard Dvorak, has suggested that Edler should recover in 8 to 10 weeks. Edler's surgery is scheduled for Monday, which would put his potential return at March 28th to April 11th if Dr. Dvorak is correct. The Canucks' final game of the regular season will be April 9th, meaning Edler could still return in time for the playoffs.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Stars, January 24, 2011

Canucks 7 - 1 Stars

Friends, Romans, countrymen, I ask you, humbly, what is the cure for an offensive slump? Don't answer; this is a rhetorical question. The solution, as everybody knows, is an opponent with porous goaltending and crap defense. It's a fairly simple remedy, but the real trick is finding a major league team willing to provide it. Short of scheduling a shinny with the Washington Generals or the South Park Peewee Team, you can only hope that some NHL club is going to fly into town and generously lay an egg. Lucky for Canucks fans, that's about what happened in tonight's game which, by the way, I watched:

• What a welcome return to form for the home team. The Canucks played with the energy and pace they'd hinted at during the Calgary game and then some. We also saw a recommitment to limiting shots against (only 26 for a high-scoring Dallas team), and a renewed offensive potency (7 goals, y'all). They played much better than they have in quite awhile, more in keeping with the level of which we know they're capable. Still, before we get ahead of ourselves, it wasn't only a return to form that caused tonight's result; Dallas also played sloppier than a loose meat sandwich. What we saw was the Canucks' get better and the Stars come apart at the same time, and this beautiful coincidence resulted in a nasty shellacking.

• A number of slumps were bumped tonight, but none more important than the goals scored by both of Ryan Kesler's wingers. Mikael Samuelsson's was an especially nice wrist shot. Word is he broke his goal-scoring slump by imagining a logo in the top corner of the net, then hitting it dead center. Perhaps more impressive than the goal, however, were his game-high five shots, equal to how the number of shots he attempted. None were blocked, and none missed.

• I'm not sure if Mason Raymond's goal will stay his. The scorekeepers seemed so eager to declare another slump busted that they seemed to give it to him just because he was near it. Looks like Edler blasted it clean through to me; Raymond might be more deserving of a takeaway for stealing credit. But I won't quibble over whether or not it's his; I'm not Maury Povich. Let's just hope it's the first of many.

• Speaking of blasting pucks, let's take a moment to celebrate the long-awaited emergence of Alex Edler's deadly slapper. He had two assists tonight, both on redirected slapshots (the aforementioned, from Raymond, and one from Kesler to take a 2-1 lead). Christian Ehrhoff also had a goal on one that got clean through. Ehrhoff's been the member of this pairing most willing to shoot this season, which has always seemed silly to me. Edler's got the hardest shot on the team. Now, they're both shooting regularly, and it's made them a lethal tandem on the blue line, with 12 points in the last six games. Letting them fire away seems like a wise move, especially after they broke the power play's two-game mini slump by these very means.

• Aaron Volpatti had a strong game tonight, and it's possible that you hardly noticed. First there was a solid hit on Tom Wandell behind the Stars' net. Then, Krys Barch tried to respond by drawing Volpatti into a fight, but Volpatti was smart enough to realize it wasn't the right time. Instead, he responded by shouting, "F*** you, Barch!" loud enough for the cameras to clearly pick it up.

• Later, Volpatti assisted on the Henrik Sedin 5-1 backbreaker halfway into the 2nd, skating well and centering a puck that would go in off Steve Ott's boot after a touch from Henrik. If the assist wasn't enough, Volpatti then "accidentally" tripped over Ott as he circled the net to celebrate the goal. It was a smart, sneaky play, and don't be surprised that Volpatti's a sneak; everybody knows Ivy Leaguers are shifty. I mean, they steal entire social networks from one another.

• If you're wondering why Henrik Sedin already has a mind-boggling 50 assists on the season, look no further than his puck movement on the power play. Watch him on either power play goal. On Kesler's goal, he draws three defenders to him with a simply head fake before making a brilliant saucer pass to Edler for a one-timer. On Ehrhoff's goal, it's much a simpler feed, but this time Henrik uses a head fake to back his defender off. Opponents are so terrified he's going to pass, you'd think they were auditioning for American Idol.

• The perennially out for blood Daniel Sedin is now 4 points back of the NHL scoring lead. Earlier today, Elliotte Friedman suggested he might get picked last in the NHL All-Star draft. If that happens, I suspect he'll coolly walk to the podium and shoot his captain in the chest, like Boomer on Battlestar Galactica.

• Andrew Raycroft's mask is as sparkly as a preteen girl's binder. Or a preteen girl's idea of a vampire.

• How to make a player lose his mind: eye gouge him in a scrum. Just like the Rypien incident, you can clearly see Burish raging, "he was eye gouging me," after the referees finally pull Burrows and him apart. Not to go all "Ron Maclean" on you guys, but, considering Burr's reputation, he's probably guilty here. That's a finger to the peeper and a stick to the peepee in the last two weeks. He needs to be careful he doesn't get a reputation as a dirty(er) player.

