Top 5 Canuck Hipchecks of 2010-11

Some say the hipcheck is a lost art in the NHL, but you'd be hard pressed to find a Vancouver fan that feels this way. The offseason additions of Keith Ballard and Dan Hamhuis, two defenders that love to hip check, made going wide versus the Canucks a downright dicey proposition. Eventually, even Aaron Rome fell in love with the hit, giving the Canucks three guys who could surprise with a hipcheck at seemingly any moment. The result: perhaps the only team in the NHL for whom the hipcheck was common.

I'm not sure Canucks fans realized how spoiled they were this season. With that in mind, PITB has compiled a countdown of the five finest hipchecks thrown by the boys in blue and green in the 2010-11:

Topless Kesler Now a Staple of Canucks Web Content

Ryan Kesler keeps forcing himself on interviews while neglecting to force shirts on himself.

Here's the Canucks.com Reid Report, featuring a Dan Hamhuis interview in which Ryan Kesler, again, drifts into the frame, toplessly nourishing himself.

If you're keeping score at home, that two Canucks.com videos this week to feature creepy, topless Ryan Kesler. Is he going for the topless hat trick? Is Kristin Reid aware that he's committed to bogarting her interviews?

I say yes. Though this one is certainly more natural, it still feels strangely intentional. I suspect this is some sort of dare, perhaps inspired after the team spent an evening watching Andy Samberg videos on Youtube, and felt particularly inspired by People Getting Punched Right Before Eating? Expect topless Ryan Kesler to keep popping up unexpectedly while Kristin Reid interviews his teammates.

Seriously, topless Ryan Kesler is the new cigar guy.

Thanks to Kristin for the tip.

Edit: apparently, the Kesler cameos are coming in waves. Here he is, casually wearing sunglasses indoors in the background of a Chris Higgins interview, via CDC poster tryptic.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Ducks, March 6, 2011

Canucks 3 - 0 Ducks

After the highly contentious atmosphere in the Staples Center last night, the Honda Center was downright pleasant. It's not just that the Anaheim fans are generally more congenial (one woman gave us free hot dogs), but the building itself is a little nicer, a little more organic. Whereas the Staples Center is cold, metallic, and looming, provoking aggression and ill will, the pastel paint job and burnt sienna seating of the Honda Center provoke congeniality, oneness with humanity and spiritual contentment. The Ducks fans were downright nice, although it might have been that they were defeated from the outset. They were outnumbered by Canuck fans from the moment the doors opened, and their teams found themselves trailing less than a minute in, after Manny Malhotra scored on Vancouver's first shot. It was difficult for the Anaheim fans to muster much enthusiasm, especially since their attempts were quickly drowned out by the excitable Canucks contingent, like whom and with whom, [we] watched this game.

• Cory Schneider recorded his first NHL shutout tonight, getting his body in front of all 26 shots as though he didn't want to let in any goals. It was weird. He didn't have to be overly acrobatic in these saves, but Schneider never is. He's positionally sound, like a shooter tutor, but without all the holes. According to Sportsnet, he also scored all three Canucks goals, recording his first career hat trick (take that, Luongo!) Like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, he played every role tonight. Unlike Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, it was a treat to watch him.

• It was less of a treat to watch Dan Ellis, who had many problems tonight. One of which was the first shot of the game, later extrapolated into the first shot of periods. Only in the third did he manage to stave off this problem, pushing it to the second shot. Ellis wasn't good tonight, but it may not have been his fault. It may not have been Ellis. The in-arena announcer introduced him as Dan Sexton. Was it Sexton? If so, that might explain why he sucked at playing goal.

• It's a shame Ellis wasn't on top of his game, as he only had to face 16 Canuck shots. Ryan Getzlaf, alone, had 11. The Canucks, as a whole, barely outshot Ryan Getzlaf. But don't rush to claim Vancouver was outplayed. After scoring so quickly in the first and second periods, they clearly saw no need to push the play.

• The 1/2 Pound Hot Dog sold at the Honda Center is obscenely large. It's almost as obscene, porkwise, as Antiochus Epiphanes' decision to sacrifice a pig on the altar of the temple in Jerusalem. Way uncool, Antiochus. Totally not rad.

• You might think we at PITB could run out of ways and reasons to praise Jannik "Baby Dragon" Hansen, but he continues to find new ways to amaze. On Saturday, he was the game-winning goal scorer, but tonight, he temporarily transformed into a playmaking wunderkind akin to Bertolt Brecht. Seriously, he was so Brechtian he broke the fourth wall. And on the second goal, it was impossible to miss his use of Verfremdungseffekt.

• Maybe the proximity to Hollywood Boulevard has inspired the third line to become star producers. They're the Weinsteins of the Canucks right now, and it shouldn't surprise. When this line originally broke out back in early November, it was during a mild scoring slump for the rest of the team. Unsurprisingly, they've again become the most consistent scorers during a dry spell for their more offensively inclined compatriots. This has been a longer spell, but it's merely meant a longer string of great play from Malhotra, Torres and Hansen. They've got 10 goals in their last eleven games, and they're doing it a number of different ways. Tonight, they scored one goal on the rush, and one goal on the forecheck.

• Meanwhile, Mason Raymond can't catch a break, save the literal way. You'll recall, back in December, when he scored a hat trick against Calgary and appeared to be finding his game, only to suffer a broken thumb and miss a month. Now, as he appeared to be re-finding his game, he injured his shoulder in an open-ice collision with a Duck player. He went straight to the dressing room, returning to test the shoulder for one shift, but then it was back to the dressing room. Word is he'll be re-evaluated Monday. Here's hoping the doctors declare him awesome and give him a sucker and a balloon.

• Rumour has it Keith Ballard has been playing injured, which might explain why Aaron Rome has been getting more icetime than him despite being objectively Aaron Rome. That said, Rome had more icetime tonight than every Canuck but Dan Hamhuis. Maybe everyone has groin injuries? It was probably the trip to Knott's Berry Farm. That roller coaster really jerks you around. Granted, Rome wasn't terrible tonight, but he also wasn't Christian Ehrhoff or Sami Salo. In short: like the Jews might have said two thousand years ago, I'm a little tired of Rome.

• The Ducks were really after Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis tonight. They may have been upset that his overt community work was upstaging CHOC night. He came out for the warmup skate with a fanny pack full of epi pens.

• I suspect the Ducks were actually trying to provoke Tanner Glass into a scrap, especially once he rebuffed George Parros' attempt to start one after the Canucks went up by two. We've seen, in the past, that when one team wants to fight and the other doesn't, the best method to force their hand is headhunting their top guys. Seeing as Hamhuis was almost always on the ice (23:55) and had just recently returned from a concussion (sustained against this very team), he was a provocative target. Anaheim charged him often, but thankfully, the Canucks stayed zen and, like Ferdinand the Bull, refused to fight.

• Speaking of Parros and Glass, it was interesting to see the two scrappers chat together before the game. We imagine the conversation went something like this: Hey, how are you? Pretty good. Want to fight later? Maybe. Isn't it great being an Ivy leaguer? Yeah, totally. Well, see you later.

• After a string of 16 unsuccessful man advantages, Daniel Sedin finally broke the slump by scoring a power play goal. How did he do it? Well, he turned Andreas Lilja into a Sedin and executed a perfect slap pass. I always suspected the Sedins were pod people.

• In an ironic twist, Maxim Lapierre was the featured player in the Anaheim Ducks' digest for this game. As an Anaheim Duck. Yikes. They should update their content.

• After the game, we met Matt and Savanna, a couple of local Bulies who had taken in the game. It was neat. As we walked to our car, they spotted Harrison's Tanner Glass shirt and shouted "Pass it to Bulis!" What followed was about a half hour of kindly chatting. They are solid people, which is more than I can say for the people of Futurama's planet Trisol. They are made of water.