• If he's not careful, he'll undo all the goodwill the Zen Canucks have built up towards officials this season. Seriously, the Canucks successfully argued for a call to be overturned tonight. When the last time that's ever happened? I think we're more used to the "On second thought, the Canucks lose" type of calls. Especially recently.

• Dan Hamhuis dropped his gloves tonight. Dan. Hamhuis. What could Mike Ribiero have possibly said or done to make Hammy drop the mitts? Ribieiro: Frankly, I don't think Haiti deserves our relief. And the children can read to themselves. Hamhuis: I'll kill you!

• Congratulations to Chris Tanev, who picked up his first career point, an assist on Hamhuis's goal, the seventh and final goal of the evening. Tanev showed impressive poise tonight, finishing a plus-one with two blocked shots in just over sixteen minutes of icetime. Granted, everyone (in blue) looked good tonight, but Tanev is beginning to look like he might belong in the NHL, which is more than I can say for tonight's opponent.

• All credit to Tanner Glass, who spent some time tonight as the fourth-line center, and some time as the third-line winger. When he earned third line icetime last season, it was more an indictment of the Canucks' lack of forward depth. This season, however, he's been so defensively responsible and so smart with the puck that he's earned every extra minute he's been given, and I'm happy to eat crow when it comes to his stints in the top nine. I'm still not sold on his scoring ability, but I think, when your third line hasn't scored in ten games or more, Tanner Glass certainly can't make you offensively less potent.

• Kevin Bieksa's eye doesn't look too bad... if he's planning a trip to McDonaldland. His face is so purple he could pass for The Grimace. Speaking of passing, Bieksa did take advantage of the distinguishable mark for some brilliant duplicity. Rather than serve a second period penalty, he traded places with a wax #statueofbieksa (hashtag credit: @RE4713), and nobody noticed because, like the real Bieksa, the replica had a black eye.

• The Canucks dominated the faceoff circle tonight, winning 40 of 65 draws. All four centres finished over 50%, with even Glass winning 4-of-7. He's won 17 of 31 on the season now, which is pretty impressive, considering he was 3-for-18 last season. He's developing this skill really quickly.

• This is the second consecutive game versus the Canucks where the Stars have lost their composure, and you have to consider their sources of leadership. First, Marc Crawford's teams have never been known for being particularly mentally tough (and Crow's never been good at knowing when to pull his goalie, either). Second, Brendan Morrow's captaincy might be a good cautionary tale for those who think Kesler should have gotten the "C" in Vancouver. Like Kesler, Morrow plays an intense, gritty game that's a nice example when he's focused, but he has a tendency to get overemotional and lose focus. When he does, the team follows him. He's simply not a calming force.

• Henrik Sedin, on the other hand, knows how to channel his emotions. He digs so deep, you might say he chunnels his emotions. He was solely to blame on Dallas's only goal, but rather than beat himself up about it, he simply upped his resolve. He looked downright determined to atone for the remainder of the period. Then he did. Not since the award-winning film based on the novel Atonement have I seen such atonement.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Flames, January 23, 2011

Canucks 3 - Flames 4 (SO)

It's a bummer that, for the second time in as many games, the Canucks had to fall in a shootout. That said, I'm hoping that the fans are smart enough to differentiate between the sluggish team that barely managed a point versus San Jose on Thursday night, and tonight's team, which improved as the game went on and controlled the run of play for much of the third period versus the Flames. Yes, Vancouver, your team only skated away with one point, and yes, they've now lost 5 of 6, but if you were looking for improvement, it was there tonight. Or, at least I felt it was when I watched this game:

• You'll hear the media people saying that the Canucks have dropped 5 of 6, but it's somewhat sensationalistic and irresponsible to report it this way when only 1 of the 5 losses was in regulation. They've gotten six points in their last six games, which is the same amount of points they'd have collected by going 3 and 3. The next time someone tells you the Canucks are spiraling, respond by pointing out they're actually playing .500 hockey. It's still worth a mutter, as this team should be better than .500, but it's not worth a panic, as they're not worse than .500, either. Not to mention they were the only of the top three NHL teams to get a point today. Detroit and Philadelphia--the two teams with whom they're jostling at the top of the league--lost in regulation.

• The real big story, I guess, is the odd decision from the NHL war room to call Alex Tanguay's shootout attempt a goal. Vancouver fans are right to be outraged. The call goes against the NHL's rule for reviewable goals, which stipulates that the puck has to be visibly across the goal line in order to overturn an official's no-goal call. In this case, the puck was lost in Luongo's pads, and there was no way to see it cross the line. Though it obviously did, by the letter of the law, the referee's no-goal call should have stood, due to inconclusive footage. Puzzlingly, the NHL used their heads and determined that, if Luongo was in the net, so was the puck. More than anything, it's odd that they decided tonight was the night to go against the letter of the law and utilize common sense. Since when do they do that? Jason Botchford dug up three distinct instances where the War Room called this the other way, and I think that's the infuriating thing here: it's not consistent with how they've been handling this situation in the past. Plus, where was this approach when the "Intent to Blow" controversy started?

• Meh. This game really shouldn't have even gone to the shootout, anyway. The Canucks' power play, usually so good, has now thoroughly failed the team in two consecutive games and dropped to third in the NHL. Identical to last night, the team went 0-for-5 a man up, including, again, an important 4-on-3 in overtime. The unit's had a few short droughts this season, but they need to get this fixed right away. This drought has effectively cost the team two points in the last three days.

• In the first period, Kevin Bieksa took a massive blow to the eye from Tom Kostopoulos, which turned out to be a massive blow to the whole Canucks team when Bieksa didn't return. Word is he's not concussed (yea!), but one of his eyes is swollen completely shut (nay!).

• Do you remember, back in November, when the Canucks' defense was in total disarray? It got so bad that Vigneault put his foot down, then made his top two pairings and committed himself to leaving them together for better or for worse. It's been two months since then, and we've taken for granted the defensive stability that grew out of his decision. It was apparent after the loss of Bieksa threw everything back into disarray. Ehrhoff, Edler, and Hamhuis all wound up playing over twenty-six minutes, but their ice time and shifts didn't make much sense and they didn't synchronize in the slightest. Meanwhile, Keith Ballard still didn't crack twenty minutes, and Chris Tanev's minutes actually decreased from the last game.

• Worse, nobody was ready or rested to join their regular units on the powerplay, which meant seeing Hamhuis and Samuelsson on the top unit, as well as Ehrhoff and Edler with the hapless second unit. It was a waste of a powerplay. I want to say Vigneault should have used a timeout to rest Ehrhoff and Edler to join their regular forwards, but Christian Ehrhoff played a game-high thirty-three minutes tonight; Vigneault clearly forgot rest was an option for him.

• I know Manny Malhotra is one of the forwards mired in a pretty remarkable scoring slump, but he had a great game tonight. Alternate Captain Mal was all over the ice defensively, he won 13 of 22 faceoffs, and he had 5 blocked shots--a game-high.

• Raffi Torres, on the other hand, had another subpar outing, and this time he earned himself a benching. Torres only played 5:43 tonight, only thirty-seven seconds more than Kevin Bieksa. The intermission peewee teams had more icetime.

• Mason Raymond had a few grade A chances, but he's still fighting the puck. Of all the slumping forwards, he's the one that concerns me the most. The Canucks are really thin on the wing if he's not an effective weapon.

• The Sedin line was solid and dangerous again tonight, as Daniel and Henrik both collected a point. However, the real stars of their line were Alex Burrows, who had two assists and was on the ice for all three Canuck goals, and Alex Edler, who was also on the ice for all three goals, and scored two of them himself. The first goal, above, came on a beautiful one-timed snap shot. The second goal came after Jay Bouwmeester slewfooted his goaltender in an ill-advised attempt to distract Alex Burrows.

• A brief word on Daniel Sedin's crosscheck to the back of Mark Giordano: awesome. I recognize that he took a penalty for it, but good on him for responding after the referees let the Flames brutalize the twins all night. Case in point: when "Macho Man" Cory Sarich drove a flying elbow into Henrik Sedin's face. I understand the referees want to let the teams play, but WWE finishing moves are a bit much.

• Ryan Kesler played a surreal game tonight. He seems to have willed his thumb back to health, as he took an unreal 30 faceoffs and won 19 of them. He scored a shorthanded goal that tied the game in the third period. He shadowed Jarome Iginla all night and kept the all-star forward off the scoring sheet. Also, during the second intermission, he flew into outer space and punched a comet into the sun.

• Speaking of punching, the Flames' third goal was a direct result of Roberto Luongo's aggravating tendency to punch the puck instead of catching it cleanly. Somebody needs to remind him he's supposed to catch the puck, not kill it. He's the Rooster Cogburn of goalies.

• Weirdest Kevin Weekes statement: "This is why Tambellini hasn't scored--he shoots lasers." I assume he meant to say that Tambellini isn't using his great shot enough, but it sounded like he was ragging on him for literally shooting lasers. And, as everybody knows, lasers are just fine, unless the walls are covered with mirrors.

• And finally, the Canucks only had 15 hits tonight. Unacceptable. Robbie Williams has more hits, and he sucks.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Avalanche, January 18, 2011

Canucks 3 - 4 Avalanche (OT)

Give the Canucks credit for showing up to play this one. After a horrendous outing in Minnesota exposed their tired road legs, the excuses for a second consecutive poor performance were readymade. Instead, the Canucks vehemently defied the wishes of their bodies in Colorado, and kept up with the speedy Avalanche. They outshot the Avs 43 to 30 and picked up a well-earned point. It could have been two points, even, had the Canucks managed to push through their mental sluggishness the way they did their physical sluggishness.