• And finally, tonight marked our first meeting with mysterious third contributor Qris Johnson. He was a quality dude. He'll be taking over the next two IWTGs as we make the long trek from LA to Phoenix, then from Phoenix to San Jose. Be nice to him.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Kings, March 5, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

After spending about twenty hours in the Nissan Versa, bickering about music selection, coining new swear words, and fighting off an invisible army of cramps, well, it was some sort of glorious reprieve to finally get to the hockey portion of the road trip. Not that there weren't highlights en route. For example: Bonnie Tyler's Faster Than the Speed of Night is about fifteen and a half minutes long, and it's the best quarter-hour you'll ever spend. A pack of Red Vines lasts forever. BTO's greatest hits is divisive. Medford, Oregon is a bit of a dump (as is their Ramada Inn), but the pool is frickin' immense. Miniature basketballs, when flung at the proper velocity, can leave large red welts on one's chest. The portions at Claim Jumper are sinfully massive. That said, it's still a long and exhausting journey--one that tests the will and drains the spirit--until the hockey part starts. Well, it started, we attended it and, while in attendance, [we] watched this game:

• The massive number of Canucks fans at the Staples Center was nothing short of astonishing. Downright egregious, even. After the first period, Kings fans stopped shouting Go Kings Go, because the chant immediately became Go Canucks Go (and you can't fight that, either; Canucks has harder phonetic sounds). The atmosphere in the building was electric as each team's fans fed off each other. In fact, it was often louder than the Nashville game from the other night. Shame on you, Vancouver Canucks fans in Vancouver. After the game, Canucks fans gathered into boisterous clusters, cheering and chanting. One fan tried to put his Trevor Linden jersey on the Wayne Gretzky statue out front (a clear jersey foul), before abandoning the attempt and draping a Canadian flag over the statue's shoulders instead. I was asked the question "What is a Canuck anyway?" by a curious Kings fan on the sidewalk as he marveled at the masses of blue and green. Another just took one look at my jersey and the smile on my face and said "F*** you!" In short, we were not welcome. Whatever. We won.

• Like palm trees in Los Angeles, Jannik Hansen was everywhere. The goal he scored was a classic bit of third-line grittery, as Hansen and Torres combined for some excellent forechecking and physical work down low before Torres swung the puck out front for Hansen to patiently pokecheck it into the net. He added 3 hits of the genus destructus and some solid work on the penalty kill, which took care of all 6 Kings' powerplays. Said Vigneault of the Delicious Dane: "He came out with a lot of fire in his cute little voice." That's Hansen, all right. Cute and full of fire. Jannik Hansen: baby dragon.

• I still owe Hansen a beer.

• The powerplay was the reciprocal of the penalty kill, going 0-for-6. There was simply not enough movement on the powerplay. It looked better as the game went on, and the Kings gave them ample opportunity to practice their powerplay skills, but the Canucks player on the half-wall (frequently Henrik) often ended up standing around waiting for something to open up while the rest of the powerplay unit stood around not opening anything up. The Canucks' struggles on the powerplay are becoming bothersome, as they haven't scored a powerplay goal in 5 straight games, going 0-for-15 in that stretch. They waste the man advantage like the Midianites.

• Drew Doughty was incensed after Daniel Sedin scored the go-ahead goal, going right after the referees and screaming that he was cross-checked. He didn't let it go either, yelling at the refs after being called for diving with 5 minutes left and continuing to berate the refs until they finally gave him a 10-minute misconduct in the final minute of the game. Watching the replay, there's no cross-check; Daniel merely pushes him away. Honestly, I just think he was embarrassed that he got so easily moved by a Sedin.

• Speaking of being easily moved by a Sedin, it was hard not to feel for Henrik when he flashed a pouty face after taking a Doughty high stick. The jumbotron couldn't get enough of Henrik's protruding lip, especially when Henrik later took a penalty. A shiny silver piece for anybody who finds us this image.

• The cycle on Daniel's goal was beautiful, if not quite wizardous. The activation of Ehrhoff from the point completely befuddled the Kings' defenders, leaving him with a clear path to the front of the net and a fabulous scoring chance. Quick was almost as upset as Doughty, suggesting that he was interfered with by Burrows. Burr did nudge him slightly as he passed by, but the bigger issue for Quick was having two of his own players crash down on top of him. Doughty was pushed slightly, but I suspect Willie Mitchell was just dizzy. He should learn proper spotting techniques to avoid this in the future.

• Kings are a chippy team, following the lead of their captain, Dustin Brown. Their activities after the whistle frequently got them in trouble and the Canucks broke their zen attitude in response. 17 penalties, but no fights. It was a bit like a playoff game. The only difference: it wasn't.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis had yet another quietly effective game. He finished a game-high +3 in 24:24 of ice-time. He also played a team-high 5:08 on the penalty kill and spent the intermissions telling kids in Africa "I may kill penalties, but the deadliest killer is Malaria" before distributing bed nets.

• In the faceoff circle, Ryan Kesler went 13-for-16, Malhotra went 13-for-21, and Henrik went 7-for-12. So Henrik has to pay for the frozen yogurt.

• Aaron Rome was not good. At all. He dropped to minus-1 after getting outmuscled by Dustin Penner on Kings' only goal, and frequently made bad puck decisions. Still, he played more than Keith Ballard, including a full minute on the powerplay. I usually have an answer or, at worst, a theory as to why something is the way it is, but Rome's icetime is this season's most labyrinthine side story. Seriously, there's a minotaur in it.

• 4th line spent an inordinate amount of time pinned in the defensive zone against the Kings' top line. I suspect this was some sort of ploy to prove to Alain Vigneault they could handle the assignment. They were unconvincing.

• One thing that only the in-house audience would have been able to enjoy: it was Kings Mascot Bailey's birthday (apparently), prompting a visit from a bunch of other mascots, including Stinger (the Blue Jackets' mascot), Slapshot the Eagle (the Capitals' mascot), and Fin. The mascots played a game of hockey against some peewees during the first intermission and a game of quidditch against USC students during the second. In both contests, Fin was a freaking beast. In the intermission hockey game, he went all-out, scoring the only goal for the Mascots, all the while throwing heavy shoulders and slewfooting the tots. In the quidditch match, he captured the golden snitch. His mastery of these mini-games only prompted crowd jeering, but Fin didn't seem to care. He was on top of the world.

• Thanks to Qris for filling in for us while we conquered the great expanse between Vancouver and Los Angeles. He'll be covering the Phoenix and San Jose games as well. Make him feel welcome.

• Surprise of the night: Manny Malhotra is the most boisterous dancer in the post-game celebration. That is not the same as saying he is the best dancer, of course. Everybody knows the kid in the orange shirt is the best dancer.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Blues, February 24, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Blues

I feel like we've been spouting this statistic a lot lately, but the Canucks still haven't lost two consecutive regulation games since November. I used to be impressed; now I'm just annoyed. I mean, they keep alternating wins and losses, forcing me to point to this statistic every second game. No more, friends. Here's a new stat: the Canucks haven't won two consecutive games in regulation since the beginning of this month. In short, the Canucks are probably sellers.

Okay, maybe not, especially not after a victory (he said, sounding a lot like a shortsighted NHL GM). I'm not a fan of the alternating wins and losses, but I'm a fan of the wins, and I quite enjoyed the effort the team put forth in order to get one last night. The Canucks had another solid response game, bouncing back from the loss to the Montreal Canadiens with a complete team effort versus the St. Louis Blues. Every line was effective, Cory Schneider played great in net, and the Canucks fended off a team in dire need of points to collect two of their own. Additionally (and most importantly), I watched this game:

• The Canucks' third line has been excellent since being reunited the last time the Canucks played the Blues on February 14. How appropriate that their chemistry would be rekindled on Valentine's Day (for inappropriate ways to build chemistry, see the Lonely Island). The third line has 11 points, combined, in their last six games, and has contributed 6 goals. For the slow-witted: that's a goal a game. If you can count on your third line for a goal each game, you'll probably do all right.

• I was impressed that John Garrett's Hockey Know How segment (often a strange segment in which Garrett seems oddly unacquainted with the clip he himself has selected), managed to actually inform me for once. He went over the game-winning goal (above), pointing out the way Torres's hit on Colaiacovo not only freed up the puck, but took his man away from the net and out of the play. In fact, Torres didn't even really hit him--he just moved him. There was more, though. Hansen picked up an assist on the goal in the only way he knows how: with a pokecheck. Gosh, Hansen loves to poke. If he ever commits a serious crime, we need to make sure the judge doesn't order him to do trash pickup for community service. He'd have way too much fun.

• Manny Malhotra scored the game-winner, which was a major windfall for him and his line, but I don't like the way people are talking as though he's finally contributing. Malhotra took 2 faceoffs in the offensive zone and 12 in the defensive zone. Vigneault doesn't put him on the ice to score.

• Raffi Torres had a game-high 5 hits, a couple impressive backchecks (2 takeaways), and zero baffling passes to nowhere. Kudos.

• I watched tonight's game with Cam Davie of Canucks Army, who is a quality dude. Just wanted to throw that out there.
  

• You want to talk Wizardous Sedinerie? How about Mikael Samuelsson's goal, which comes by way of some remarkable cycling by the Sedins in the corner. Seriously, they make the St. Louis defensemen look like the Washington Generals. The Sedins cycled so spectacularly nobody even noticed they were on motorcycles the whole time. And make no mistake: Tanev may have been sneaking in the backdoor, but that pass really was meant for Samuelsson. Only Henrik Sedin thinks of passing into someone's gut, but that's what he did.