Unfortunately for them, it was not so, and the mental mistakes came fast and furious. Bad penalties; bad passes; bad reads; lazy backchecks. Against a young, aggressive team like the Avalanche, that crap's not gonna fly. Although, by getting the regulation tie, I guess it sort of did. Hmm. Okay, it did, but then, in the end, it didn't (not unlike the Avro Arrow). Whatever. I watched this game:

• Likely, neither team will be completely happy with the way they played (the Canucks were slow and sloppy, and the Avalanche let a tired road team take the lead three times) but both teams will be happy to leave the stadium with points. (It's like sports day in grade school. Everybody gets a ribbon!) And the Canucks have to be pleased with their Temple of Doom performance, in which they reached inside of themselves and played their hearts out.

• The Canucks' power play covers all manner of sins sometimes. Both Edler and Ehrhoff blasted PP goals from the point that gave their team the lead, and these goals were vital. Had the Canucks had to open up and play from behind for even one second in this game, their suspect defensive play would have been even more prominent, and it could have gotten out of hand.

• It's been a long time since the Canucks have had a sexy callup like Sergei Shirokov, so it was nice to see him play a standout game in his first NHL action this year. He scored his first career goal on a beautiful move (above), and he had a game-high six shots. But, before you get excited, consider he's played two fewer games this month--and nine fewer NHL games. He had fresh legs. He was like Anne Bancroft on skates, his legs were so fresh. Let's wait to see whether or not he can be a standout when the rest of his team isn't playing on fumes, but he was a breath of fresh air last night. Most importantly, he looked capable of creating his own offense, something Kesler's wings have to be able to do. A good start for Shirok.

• The other callup, Chris Tanev, acquitted himself admirably as well. He finished the night a minus-1, but it's hard to fault him on the Luongo misplay that gave David Jones his first of two on the night. Jones was his man, for sure, but everyone in the building thought Luongo would swallow up that puck as it came off the boards. Other than that, Tanev was solid. He got on the ice for just under thirteen minutes, far more than anyone would have expected. He admirably broke up a 3-on-1 when Keith Ballard heeded Qris's advice to step it up, pranks-wise and decided to pull the old fall-down-so-the-rookie-has-to-fend-off-a-3-on-1 routine. Funny guy, that Ballard.

• Don't tell the Vancouver media I said this, but here's your proof that the star awards mean nothing: Alex Edler was named the game's third star. Clearly, someone didn't watch the game (probably John Garrett, who has made a living watching games, but always seems to be attending his first one). While it's true that Edler had a standout game offensively with a goal and an assist, he played one of his worst games of the season defensively. He constantly lost his man, he bobbled pucks at the blue line, he looked dreadfully slow. Despite finishing the game even in the plus/minus category, Edler was on the ice for two Colorado goals, both on the penalty kill, and both times he got absolutely embarrassed by David Jones in front of the net. Jones isn't a small guy, but Edler's bigger, and the fact that Edler allowed himself to get moved right out of the play twice is unacceptable. Watch the highlight package. Colorado goals one and four are mirror images of one another, as Jones simply shades Edler into the useless area, opening up the exact same cross-ice pass. On the first goal, you can find Edler at the side of the net when the pass comes across. On the fourth goal, that's him in the middle, lazily dropping down to block nothing, opening up the same pass and rendering himself helpless to prevent Jones from finding the rebound. A terrible game from #23.

• Kevin Bieksa, on the other hand, played solidly. Nearly every shift, he was breaking up an odd-man rush or clearing the zone before things got dangerous. He finished with 2 hits, 4 takeaways and 3 blocked shots, and considering these three stats are typically undercounted (especially when you play for the road team), that's one hell of a stat line.

• Keith Ballard had a decent game as well, but has anyone noticed how often this guy falls? He's like an ancient empire on skates. Methinks Keith "Babylon" Ballard needs to heed the words of the prophet Jeremiah.

• Is Adam Foote a diplomat's son? He's clearly got some sort of immunity. Foote's a handsy guy, but it doesn't seem to matter who he grabs, punches, or holds--there's never a call. He could grope the First Lady and someone would call it a smart, veteran play.

• The referees missed some egregious offenses, but Raffi Torres sure made it easy on them, huh? Both of his penalties were of the are-you-kidding-me variety, especially his second one. Who tugs on a jersey? Not since Theodore Tugboat have I seen such pathetic tugging. Skeeter and I observed that Raffi Torres has three modes: 1) skateskateskateskate 2) get puck, and 3) put puck. Unfortunately, none of the three modes is any more detailed than that, and Raffi often skimps on the details. Torres is playing some dumb hockey right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he suffers a benching in the near future.

• Speaking of penalties, Henrik Sedin's penalty in overtime was fully warranted. Granted, his man went down easy, but everyone knows there are a two situations where you should never stick your arm out. The first is when you're chasing to break up a two-on-one. The second is when you're on a school bus. That's how you lose a limb.

• A better performance by Roberto Luongo and the Canucks probably leave Denver with a win. He'll get no pass; he was the freshest Canuck and he should have played like it. When your star goaltender is rested and your team isn't, you need a star goaltending performance, and the Canucks didn't get it. The second and third goals are both ones he probably should have had. Know what else he should have had? A Bacon Mushroom Melt. It's only ever at Wendy's for a limited time, and it's delicious. But now it's gone, and who knows how long he'll have to wait for them to bring it back? /regret
  

• And finally, Jeff Tambellini was the fourth-line center last night, and while he did a fine job (especially in the faceoff circle, where he was 5-for-6) I'm not sure I like him and Mason Raymond on that line together. They're too tiny, and tiny on the fourth line is a bad idea, unless it's an ironic nickname for someone huge, like Tiny, the classic character from SNES's Clayfighter.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Wild, January 16, 2011

Canucks 0 - 4 Wild

Every so often, good hockey teams comes down with a case of bogusness. Suddenly, they flub passes, fan on shots, miss defensive coverages, and skate around like the walking dead, more suited to converging on the Monroeville Mall than the Xcel Energy Center. It can be terribly difficult to watch a team do hockey in these instances, as they seem to have forgotten how entirely. When this happens to your team, hockey fan, it is advised, for your sanity, that you A) stop watching, and B) do not continue watching. That is, unless you're committed to a blog that does game recaps for every game, even the awful ones that are more torturous than the last game you described as torturous. Sigh. I watched this game:

• Allowing Henrik Lundqvist to shut you out: acceptable. Allowing Anton Khudobin (emphasis on the who?) to shut you out: less acceptable. Granted, Khudobin stopped 32 shots and deserves congratulations for his first NHL shutout, but he was vomiting rebounds like a fat guy out of a Monty Python sketch. Despite gift-wrapping some dandy tap-ins and putting himself out of position more than a few times, he never needed to worry, as the Canucks reacted to all yawning cages by yawning back.

• How bad were the Canucks last night? Shorthouse and Garrett remarked--on two occasions--that Martin Havlat was having a good defensive game. When you make Martin Havlat look defensively sound, you are playing poorly.

• Speaking of the broadcast team, we often rag on John Garrett for being an insane homer, but John Shorthouse has his moments as well. Consider, for instance, his liberal use of the word "shutout," from the middle of the second period onward. This can only have been a brazen attempt to jinx Khudobin into letting one past him, but unfortunately, Shorthouse is as terrible at cursing someone as Wendy, the Good Little Witch.

• Also awesome homerism: when Shorty tried to wish his son a happy birthday, and the cameras went to random boys in the crowd. Shorty made sure to mention these kids weren't his kid, and when Garrett remarked that a boy in a Wild jersey resembled Shorty's son slightly, Shorty snapped back that his son wouldn't be wearing a Wild jersey.
  

• If you want an example of how terrible the Canucks were, look no further than their 4th goal against: the Canucks control the puck for about a minute, seemingly incapable of making two crisp feeds. Passes are in legs, overskated, off skates and over sticks. Minnesota is content to sit back while the Canucks dick around, so they hardly forecheck during this comedy of errors. Then, after bungling for an entire shift, the Canucks finally dump the puck in and make a sloppy line change. Their forechecker, Jannik Hansen, is so slow to pressure that Minnesota is already in transition by the time he gets there. The Wild have the the puck for ten seconds. In that time, Alex Edler gives up the zone, then gives up the boards, and Raffi Torres goes for a skate while his man, John Madden finds himself open in front for a tap-in. I'm sure the team will be watching video of this sequence, as they looked slow, inept, and out of sync, and Minnesota made them look stupid.
  

• My wife, upon watching that sequence: "Wow, Minnesota is fast." No, honey, they most definitely are not. But there was a time when people thought a 28.8 modem was fast, too. It just depends on what you're comparing it to.

• Shorty and Garrett lauded Alex Edler on his strong play lately, noting that he hadn't been a minus player in ten games. In an effort to make up for this, Edler put in a minus-3 performance, including gift-wrapping a breakaway for Marty Havlat goal with a beautiful drop pass. Perhaps he realized he's not ready to be thought of as the number one guy, and was simply managing expectations?

• This is two losses in three games, and while it's tempting to say the Canucks are so good the only way to beat them is to shut them out, let's be more damning. The Canucks are mired in a brutal scoring slump right now, shut out twice on this road trip and looking completely uninterested in scoring goals at times. Ignore the four they put up in Washington; there are Timbits minor hockey teams that could score on the Capitals.

• Because our complementary scoring has been solid for two seasons now, People often forget that the Canucks' offense lives and dies with the Wizards of the Coast. Henrik Sedin has now gone three games without a point. The last time Henrik had three or more pointless games was last February, when he didn't get on the board in four straight. The Canucks went 1-3 in that span. Here's hoping a wide open game in Colorado breaks the slump before the Canucks repeat that exact scenario.