• You might not have noticed, but Aaron Rome finished the game with less icetime than Keith Ballard. To quote Werner Herzog in Encounters at the End of the World, "Is this a great moment?" Yes it is. Ballard simply brings more to the table than Rome, and it appears that he's finally earning his coach's trust. Of course, Rome's reduced icetime might have to do with his play on the David Backes goal. Word of warning to amateur hockey players: never lazily sweep the puck to David Backes in the high slot. That's like giving a baby a loaded handgun. Worse, a baby with a history of assault with a firearm, like Maggie Simpson.
  

• Another reason for a reduction in Rome's icetime might have been the pairings: after Vigneault built himself a top four of Hamhuis with Ehrhoff and Ballard with Salo, Rome defaulted to the bottom pairing with low-minute man Chris Tanev. It definitely didn't take Hammy long to return to form. He played a game-high 23:53, finishing with four shots, two hits, and two blocks. He also acted as a steadying presence for Ehrhoff, from whom we've seen some jittery play lately. Meanwhile, Ballard and Salo were paired together, which made a lot of sense. Once everyone's healthy, this is likely the bottom pairing for the Canucks, so it's wise of Alain Vigneault to put them together right away.
  

• It was great to see Sami Salo score, too, especially in the vintage way they he did it. Nobody is better at shading in from the point for that exact one-timer, and it's nice to see this weapon return. Salo's shot remains a laser. Heck, it's not just any laser, either; it's a moonraker. Short of the golden gun, Sami Salo's shot is the best weapon in Goldeneye 64.

• Tanner Glass only played five minutes in this game, but he was granted third star honours for his play in that time, as he finished a goal short of the Gordie Howe hat trick. He did, however, pick up a Tanner Glass hat-trick, which is a goal, an assist, and bevy of Scrabble jokes from the broadcast team (the best one courtesy of Dan Murphy, postgame). His pass to Salo showed some great vision, and his fight with BJ Crombeen gave the Canucks some life early in the first period. That fight, by the way, came after Crombeen claimed, just prior to the faceoff, that MENSWEAR was two words.

• The Canucks did a great job of keeping Alex Steen, somehow the Blues' Canuck-killer, off the scoresheet. He finished a minus-1 and had 4 of his shots blocked, more than any other player. Think Vigneault talked to his guys about this? I do. Mind you, the Canucks were blocking shots all over the place. They blocked 17 shots overall, including 11 from their defense alone, and 7 from the Ballard/Salo pairing. It worries me to think of Sami Salo blocking a lot of shots, but now that his bones are mush, how much damage can it really do?

• Welcome Damien Cox to Sportsnet, everyone. and stop throwing things at your televisions, that's what he wants. And you, get down from there. Don't you dare kick that chair out from underneath you.

• Rough second period for the Canucks, but that'll happen. Look no further than the Blues' first period. I could have sworn the Blues got a defenseman back when they traded Erik Johnson, but it looked to me like one of their defense pairings was missing a guy for the first twenty minutes. Did anyone notice that the Blues gave up 17 shots and about seventy-six odd-man rushes?

• And finally, Mason Raymond played a very good game. No goals and he missed some chances, but he generated more, and had six shots on net. I haven't been happy with his play of late (and I suspect, neither has he), but I hope he stays with the team through the deadline. If he can continue to play like he did tonight, it wouldn't be worth the jolt to team chemistry to bring someone else in.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Ducks, February 09, 2011

Canucks 3 - 4 Ducks

It feels like it's been forever since we've watched the Canucks suffer a home regulation loss, and I'm a little uncertain of how to feel about it. At this point in the season, it's not unlike like being gored by a unicorn: sure, it's undesired, but it's so rare that you're kind of impressed. Only the fourth time this season the Canucks have skated away from a home game without a point, it's pretty hard to muster up the usual fan despair. Heck, the Red Wings lost too, so the only thing on which the Canucks missed out was stretching their nine-point Western Conference lead into an eleven-point lead. They were going to lose eventually, and despite the brush with inevitability, they remain in pretty good standing. I watched this game:

• Of course, for reasonable, like-minded people that are finding it difficult to freak out at this loss, we have the terrifying problem of Dan Hamhuis's addition to the list of broken Canucks. Hamhuis is the backbone of the Canucks' defense corps; without him, the Canucks defense is an invertebrate. Hit from behind by Ryan Getzlaf, Hamhuis briefly went unconscious, which is not ideal, because he wasn't getting his wisdom teeth removed. Of course, while he was in the dreamworld, because he's such a community-oriented guy, he helped a young girl rescue her brother from Jareth, King of the Goblins, but that's another story for another time.

• The hit wasn't dirty. For people looking to cast blame: there is none. In a high-speed sport, accidents happen. Ryan Getzlaf was finishing a check, a move for which all coaches would applaud him. Yes, he was briefly off his feet, but it looks to me like it was the contact with Hamhuis--not his innate wickedness--that caused him to catch air. Some say Hamhuis shouldn't have turned away, but let's get serious. Do these same people curse out their kneecap when it jumps at the tap of a doctor's tendon hammer? Bracing oneself for impact is a natural reflex of the body. I'm sure Dan Hamhuis, a professional hockey player, would be the first one to tell you not to turn like that, but in a split second, the body doesn't always cooperate with the mind. Let's just hope he's okay and move on. Getzlaf isn't a dirty player.

• What he is, however, is a remarkable player. His pass on the Ducks' third goal was dangerously close to Wizardous Sedinerie, as he cribbed a page from Henrik's book of spells (otherwise known as the Nyturan Demonta), perfectly executing a swiveling backpass to Bobby Ryan. Ryan impressed also, receiving and burying that pass entirely on the backhand. I've heard rumblings that the Canucks can't handle the Perry-Getzlaf-Ryan line and that this is some sort of fatal flaw, but who can? They're one of the best lines in hockey, and there's no shame when they burn you. Let's try to give credit when due. Getzlaf is a superstar, and in his first game back from injury, he made sure we knew it. That said, when you steal Henrik's book of spells, you free some pretty malevolent spirits, so Getzlaf should expect some Evil Dead-style demonic high jinks.

• Speaking of malevolent spirits, a theory about these sudden injury troubles: for years, Sami Salo has been possessed by an injury demon. It's decades-old; it once lived in Bobby Orr's knees. Anyway, while rehabbing the Achilles injury, Salo finally rid it from his body, but the demon remains in the bowels of Rogers Arena, jumping from defenceman to defenceman, looking for a suitable host. Someone call Max Von Sydow.

• Christian Ehrhoff had an ugly game, on the ice for three of Anaheim's four goals on the evening and, in each case, the guy caught behind the play. He wasn't always the one to blame, but not once was he the last man back, and that's concerning. His rush-jumpy tendencies may fly when burgeoning superstar Alex Edler is the watchman, but when it's Chris Tanev or Aaron Rome, you might want to stay a little closer to home. With the blueline decimated by injuries, now is not the time for Ehrhoffian defensive offensivity. It's the time for sound defensive play.

• Speaking of Chris Tanev, he continues to look wise beyond his years. Is he in sync with the Sedins already? In this game, he pulled off Kevin Bieksa's jump through the middle and a slap-pass from the point to Daniel. Neither resulted in a goal, but still, these are specialized set plays. Not since Neo learned kung-fu have I seen someone learn something so complicated so quickly. I think Tanev might be The One. He doesn't even see the game; he's sees phosphorescent lines of code.

• Alarming thought which is no longer as alarming as it once was: Kevin Bieksa is now the rock of our defense corps. #JuiceWillSaveUs

• Jannik Hansen's high-pitched monotone gets me every time. During an intermission interview with Kristin Reid, he coughed, and his pitch didn't change a bit. That is commitment.
  

• Lost in the loss was the fact that last night was a three-point night for Daniel Sedin. He had a goal and two assists, and his line looked great all night. He narrowly missed tying the game in the final seconds, too, if not for the puck making a Barry Sanders-level juke. Yes, Sedin was excellent. For folks complaining that the Ducks' top line was too much for the Canucks, need I remind you that this street goes both ways? The Sedins were on for exactly as many goals as Getzlaf's line. By the by, on Daniels's power play goal, Henrik might not have gotten an assist, but did you notice his sneaky trip on Todd Marchant? It wasn't a slewfoot; Henrik simply shades in behind him and plants his skate, and Marchant, skating backwards, trips over it. As a result, Daniel has a buttload (a Byfuglienian buttload, at that) of room.