• You know who needs offense? The Canucks. Know who's on a pretty impressive scoring streak? Sergei Shirokov. Know who doesn't have an extra forward on the roster right now? The Canucks. Know who they should call up? Mario Bliznak.
  

• While there are no excuses for playing this badly, here's one: The Canucks are exhausted. After six games in nine nights, they immediately began a five-game road trip that's taken them across the country and back. You could say the dense January schedule appears to be catching up with them. Good teams can overcome a bit of sand in their skates, but there are going to be games like this one, where they simply don't have the legs. This is cause for concern, however, because the schedule doesn't let up for quite awhile.

• Watch Christian Ehrhoff try to catch Matt Cullen on the shorthanded goal (2:50 of above clip). Daniel Sedin outskates him. Daniel Sedin.

• The Wild's first goal probably shouldn't have counted. Last I checked, you couldn't score by having a super orgy porno party on top of the goaltender, then driving him into the net with a Shoryuken. Maybe this is a new rule.

• People often criticize Alain Vigneault for juggling lines last night like Zack Morris trying to have three dates at once, but when every single one of your scorers suddenly becomes dead weight, you'll try anything. The truth is that the players hate line-juggling as much as the fans do. The coach knows this; it's an in-game punishment. The way to earn consistent linemates is to be consistent. When he mixes up the lines, Vigneault isn't just guessing or hoper-groping--he's sending a message to his team.

• Speaking of AV, I love the way he chews gum when his team is crapping the bed. Slightly harder. Is that a tell or what? I want to play poker with Alain Vigneault. #PokerMeAlain

• Ryan Kesler was 4-for-14 in the faceoff circle. His thumb is clearly still bothering him. I hope, for his sake, he takes care of that thing before he loses it, or he'll have to go through life unable to hitchhike or co-host film review programs.

• Mason Raymond has regressed to the perimeter play he appeared to have grown out of early last season. Let's hope this is just temporary and he finds that other gear soon. He's not even on pace for twenty goals, and he's supposed to be an anchor on the second line.

• Poor Cory Schneider has gone from being Roy Halladay of the Philadelphia Phillies to Roy Halladay of the Toronto Blue Jays. Poor guy could use some run support.
  

• In the absence of Alex Bolduc, Tanner Glass spent some time in the middle. He was 3-for-5 on draws, which means he's been above 50% in both games as the 4th line center. I knew he was smart, but I'm concerned at how quickly he's learning. What else can he become proficient at in a short period of time? I need to go practice my Scrabble.
  

Forecasting the Canucks' Year-End Awards

Two of these guys are in line for some sweet trophy action.

Having reached the halfway point of the season, now seems a good time to reflect on its first half, and to forecast who might be in line for a year-end trophy. In this post, PITB takes a look at the four major awards, and the leading potential recipients for each.

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Ask it to Bulis: The Greatest Canucks' Moustache & Other Inquiries

Ask it to Bulis is a regular feature wherein casual readers and hardcore Bulies alike can put their questions to two guys no more qualified to answer than they are. Harrison and Daniel preside:


Greatest Canucks' mustache: Babych or Snepsts? -- @staticotaku

H: Tough first question. I'm gonna go with Snepsts, and for totally subjective reasons. It was a slightly fuller, more unkempt mustache that covered a little more area. And because of its downward curvature, he looks the most like Mr. Johnson, the beleaguered blue Muppet who constantly makes the mistake of eating at Charlie's Restaurant, where Waiter Grover works. I have so much sympathy for Mr. Johnson, as there were clearly no other restaurants in Sesame Street (like the Red Robin in Maple Ridge), I can't help but love Harold Snepsts.

D: I have to disagree. Babych has the classier, more kempt moustache. It was big and bushy, but under control. Snepsts has a classic 'stache, but it's just a little too out-of-control for my tastes. There's a reason Babych is #7 on this list of top ten 'staches in all of sports and Snepsts doesn't even warrant a mention.

H: Because MSN.com has the last word on this, apparently.

Random Oddity: Alex Edler has Taken 2 Faceoffs?

It's remarkably easy to spend an excessive amount of time clicking around NHL.com's stat pages. While it doesn't quite reach the addictive qualities of Wikipedia and is miles away from TV Tropes, a puckhead like me can easily see time disappear faster than every contestant's hopes of winning on Ninja Warrior.

Today, however, I stumbled across something odd: Alex Edler has taken two faceoffs. In fact, he is one of only three defencemen in the NHL to record more than one faceoff this season.

Now, before you all rush to the message boards and declare Alex Edler to be the Canucks new fourth line centre, a couple caveats. First, that's stupid. And second, he apparently lost both faceoffs.

But I'm more interested in knowing how it happened. When a centre is waved out of the faceoff circle (which can happen for a multitude of reasons), he's normally replaced by a winger. There are many reasons for this, but it should suffice simply to say that defencemen just aren't meant to take faceoffs; let's say it's against their nature. If the second player taking the faceoff also commits a faceoff violation, the team gets a 2-minute bench minor for delay of game, so you simply won't see several players waved out until a defenceman is the only one remaining to take the draw.