• Alex Burrows now has 6 goals in his last 7 games, and I loved the way he scored this one. Henrik and Burr do this all the time, and it works surprisingly often. Henrik gets set up behind the net and he just waits there for something to open up. Eventually, one of the checkers gets impatient and lunges at Henrik, and Alex Burrows cuts to the crease, and Henrik gets him the puck. The way Corey Perry played is is the wrong way to play it. The correct defensive play is to wait for Henrik to fall asleep.
  

• Did you know the Canucks had 38 shots and attempted 73? It felt like they had about 20. I don't recall McElhinney making many incredible saves, either.

• Mason Raymond's act is wearing thin. I know he's been picking up points lately, but that seems more a result of his linemates than his individual play. Somebody remind him that skating quickly around the outside is for Clara Hughes. Is he aware that a team's defensive strategy against any offensive threat is to keep him doing exactly what he does willingly?

• Ryan Kesler had a good game, scoring a crucial goal late in the game, and winning 15-of-21 draws, but he had too many rushes end for him when he gave the puck to Raymond and wound up not getting it back. Kesler and Raymond had chemistry last season, but this year, they've gone in completely different directions. Often, Kesler's best stuff comes when he doesn't pass to Raymond, or when he's on with the Sedins. This doesn't bode well for Raymond. It makes him an expendable, tradeable asset. If he doesn't prove himself untouchable in a hurry, he's in danger of being sent to a worse team. He'd better pick it up in a hurry, or he'll find himself playing for a seller.

• Speaking of acts wearing thin, nobody breaks up a promising rush faster than Raffi Torres. Far too often, he's a baffling, downright bungling presence. Watching him skate on a line with Jannik Hansen is like watching inspectors Holmes and Clouseau try to solve a mystery together. One does all the right things, the other breaks vases and falls down staircases.

• And finally, I have never, ever in my life, seen two men chew gum with more ferocity than Mike Gillis and Alain Vigneault as they waited for Dan Hamhuis to get up.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Senators, February 07, 2011

Canucks 4 - 2 Senators

You'd have thought, from the tone of the media coverage leading up to this game, that Ottawa was coming in with a bag over their collective heads, while the Canucks had been spotted a guillotine, a French audience, and a death warrant personally signed by Maximilien Robespierre. From the outset, this one looked like a routine execution, the league's best team up against, arguably, the league's worst team. Of course, that's not how it went. Rather than crush the Senators like the Crushinator might have crushed them, the Canucks jumped out to an early lead, indicating a crushing, then nearly lost it with some sloppy play in the second. As a result, this one was a lot closer than anybody had expected, myself included. My official prediction was a Canuck victory by the score of 50 million billion to 1. I wound up being off by one goal. I watched this game:

• The big story was the play of the Canucks' second line of Raymond, Kesler, and Samuelsson, which appears to be coming to life like the denizens of Stephen King's Pet Sematery. They led the way last night, with 3 goals and 8 points between them. Kesler played the way he usually played, capable of giving straight men pause, and Raymond and Samuelsson finally looked like suitable linemates, using their respective speed and shootiness to great effect. The game-winning goal (above) was an excellent display of their reignited chemistry. Kesler fought the puck through the neutral zone before Raymond gained some room in the offensive zone with his speed. MayRay then fed it back to Kesler, who found Samuelsson in front. It was very cute, like Animaniac sister Dot.
  

• Also worth mentioning is that Kesler made that pass with Jannik Hansen's stick, given to him after his own lumber snapped in the neutral zone. I wondered what Hansen was thinking while Kesler was using it to dazzle. I suspect the following: 1) Why doesn't it do that when I'm holding it? and 2) Maybe now they'll finally let me join their study group.

• Not featured in this clip of the Kesler goal is the post he hit seconds prior. His shot really is something else. Not literally, of course--it remains a shot. Kesler has become a remarkable player. I'm downright salivating at the thought of what he could fetch us in a trade. I'm thinking a top-line, two-way, power forward center and a late draft pick.

• On the heels of being named one of the NHL's three stars for the week, Mikael Samuelsson potted another two goals. His empty-netter to seal the win was a reassertion that yes, he will shoot from anywhere (joke credit: @MFitz24). Thanks for reminding us, buddy, but next time, gain the red line. Samuelsson is like that member of the sniper team that picks off the bank robber right at the moment the cop on the inside is beginning to get through to the guy, and the audience is beginning to sympathize with him. Then bam! He's dead. Not in Mikael's bank!
  

• If you're not sure whether or not you're the squeamish sort, have a look at Keith Ballard's knee. Are you vomiting? You're squeamish. I've eaten licorice that wouldn't bend like that. Anyway, Ballard left the game with an undisclosed injury (early bet: knee) early in the first. The good news: this hardly disrupted Alain Vigneault's perma-gameplan of giving all Ballard's minutes to Aaron Rome.

• Rome then exacerbated the Canucks' lack of playable defencemen when he took 1140 seconds in penalties for fighting with Chris Neil, and I have to give a ton of credit to Neil on this one. When the Senators went down by two, Neil tried to start something with Rome, and Rome smartly declined. But here's the thing: the Canucks have been playing with the lead so much this season, they almost always decline, and Neil was the first one to force the issue. The first chance he got, he took a run at Henrik Sedin. For those complaining it was in any way dirty (I'm looking at you, Garry "I only own paisley ties" Valk), it looked nearly identical to every Raffi Torres hit. It was fine. And, it necessitated a response, which was the point. Then, Neil smartly looked off Daniel Sedin, who was first on the scene for some reason (and took a Burrows-esque stab at Neil's genitals) before pummeling Aaron Rome. That is how you get what you want. The fact that it put the Canucks down to 4 defenseman for much of the entire second period (during which Ottawa scored twice) was a bonus. You may hate Chris Neil, but his was an absolutely perfect piece of agitation.

• It's a small beef, but let's talk about Aaron Rome's delay of game penalty: really? Rome was lying on his belly when he swept the puck away. Can he really be blamed for the fact that it took off like a hornuss? I say no. If the Bible's creation story has taught us anything, it's that, once on its belly, a creature goes from treacherous to harmless pretty quickly. How can the referees not read this situation? In the third period, Roberto Luongo briefly lost his stick. Had it met the puck in the corner, would he have received a delay of game penalty too? The order to call this penalty by the letter of the law has only made the referees look like fools. In a parallel universe, they're the guys ticketing motorists for turning right at a red light.

• Andrew Alberts probably wasn't expecting to play 17:10 (that's Aaron Rome icetime) last night, but he was pretty great in his first game back in the lineup. Alberts used his body to great effect (like Willa Ford), finishing with a game-high seven hits, two blocked shots, and a plus-2.

• When Alex Burrows is playing with confidence, he becomes more than a Sedin linemate--he's his own weapon. On his goal, he looks off Daniel Sedin to take the puck to the net himself. The power move completely surprises Chris Phillips, who cuts behind the goal, thinking he's going to shrewdly take the puck away. Instead, Burrows finds himself alone in front, and shows a great bit of patience to put it past Elliott. There was an article in the Province only yesterday about Burrows working with Glenn Carnegie to take that extra second with the puck after missing four open chances versus Chicago. The extra work appears to have paid off instantly.

• How about that 3-on-0 rush the Senators got? Granted, it doesn't happen if the puck doesn't jump over Daniel Sedin's stick, but the rest of the team picked a poor time to have a tea party at the bench. I was surprised Luongo was even in the net.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis was the big-minute guy, logging over 30 minutes in the absence of Ballard and Rome. He's such a good guy he didn't mind the extra work. He had plenty of energy left over, too. During the intermission, he freed Tibet.

• I always wonder about the player that serves the bench minors. Is he aware he's in there because he's the least important? Coach says I'm the best at breakaways, that's why I'm in here.
  

• And finally, you had to feel bad for the snake-bitten Senators, who hit three posts in about a two-minute span when a goal would have tied the game. Not since the cast of Canada's Worst Driver has a group hit so many consecutive posts.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Predators, January 26, 2011

Canucks 2 - 1 Predators

With a win versus Nashville last night, the Canucks go into All-Star weekend having collected at least one point in 27 of their last 30 games. Yes, that's the stat Don Taylor reported postgame on Sportsnet Connected, and I want to take a moment to marvel at it. Consider that this stat--this very positive stat--incorporates the points from the amazing mini-slump that now seems so long ago, and ignores the fact those games were eventually lost. Remember when they were cause for concern? Now they're just part of an extremely positive stat. You'd think the Canucks had been rolling, uninterrupted, for months.