The only occasion I can think of when a defenceman might be called in is if the team is defending a 5-on-3 powerplay with one forward and two defencemen. Oddly enough, the one record I could find in the Canucks season so far of Edler taking a faceoff it was in their unfortunate 6-2 loss to the Minnesota Wild in October where there were no 5-on-3 powerplays for the Wild. In fact, the faceoff was in the offensive zone. To make things even more confusing, the Canucks were on the powerplay at the time with both Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler on the ice.

So is it just a clerical error? Did someone write down #23 instead of #33? Well, yeah, probably. Unfortunately, I couldn't track down the other game that he took a faceoff in to see if it too was a typo or a mistake. Given the vital importance of this stat, I enlist you, the fine Bulies reading this, to track down that faceoff!

Scoring from the Back-End

Hey guys, remember when this blog was about hockey?

I promise, that's not a euphemism. Instead, I want to talk about our defencemen and the lack of scoring we've seen from them so far this season. It seems like an odd time to bring this up, considering Alex Edler is tied for 8th in scoring amongst defensemen with 13 points in 17 games, a 62-point pace. The Kurtenblog wrote a piece today praising Edler for his play thus far, and rightly so. Christian Ehrhoff is not far behind, with 10 points so far this season. But what I want to talk about is goal scoring.

Through 17 games, the Canucks defense has scored a grand total of 6 goals. This puts them on pace for 28.7 goals in 82 games. Last season, the Canucks defense scored 42 goals, 14 of them from Christian Ehrhoff. After 2 goals in the first 3 games of the season, Ehrhoff hasn't scored since. The second-leading goalscorer from the blueline, Sami Salo, may not even play this season. Those 42 goals were a big chunk of the Canucks' Western Conference leading 268 goals-for.

Fortunately for the defense, the forwards have stepped up in a big way to pick up the slack. Indeed, despite the lack of goalscoring from the defense, the Canucks are still on pace for 261 goals-for this season, with Daniel Sedin leading the way. His 12 goals in 17 games puts him on pace for 58 goals this season, which would shatter his career high of 36. Last season, Steven Stamkos and Sidney Crosby shared the Rocket Richard trophy with 51 goals.

Still, this lack of goalscoring from the defense is a concern. As much as we hope that Daniel Sedin will continue his goal-scoring prowess and that the Canucks' leading goal-scorer last season, Alex Burrows, will round into form as he gets settled into the season, the Canucks need scoring from the defense in order to remain a well-rounded team that is difficult to shutdown.

So why hasn't the defense been scoring? Ehrhoff's stall at the beginning of this season and the lack of Sami Salo are definitely the main contributors, but neither Dan Hamhuis nor Keith Ballard have been able to improve their offensive game upon coming into Vancouver and have been hampered by injuries. Kevin Bieksa has clearly been told to focus on his defensive abilities rather than scoring and was only able to score 3 goals last season in any case. Quite frankly, the defense has been a bit of a mess over the last couple weeks. I am confident that this will change. This is why I'm not too worried yet, even though they're on pace for 13 fewer goals than last season.

Ehrhoff is capable of being better, Edler is showing steady improvement while playing 25 minutes per game, and Hamhuis and Ballard can only improve as they complete their recovery from injuries and, in Ballard's case, off-season surgery. With more steadiness surrounding him, Bieksa will have room to open up his offensive game and, while I doubt he will return to 40 points, could certainly score a few more than the 3 goals he managed last year.

As always, I am optimistic about the Canucks and their abilities, but I do not want to be blindly optimistic. The Canucks defense has been shaky defensively on this road trip, but they also have been questionable offensively. I am confident the goals will come (Edler and Ehrhoff are in the top-15 in the league in shots), but if the trend continues throughout the season, it will be troubling come playoff time. A team that relies too heavily on scoring from forwards is more easily shutdown.

Every Goal, Defenseman Edition: Alex Edler & Kevin Bieksa

Last year's Canuck defense corps scored 42 of the team's 268 goals, an impressive total good for second among team scoring by defenseman to the Phoenix Coyotes. Offense from the blue line was preached all season long, and the offensive abilities of a newly-acquired Christian Ehrhoff and a still-developing Alex Edler were allowed to flourish. With this year's acquisitions of Keith Ballard and Dan Hamhuis, as well as, hopefully, a healthy Kevin Bieksa, these numbers could be even higher. But why are we looking ahead? Let's take this week to revisit each and every one of the 42 goals scored by a Canuck defenseman. In bold, you will find each goal's chronological standing among the 42. Up today: Alex Edler's 5 goals and Kevin Bieksa's 3.

As we get into the guys with lower totals, I'll start pairing them together so you're not left feeling short-changed. I figured Edler and Bieksa would be a good pair because, unlike the Canucks' other defensive goal-scorers to come, these guys will wear the Orca next season as well.