It's incredible to me what shootouts and overtime points do to perception. A four-game losing streak can be a four-game point streak at the same time. Typically, only one side is reported, and the fires of the fanbase are stoked by a few well-placed omissions. It's silly, and maybe a little dishonest, too. Well, I'm here to tell you that, if we at PITB stand for anything, it's hardcore honesty. For example: truth be told, I watched this game:

• Roberto Luongo was rightly named the game's first star tonight. He made 26 saves, several of the category spectacular, and one of the category wowie zowie. For those that have forgotten the transformative power of new goaltending coach Rollie Melanson, consider how deep Luongo is in his crease for the Joel Ward kick save. Last year, that gets past Funny Bob before he has time to react. In fact, there were a few tonight that might have. Instead, Luongo was in the right place at the right time all night (except on the goal against, when he accidentally went swimming at a nearby leisure center).
  

• Jeff Paterson is absolutely correct, too. You hear a lot about Luongo when he plays badly, and very little when he plays well. This speaks to how expectations warp our satisfaction. The moral of the story? Never try. Keep expectations low and you're more likely to impress.

• Of course, the real question about Luongo isn't whether or not he's going to stellar. It's whether or not he's going to come out and give away his goalie stick. After singlehandedly keeping his team in the game, he owes us that much. If you'll recall, he skipped the last two star twirls to be privately upset, but he made up for it tonight, giving away three goalie sticks. Why not four, I say? Why couldn't he make it seven? I think Luongo should give away a Sportchek.

• Your game-winning goal scorer? Lee Sweatt, the defensive call-up so comically undertall that teammates were chanting "Rudy! Rudy!" as he was suiting up. Frankly, though, after scoring on his first shot in his first NHL game, Lucky might have been a better moniker. Brad Lukowich and Wade Brookbank can attest to being the fortunate son that gets to receive a pass from the Sedins, too, especially one as pretty as Daniel's. Give Sweatt credit for the shot, though. He couldn't have picked a better spot. Into the net is always the best spot to pick. I also loved his goal celebration. What's the old saying? Act like you've been there before. Lady Gaga is jealous of that poker face. James Bond, too. Sweatt played a grand total of 8:49 in this game. In that time, he was on the ice for both Canucks goals and none against. He was bouncing off checks a little bit, but that's to be expected. You can't expect a much better effort in a guy's first NHL game.

• That said, sometimes it's a bit of a shame that scoring the game-winner automatically means a three star selection. Sweatt was in the right place at the right time, but he definitely didn't have a better overall game than Alex Burrows. Burrows scored the crucial game-tying goal with a tip and a rebound, nearly identical to the game-winner he scored in San Jose at the beginning of the month. Furthermore, while he didn't get an assist on the game-winner, that was him causing the turnover to Daniel Sedin when he knocked Joel Ward off the puck.

• Plus, Burrows was the star of the night's most hilarious story: his ongoing battle to get into Shane O'Brien kitchen. O'Brien had a game-high seven hits tonight, and I'm pretty sure six and a half were on Burrows. The camera crew caught them chirping back and forth all night, and they were having a whale of a time doing it. Burrows: f*** you, Shane! Ha ha, but seriously, can I get a ride home? In the night's finest moment, Shane O'Brien dragged Burrows to the ice, then trampled him a little for sport. Burrows went for his instinctual shot to the groin, but upon remembering he and Shane O'Brien were pals, he relented, giving SOB's jollies a kindly pat instead. Graeme Horton snapped a pic. Kudos to Burrows for being considerate enough to remember there's a lot less to do at the Roxy when your testicles are bruised.

• That said, Burrows missed an empty net in the game's final minute. Unacceptable. Do we really want him?
  

• With an assist on the Lee Sweatt goal, Daniel Sedin is now three points up on his brother for the team scoring lead. Out for blood. Even Beatrix Kiddo is alarmed at his need for retribution.

• Get this: Keith Ballard led the Canucks in icetime. It's true. Ballard was on the ice for a team-high 23:53. How did this happen? Originally, he remained paired with Tanev and seemed again headed for bottom-pairing minutes, but Christian Ehrhoff (who Vigneault played for over nine minutes in the first and clearly wanted to ride), was running around like crazy. It was a tad irresponsible; there were shifts where it looked like Ehrhoff though he was playing right wing, and you can't do that when you're paired with a guy playing his first NHL game. I don't think Vigneault was comfortable with Sweatt as the lone man back when Ehrhoff jumped, so Ballard was reassigned to keep an eye on things. That's right. Between his initial pairing with Tanev and his new job keeping Ehrhoff honest, Keith Ballard has become this team's babysitter. He's the Canucks' answer to Rosalyn.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis also stepped in to fill a need, as he often does. He had some first unit powerplay time, he attempted a game-high 9 shots, and he played a team-high 30 shifts. He also had 2 hits, two takeaways, and 3 blocked shots. As usual, you hardly noticed anything he did. Two of his shifts were at the nearby children's hospital.

• Give the Canucks credit for winning da turd tonight. After allowing an early goal, they took over the final frame. They had discipline: after 3 penalties in first and 2 in the second, the team avoided taking any penalties in the third. They applied pressure, outshooting the Predators 17 to 7. In fact, after being outshot 12-4 in first, the Canucks responded well by outshooting Nashville 31-15 through the rest of the game.

• That's even more impressive when you consider Nashville blocked 19 shots tonight. Give them credit, but make sure you give a ton to Shane O'Brien, who gives his teammates shot-blocking practice at nightclubs: Shane, I think you've had enough.

• Chris Tanev played 11:26 tonight, including 1:47 of shorthanded time on ice. He has earned Vigneault's trust remarkably quickly. Good for him. Let's hope he doesn't make like M. Night Shyamalan and coast on that early goodwill until it becomes apparent we'll have to kill him to get rid of him.
  

• And finally: you've gotta feel bad for the Nashville line of Jarred Smithson, Nick Spaling, and Joel Ward. They were on the ice for both Canuck goals, and they came on back-to-back shifts. Impressively, they got two more after that, and more impressively, they didn't give up goals during either of them.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Stars, January 24, 2011

Canucks 7 - 1 Stars

Friends, Romans, countrymen, I ask you, humbly, what is the cure for an offensive slump? Don't answer; this is a rhetorical question. The solution, as everybody knows, is an opponent with porous goaltending and crap defense. It's a fairly simple remedy, but the real trick is finding a major league team willing to provide it. Short of scheduling a shinny with the Washington Generals or the South Park Peewee Team, you can only hope that some NHL club is going to fly into town and generously lay an egg. Lucky for Canucks fans, that's about what happened in tonight's game which, by the way, I watched:

• What a welcome return to form for the home team. The Canucks played with the energy and pace they'd hinted at during the Calgary game and then some. We also saw a recommitment to limiting shots against (only 26 for a high-scoring Dallas team), and a renewed offensive potency (7 goals, y'all). They played much better than they have in quite awhile, more in keeping with the level of which we know they're capable. Still, before we get ahead of ourselves, it wasn't only a return to form that caused tonight's result; Dallas also played sloppier than a loose meat sandwich. What we saw was the Canucks' get better and the Stars come apart at the same time, and this beautiful coincidence resulted in a nasty shellacking.

• A number of slumps were bumped tonight, but none more important than the goals scored by both of Ryan Kesler's wingers. Mikael Samuelsson's was an especially nice wrist shot. Word is he broke his goal-scoring slump by imagining a logo in the top corner of the net, then hitting it dead center. Perhaps more impressive than the goal, however, were his game-high five shots, equal to how the number of shots he attempted. None were blocked, and none missed.

• I'm not sure if Mason Raymond's goal will stay his. The scorekeepers seemed so eager to declare another slump busted that they seemed to give it to him just because he was near it. Looks like Edler blasted it clean through to me; Raymond might be more deserving of a takeaway for stealing credit. But I won't quibble over whether or not it's his; I'm not Maury Povich. Let's just hope it's the first of many.

• Speaking of blasting pucks, let's take a moment to celebrate the long-awaited emergence of Alex Edler's deadly slapper. He had two assists tonight, both on redirected slapshots (the aforementioned, from Raymond, and one from Kesler to take a 2-1 lead). Christian Ehrhoff also had a goal on one that got clean through. Ehrhoff's been the member of this pairing most willing to shoot this season, which has always seemed silly to me. Edler's got the hardest shot on the team. Now, they're both shooting regularly, and it's made them a lethal tandem on the blue line, with 12 points in the last six games. Letting them fire away seems like a wise move, especially after they broke the power play's two-game mini slump by these very means.

• Aaron Volpatti had a strong game tonight, and it's possible that you hardly noticed. First there was a solid hit on Tom Wandell behind the Stars' net. Then, Krys Barch tried to respond by drawing Volpatti into a fight, but Volpatti was smart enough to realize it wasn't the right time. Instead, he responded by shouting, "F*** you, Barch!" loud enough for the cameras to clearly pick it up.

• Later, Volpatti assisted on the Henrik Sedin 5-1 backbreaker halfway into the 2nd, skating well and centering a puck that would go in off Steve Ott's boot after a touch from Henrik. If the assist wasn't enough, Volpatti then "accidentally" tripped over Ott as he circled the net to celebrate the goal. It was a smart, sneaky play, and don't be surprised that Volpatti's a sneak; everybody knows Ivy Leaguers are shifty. I mean, they steal entire social networks from one another.

• If you're wondering why Henrik Sedin already has a mind-boggling 50 assists on the season, look no further than his puck movement on the power play. Watch him on either power play goal. On Kesler's goal, he draws three defenders to him with a simply head fake before making a brilliant saucer pass to Edler for a one-timer. On Ehrhoff's goal, it's much a simpler feed, but this time Henrik uses a head fake to back his defender off. Opponents are so terrified he's going to pass, you'd think they were auditioning for American Idol.

• The perennially out for blood Daniel Sedin is now 4 points back of the NHL scoring lead. Earlier today, Elliotte Friedman suggested he might get picked last in the NHL All-Star draft. If that happens, I suspect he'll coolly walk to the podium and shoot his captain in the chest, like Boomer on Battlestar Galactica.

• Andrew Raycroft's mask is as sparkly as a preteen girl's binder. Or a preteen girl's idea of a vampire.

• How to make a player lose his mind: eye gouge him in a scrum. Just like the Rypien incident, you can clearly see Burish raging, "he was eye gouging me," after the referees finally pull Burrows and him apart. Not to go all "Ron Maclean" on you guys, but, considering Burr's reputation, he's probably guilty here. That's a finger to the peeper and a stick to the peepee in the last two weeks. He needs to be careful he doesn't get a reputation as a dirty(er) player.

• If he's not careful, he'll undo all the goodwill the Zen Canucks have built up towards officials this season. Seriously, the Canucks successfully argued for a call to be overturned tonight. When the last time that's ever happened? I think we're more used to the "On second thought, the Canucks lose" type of calls. Especially recently.

• Dan Hamhuis dropped his gloves tonight. Dan. Hamhuis. What could Mike Ribiero have possibly said or done to make Hammy drop the mitts? Ribieiro: Frankly, I don't think Haiti deserves our relief. And the children can read to themselves. Hamhuis: I'll kill you!

• Congratulations to Chris Tanev, who picked up his first career point, an assist on Hamhuis's goal, the seventh and final goal of the evening. Tanev showed impressive poise tonight, finishing a plus-one with two blocked shots in just over sixteen minutes of icetime. Granted, everyone (in blue) looked good tonight, but Tanev is beginning to look like he might belong in the NHL, which is more than I can say for tonight's opponent.

• All credit to Tanner Glass, who spent some time tonight as the fourth-line center, and some time as the third-line winger. When he earned third line icetime last season, it was more an indictment of the Canucks' lack of forward depth. This season, however, he's been so defensively responsible and so smart with the puck that he's earned every extra minute he's been given, and I'm happy to eat crow when it comes to his stints in the top nine. I'm still not sold on his scoring ability, but I think, when your third line hasn't scored in ten games or more, Tanner Glass certainly can't make you offensively less potent.

• Kevin Bieksa's eye doesn't look too bad... if he's planning a trip to McDonaldland. His face is so purple he could pass for The Grimace. Speaking of passing, Bieksa did take advantage of the distinguishable mark for some brilliant duplicity. Rather than serve a second period penalty, he traded places with a wax #statueofbieksa (hashtag credit: @RE4713), and nobody noticed because, like the real Bieksa, the replica had a black eye.

• The Canucks dominated the faceoff circle tonight, winning 40 of 65 draws. All four centres finished over 50%, with even Glass winning 4-of-7. He's won 17 of 31 on the season now, which is pretty impressive, considering he was 3-for-18 last season. He's developing this skill really quickly.

• This is the second consecutive game versus the Canucks where the Stars have lost their composure, and you have to consider their sources of leadership. First, Marc Crawford's teams have never been known for being particularly mentally tough (and Crow's never been good at knowing when to pull his goalie, either). Second, Brendan Morrow's captaincy might be a good cautionary tale for those who think Kesler should have gotten the "C" in Vancouver. Like Kesler, Morrow plays an intense, gritty game that's a nice example when he's focused, but he has a tendency to get overemotional and lose focus. When he does, the team follows him. He's simply not a calming force.

• Henrik Sedin, on the other hand, knows how to channel his emotions. He digs so deep, you might say he chunnels his emotions. He was solely to blame on Dallas's only goal, but rather than beat himself up about it, he simply upped his resolve. He looked downright determined to atone for the remainder of the period. Then he did. Not since the award-winning film based on the novel Atonement have I seen such atonement.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Sharks, January 20, 2010

Canucks 1 - 2 Sharks

Before we go any further, a brief dissertation on the first game back from a road trip: we saw, in The Game That Shall Not Be Named, and in the wise words of the team's sleep doctor, that the first game back from a road trip often yields a team at the peak of their exhaustion. In fact, while some expect the game to be renewed with energy, the game is usually more an extension of the trip that just ended than the first game after it. Take a look at the Canucks' schedule after their last five-game road trip: after petering out on the road, they came back and dropped games on back-to-back nights versus Chicago and Phoenix. That's because they had yet to have any home rest. Then, when they finally got it, they recuperated and began the jaw-dropping streak that is only now coming to an end.

All of this is to say that the team we saw last night could have played much, much worse, and we can reasonably expect the team that shows up Saturday night to be much, much better (and I'm sure it won't hurt that they're playing Calgary). Anyway, I watched this game:

• I should say I'm not offering this as an excuse; I'm simply making the point that the Canucks deserve more credit for taking points from their last two games than they're getting. That's what you have to do in the current NHL--get points when you're outplayed. The Canucks have done it twice in a row and it deserves, at the very least, a golf clap.
  

• In the last game, I said that, while the Canucks were playing without rest, Roberto Luongo had seen plenty of it. Superstar goalie that he is, he needed to bail out his sleepy team. If you recall, in Denver, he didn't, but last night he did. While the Canucks were a little sounder defensively, they were still giving up shots all over the place: 46 in total, 25 of those in the second period alone. Thankfully, Roberto Luongo stopped all but one, and without his strong play, the Canucks don't get this one to overtime. He made some stellar saves, too, like getting the cheater of his glove on Joe Thornton's breakaway wrister. His rebound control was excellent as well--he was smothering the puck all night. Not since Othello killed Desdemona in her bed have I seen such thorough smothering.

• The funny thing about the shot count is that it didn't tell the whole story. San Jose had most of the shots in the second period, but they really didn't dominate the way it appears they did on the stat sheet. The Sedins had a litany of extended shifts in the offensive zone that didn't always yield shots, but did a good job of stalling San Jose's attack for long stretches.
  

• Man, were the Sedins good. While they only produced one goal on the night (the pretty one, above), they lived inside San Jose's blue line most of the evening. They had a ton of chances and a ton of shots. Line you thought you'd never hear: Henrik Sedin had a game-high seven shots. In fact, he and Daniel combined for 13, over a third of Vancouver's shot total. Tony Gallagher often complains that the Sedins regularly put up two points apiece but don't play consistently dominant games. Last evening, they did the opposite. You just got served, Tony.

• Alex Burrows had a decent game too, but the poor guy was thoroughly manhandled every time he went to the net. I didn't think you could do that. Apparently you can.

• The shootout remains a stupid way to decide a hockey game. May I suggest, instead, two mouse traps and one mouse.
  

• So it turns out those moronic bits where John Garrett talks about snack foods he likes are planned. During a stoppage in play, Dan Murphy introduced the featured product of the night: Quaker Crispy Minis. This was followed by about seven seconds of dead air, as John Shorthouse waited for Garrett to say how much he likes to eat them. Instead, Garrett briefly forgot he existed, and Shorty had to prompt him. I've long felt Garrett watches the games from behind a sleep mask, but in this case, he was genuinely asleep on the job.
  