Alex Edler

1. Nov. 28 vs. the Edmonton Oilers (12)

Edler's first goal of the season is a power play tally from the point, but what makes it special is the little bit of patience he shows when he thinks about slapping it, then pulls it back to avoid a defender and goes with a clever little wrist shot instead. I've been touting Edler's power play intelligence all through this series, and this is just another reason why I'm right. A lesser power play quarterback might try to force that shot through, and if it's blocked by Tom Gilbert's shin, it's nothing except for maybe a 2-on-1 the other way.

2. Dec. 2 vs. the New Jersey Devils (14)
It's no wonder Edler's often talked about with superstar potential. The guy's got a wicked wrist shot, the hardest slapshot on the team, incredible passing ability, size, mobility, and so on, and so on. Here is another example of that great wrist shot, as Kesler puts him in a prime opportunity to score and he wires a wrist shot past Marty Brodeur.

3. Mar. 7 vs. the Nashville Predators (32)
Edler's third goal of the season is also on a feed from Ryan Kesler, but the real wizard here is Pavol Demitra, whose determined soccer kick starts this play. Demitra disappointed overall, but he had some flashes of brilliance. He could surprise you, and I think he surprised everyone with this. Again, Edler scores with a wrist shot and not a slap shot. I remember his fifth goal of the season being an empty-netter, so if his next goal isn't a Howitzer it means he didn't score once with his booming slapper last season. That would be a major surprise.

4. Mar. 18 vs. the San Jose Sharks (35)
There's the slapshot I was looking for. Edler has a cannon, and while it only got him one goal last season, you have to imagine he's got more goals like this in him next year. I'm amused at how often Kyle Wellwood is the net presence in these clips. I liked him in that role, but I want someone who goes for loose pucks as desperate as Kesler or Burrows, not lackadaisical Welly. Think it'll be Raffi Torres next season?

5. Apr. 4 vs. the Minnesota Wild (38)
Edler's fifth goal of the season is an empty-netter to seal a win against the Wild. Nice draw weight. I'm surprised Edler only got 5 goals last season. Expect that total to increase as he develops his confidence with the puck. Edit: I originally yawned at this, but commenter OPAQUE reminded me that, after this goal, the Wild scored two goals out of nowhere to send it to overtime, where Salo won it with this goal. Thanks for the reminder! Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Kevin Bieksa

1. Oct. 1 vs. the Calgary Flames - Kevin Bieksa (1)

Bieksa's first goal of the season is also the Canucks' first goal of the season, cutting into the Flames lead in last year's season-opening loss. While we were wrong in assuming it was the start of a career year for Juice, it's a nice reminder now of what he might be capable of this upcoming season, provided he's with us all year. I've soured on Bieksa a bit, but he is a good offensive catalyst, even if his defensive lapses drive me nuts.

2. Apr. 10 vs. the Calgary Flames (41)

Did you know that Kevin Bieksa's three goals last season were all against the Calgary Flames? I didn't know. I also didn't realize they came in the first and last games of the season. I know his season was buggered by the lacerated tendon, but that's still quite odd. Anyway, Bieksa's second goal of the season is an easy one, as the Sedins do all the heavy lifting here with a give-and-go and a drop-pass before finding Juice wide open, breaking to the net. Good on him for going there, although we learned last season that even Brad Lukowich thought he was Brett Hull when the Sedins were on the ice.

3. Apr. 10 vs. the Calgary Flames - Kevin Bieksa (41)

I remember this goal. Bieksa was kind of choked to score it, because the team was trying to get Henrik touches and pad his lead in the points race. Bieksa looks even more grim than usual, primarily because of the irony. He was just trying to get it on net so Henrik could get a stick on the rebound. Instead, he scores. After the season Bieksa had, you can see why he wasn't expecting to.

Ryan Kesler is a Woo Boy

Just a quick share for those of you who sometimes think that our beloved Canucks aren't human. This is from just after last night's series win over LA, so he definitely has a reason for throwing his hands in the air like he just don't care. I know Kyle Wellwood marvels at how serious Ryan Kesler always is, but Kyle, explain why--if Ryan is so serious--he's always caught doing such un-serious things and makes for such good animated gif content? I have no answer for you. I just know that Ryan Kesler loves to dance.

While we're on the topic: Ryan Kesler is not the only Canuck who can't resist a fat sack of beats. Here are some other classic Canuck dancing moments:

Mason Raymond, Luc Bourdon, and Alex Edler at the Canucks Dice N' Ice event, 2007. Note Edler's robot--an appropriate dance for the Iceman. Raymond has no idea what he's doing. And isn't it nice to see Luc Bourdon again.


Daniel and Henrik as hot Swedish twins dancing for change. They claim they would never do this, but what do they mean? They would never dance, or they would never dance for so little?


Have I forgotten any? Leave a tip in the comments section and we'll add it.