• I was briefly puzzled by Sergei Shirokov's third-period benching, but on second glance, it makes sense. First, Shirokov was playing overly flashy--twice he cut to the inside of the ice instead of putting a shot on goal with traffic heading to the net, and both times waited too long and wound up accomplishing nothing. Second, he wasn't winning his puck battles. Until Vigneault reunited Raymond, Kesler, and Samuelsson, the second line wasn't getting any sustained offensive pressure at all, and much of that had to do with Shirokov's play. He's still good, though. Hopefully he remains with the team and adjusts his play accordingly.

• Speaking of Samuelsson, it was nice to see Angry Samuelsson return. While fighting for a puck along the boards, he took a check from Jason Demers, and rather than not taking a stupid retaliatory penalty, he turned around and punched Demers in the head. Way to go. But, as detrimental as Angry Samuelsson can be sometimes, he plays better when he's like this, so this might be a good sign.

• With another subpar night in the faceoff circle, it's clear that Ryan Kesler's thumb is still bothering him. He's not Wolverine (as far as I know), so he might need rest or treatment or something. I'm concerned that eventually it's going to turn completely blue like the band in that Daft Punk movie, then fall off. You need your thumb to flip coins. How will Kesler ever decide between two things?
  

• Dan Hamhuis had a fabulous game with an assist to go with four blocked shots and three takeaways. You don't always notice him, but he always seems to be in the right place. This is excepting that one shift where he led a botched rush and found himself two zones away from Joe Thornton's breakaway. I haven't seen a guy this out of position since my wedding night. I did a lot of guessing.
  

• Tanner Glass fought Jamal Mayers, whose name, if slightly mispronounced, rhymes with bears. Coincidence? No. There's no connection whatsoever.
  

• Christian Ehrhoff had four blocked shots and an assist. Unfortunately, the goal on which he assisted was scored by Logan Couture. You can't make a play like that in front of the best player on the Sharks, or you'll get burned. But cut Ehrhoff some slack--I'm sure, like most of us, he couldn't believe that, on a team with four Olympians, rookie Logan Couture is their best player. It's not a good thing.

• Had the Vancouver power play been as effective last night as it was on Tuesday, the Canucks might have won this game going away. Unfortunately, it was drier than Stephen Lynch and not nearly as enjoyable to watch. They went 0-for-5 on the night, including an overtime 4-on-3 that probably should have been automatic.
  

• And finally (and most importantly), it was good to see Kyle Wellwood back, and you can tell that he's ecstatic. He was smiling from ear to ear all night. We love Welly here at PITB, so this meant we were smiling from ear to ear all night. Seriously, I smiled so hard my hair parted like the grinch, which is impressive, because I'm bald.

Ask it to Bulis: The Greatest Canucks' Moustache & Other Inquiries

Ask it to Bulis is a regular feature wherein casual readers and hardcore Bulies alike can put their questions to two guys no more qualified to answer than they are. Harrison and Daniel preside:


Greatest Canucks' mustache: Babych or Snepsts? -- @staticotaku

H: Tough first question. I'm gonna go with Snepsts, and for totally subjective reasons. It was a slightly fuller, more unkempt mustache that covered a little more area. And because of its downward curvature, he looks the most like Mr. Johnson, the beleaguered blue Muppet who constantly makes the mistake of eating at Charlie's Restaurant, where Waiter Grover works. I have so much sympathy for Mr. Johnson, as there were clearly no other restaurants in Sesame Street (like the Red Robin in Maple Ridge), I can't help but love Harold Snepsts.

D: I have to disagree. Babych has the classier, more kempt moustache. It was big and bushy, but under control. Snepsts has a classic 'stache, but it's just a little too out-of-control for my tastes. There's a reason Babych is #7 on this list of top ten 'staches in all of sports and Snepsts doesn't even warrant a mention.

H: Because MSN.com has the last word on this, apparently.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Stars, December 31, 2010

Canucks 4 - 1 Stars

The Canucks closed out 2010 the same way they opened it: with a win over the Dallas Stars, but don't let the 4-1 score fool you into thinking this was just another rout of a good team. Vancouver outscored Dallas, but that's about the only stat category they won. Thankfully, it's the only one that matters after sixty minutes, but they were lucky to escape Dallas with a victory. I've been skeptical of the Stars, especially after hearing about their astronomical shooting percentages and their litany of one-goal wins and overtime points. Ignore the cynics: Dallas is good.

The Stars have evolved into the prototypical Marc Crawford team. At their best: highly-skilled, offensively strong, and gritty. At their worst: unpoised, defensively suspect, and undisciplined. After living through Vancouver's ultimately failed Marc Crawford era, it was great to see his team have its weaknesses exposed by a smarter team without it meaning a Canucks loss. I watched this game, and it was cathartic:

• There are two ways to look at the massively lopsided shot totals: You could say, with forty-five shots to Vancouver's 22, Dallas outshot the Canucks by a margin of 2 to 1. Or, you could say, with 44 saves to Kari Lehtonen's 10 or Andrew Raycroft's 8, Cory Schneider outsaved both Dallas goaltenders by a margin of 4 to 1. I choose the latter.

• Yes, Cory Schneider was incredible tonight. He had a bit of luck and Dallas hit a couple of posts, and he got himself into a bit of trouble (including the lone goal against) with his indecision with the puck, but he was still incredible. His lateral movement was as strong as I've ever seen, he was square with the shooter every time, his rebound control was sound, and he was strong along the ice. If the Canucks are hoping to showcase this kid for an eventual trade, I'd save tape of this game. He soundly outplayed two NHL goaltenders and was rightly named the game's first star.

• My only quibble with Schneider: his nickname. In the blogosphere, folks are calling him Ginger Jesus. I don't like it. I've been wracking my brain for a better nickname, but the only redheaded goalie I remember is Archie Andrews, who played goal for Riverdale High in many a strip. (In a classic, Betty & Veronica go to see him play, not knowing he's the goalie, and when they can't find him--due to the mask he's wearing and because they're dumb girls--they leave.) Anyway, Archie's nemesis Reggie often called him Frecklesnoot. Let's go with that.

• As the calendar year ends, it was nice of Marc Crawford to remind us that one thing will never change: he will always, always have the worst hair in hockey. He looks like he killed a hedgehog and glued it to his scalp. Someone needs to find the stylist who keeps dying only the top and not the sides of his hair, then gingerly feathering it, then slicking it back, and convince them to pick a new career.

• It's no surprise that Alain Vigneault's shut down pairing munched the big minutes against an offensive machine like Dallas. Bieksa and Hamhuis skated for over twenty-three minutes each. In that time, Hamhuis had 1 assist, 3 shots, 3 blocks (including one that surely saved a goal), and 2 hits; Bieksa scored a goal and added an assist to go with 2 blocks, a hit and a takeaway. The pair was shaky at times (Hamhuis had 3 giveaways), but the Canucks don't win without their contributions.

• It was a rare rough night in the faceoff circle, as the Canucks lost 35 of 58 draws, and only Ryan Kesler finished at 50%. Henrik Sedin, who really is hot or cold in the faceoff circle, was colder than supercooled beer, at a frosty 3-for-12, including 0-for-6 in the defensive zone. If you're wondering why you hardly noticed the Sedins at even stength, it's because they spent the whole game scrambling to get the puck out of their zone after Henrik lost the draw.

• I heard Grumpy Old Man Gallagher on the Team 1040 today complaining about the Sedins, as he often does. He grumbled that Henrik and Daniel are points machines, even when they don't play particularly well. He was probably pulling his hair out tonight when the Sedins did exactly that, by putting up a goal and an assist each while playing badly, for the most part. Somebody needs to remind him that points are awarded when your team scores goals, and the team with the most goals wins hockey games.

• That said, the Sedins helped Vancouver put this one away early by engineering two very similar power play goals (one above, the other here). Along with Torres's solo rush, they came suddenly, and were major momentum killers. On the opening goal, Henrik whiffs on the pass, but Karlas Skrastins is so busy fighting with Ryan Kesler he doesn't even see the puck until it trickles to Daniel. Vancouver's power play went 3-for-6 tonight.
  

• Poor Kesler. Though his work in front of the net on the two power play goals might have deserved an assist, he didn't get one. His streak came to an end tonight, but that's why they call it a streak: because, eventually, it stops. A streak that never stops is called a nudist colony.

• Kesler will have to settle for the other streak of which he's a major part: Vancouver's 4-game win streak, which sees them finish 2010 with an NHL-best .708 win percentage.

• In typical Raffi Torres fashion, he had a so-so night, but scored a goal on a sudden burst of skill against the flow of the play. He fought off a can opener from Karlas Skrastins and deked out Kari Lehtonen forty-seven seconds after the Canucks had opened the scoring.

• Brad Richards had a message for the homers saying Kesler is the best player in the Western Conference. Something along the lines of: I am also good. He had 6 shots tonight, with another 5 missing the net and another 5 blocked. He looked dangerous every time he was on the ice, which was quite often. He played 23:41, more than any Canuck player, save Kevin Bieksa.

• Keith Ballard had a strong game, finishing with 4 hits and 2 blocked shots. He had a respectable 16:29 of ice time, but consider the Canucks were up 4-0 going into the third. Vigneault also gave nearly ten minutes to the fourth line. Tanner Glass had 11:04.

• Awesome Glass moment: after Jeff Woywitka horse-collared Alex Bolduc, Tanner Glass was the first man into the scrum, and can be seen quietly wailing on Woywitka before becoming lost in the mess of bodies.

• What, exactly, was Jannik Hansen doing tonight that was making the Stars so mad? Stephane Robidas gave him two gloved punches with no regard for the penalty he was about to take. I can't imagine Hansen chirping. He's got the highest voice on the team. It's like getting chirped by Kristen Schaal.

• And finally, PITB would like to wish every Bulie from here to Australia a happy new year.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Red Wings, December 22, 2010

Canucks 4 - Red Wings 5 (OT)

The Canucks and Red Wings have met twice this season, and both games have been among the most entertaining of the year. We at PITB often talk about the way Canucks fans view their team's games through a vaccuum; we disregard the play of the other team and blame everything, positive and negative, on Vancouver. But that's impossible to do when the Canucks play the Red Wings because it's so unmistakably clear you're watching an elite team. No hockey club in the NHL moves the puck like the Red Wings and few forecheck like they do. Each moment a red jersey isn't within two feet of the puck, it's a minor miracle. When they play the way they did last night, frankly, it's a wonder they ever lose.

That said, the Canucks had a chance to take this one. They led by a goal going into the third period, but unfortunately, a couple bad goals by Roberto Luongo took victory from their hands. It was frustrating. I watched this game:

• Roberto Luongo is being ripped apart by the fans and media, especially by his diehard haters, but let's try to remember something else: Detroit had 45 shots. Luongo was actually excellent most of the game; unfortunately, Henrik Zetterberg beat him on two goals that looked like they should never have gone in. And, when one was the game-tying goal and the other the game-winner, it's probably fair to pile on the flack (even if the second doesn't happen if Ehrhoff just gets the freaking puck out). Still, realize that the Red Wings' shots were typically of a higher quality than Vancouver's (including the game-winner, which was, contrary to popular opinion, a great shot), and Luongo should be credited for keeping his team in it. So, while Lou's gaffes may have cost us the two points, his overall play earned us one.

• The Canucks' power play broke out of its slump in a big way, going 2-for-3 and drastically changing momentum each time it hit the ice. For the first two periods, the Red Wings were controlling the run of the play the majority of the time, but when they took a penalty, Vancouver made them pay, got back into the game, and slowed their dominance for a stretch. The puck movement on the power play was brilliant, as was the down low-work by Ryan Kesler, who got two power play assists on nearly identical plays. Kesler also had a game-high 6 hits to go with his 3 assists.

• Jeff Tambellini's goal came on a seeing-eye wrist shot (above) that, upon review, defies physical laws. What a laser. Tamby had a game-high six shots to go with three hits and two blocked shots, and his defensive prowess continues to impress. He's become a very complete player in a very short period of time. Not since we discovered my younger brother's prodigous Ikea-building ability have I seen someone put it all together so quickly.

• I thought Brian Rafalski, Todd Bertuzzi, and Dan Cleary were phenomenal. Unfortunately, they play for the Red Wings.

• In the faceoff circle, Kesler and Malhotra continued their dominance, with 14-for-21 and 12-for-20 showings, respectively. Henrik Sedin had a rough night, however, going 8-for-21, including a brutal 3-for-10 in the offensive zone. Personally, I thought the Sedins only had an iffy game, and I'll tell you that a couple more offensive zone possessions wouldn't have hurt. Alex Burrows was lifted from their line from Mikael Samuelsson for a handful of shifts in the third period, but he wasn't the problem; it was that the line was consistently starting without the puck on offensive zone starts.

• Pavel Datsyuk was looking dangerous in this game until he broke his hand.

• It was nice to see Mikael Samuelsson score, if for no other reason that it will remind fans that he can. His seventh goal of the season was a big-time go-ahead goal on one of his patented wrist shots while Raffi Torres streaked to the net as a screen. While it broke a 9-game goalless drought, Samuelsson's stats haven't actually been too bad this season. He's fourth on the team in scoring with 22 points. I keep hearing about Sammy's disappointing season, but the numbers indicate something else. And numbers don't lie.

• Sometimes, when Samuelsson plays against the Red Wings, you can see how he used to be a part of this remarkable puck moving machine. Like Seven of Nine in Star Trek: Voyager, he retains many traits of the Borg.

• As frustrated as you are, keep in mind that the Canucks really elevated their level of play to stay in this game. Detroit allows an average of 29 shots per game, and the Canucks put 39 on Jimmy Howard. That's a lot of shots. Add that to the Red Wings' 45 shots and both goaltenders must have known exactly how Sonny Corleone felt in the Godfather.

• I'm wondering if Aaron Volpatti's quiet play is the result of the game being too fast for him. He's supposedly a big hitter, but we haven't seen it, and while I'm fairly certain the Canucks have asked him to pick his spots, you think he'd have picked one by now.

• And finally, Dan Hamhuis was the big minute guy tonight, finishing with a game-high 25:23. I thought he played a fabulous game, keeping forwards to the outside, moving the puck out of the zone quickly, and making big hits along the boards. Clearly, Vigneault thought similarly, as Hammy had a whole three minutes more ice time than Alex Edler. The guy who really saw his minutes reduced, however, was Keith Ballard. He's been knocked back down to 14 and a half minutes.

Dan Hamhuis Brings the Zowie, Douglas Murray Brings the Zoinks

Apparently unaware that Keith "Hips" Ballard is the guy who hipchecks, Dan Hamhuis gets hip on Douglas Murray. There's little to say to this but, uh, that's pretty neat. I love a good hipcheck. How can you not love it? I think it's safe to say the only guy who didn't enjoy this hit was this guy.

You thought I meant Douglas Murray, right? Wrong. Murray probably totally enjoyed that. People love flying through the air, hence the invention of the airplane.

Question for the Bulies: we've seen Andrew Alberts level Pavel Datsyuk and Keith Ballard lay a pretty nice hipcheck on Evgeni Malkin, but is this the best hit by a Canuck this season?

Canucks Participating in Movember

We are now over a week into Movember, and my moustache is looking incredibly sad. Harrison and I are both participating in Movember, the annual event wherein men attempt to grow moustaches to bring attention to prostate cancer and raise money for cancer research. It's a fantastic cause and we encourage you to donate on the Movember website or, if you want to contribute to one of the many teams raising money for Movember, I recommend Houses of the Hockey. Harrison and I have been reluctant to post pictures of our own moustaches as they are less than impressive. I'm working with a less-greasy Dan Carcillo while Harrison has a bit of a black Sidney Crosby.

The NHL has a long history of great moustaches and some of the all-time greats are catalogued in Houses of the Hockey's three-part series. Lanny McDonald's fiery-red moustache is, of course, legendary and synonymous with the player, as is George Parros's Princeton-educated soup-strainer, which he shaved off at the beginning of the month to help promote Movember. Classic Canucks moustaches include Dave Babych, seen above, and Harold Snepsts.

A few more Canucks are looking to join the ranks of those great moustaches this Movember. I tracked down some photos, mainly through the amazing photos Jeff Vinnick has taken on the Canucks roadtrip.

Dan "Hammy" Hamhuis is rocking a particularly excellent handlebar moustache. Actually, when I had a handlebar moustache last month (shaved off in anticipation of Movember), I was informed that the correct terminology for this particular moustache was a horseshoe moustache and that a handlebar moustache required "graspable extremities" as Wikipedia puts it. Meh. I'll keep calling it a handlebar moustache as it resembles the handlebars on a banana seat bicycle.

Andrew Alberts has your basic moustache in this shot. Nothing wrong with the basic 'stache.

Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra joins Hammy with an excellent handlebar moustache. He's also looking quite sharp in his black toque/scarf combo.

Wait, Kesler is that a moustache? It's kinda hard to tell...

Yes, it looks like he might have a moustache...maybe...

Ah, there it is. That is beautiful. Absolutely fantastic. Let's get a close-up on that.

Awesome.