Who Do the Canucks Want to Face in the First Round?

With the Canucks having sewn up their spot in the playoffs via a clever combination of playing in the terrible Northwest division and being the best team in the NHL, the time has come to consider who the Canucks will face in the playoffs. With a comfortable 10 point lead on the Red Wings for first place in the Conference, the Canucks could safely go .500 over their remaining 8 games and still be guaranteed top spot. So let's look at the teams that could end up in the 8th spot and face the Canucks in the first round.

Mathematically, there are still 12 teams that could potentially finish in 8th. Still, it's safe to say that the Red Wings and the Sharks won't be taking such a drastic fall. Similarly, the Blues, Blue Jackets, and Wild are unlikely to make improbable runs to the playoffs over their few remaining games. That still leaves 7 viable teams who could wind up facing the Canucks in the first round: the Coyotes, Blackhawks, Kings, Predators, Ducks, Stars, or Flames. Which of those teams would be an ideal match-up for the Canucks? Obviously, the Canucks don't need to be afraid to face any team this postseason, but which team would be preferable?

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Kings, March 5, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

After spending about twenty hours in the Nissan Versa, bickering about music selection, coining new swear words, and fighting off an invisible army of cramps, well, it was some sort of glorious reprieve to finally get to the hockey portion of the road trip. Not that there weren't highlights en route. For example: Bonnie Tyler's Faster Than the Speed of Night is about fifteen and a half minutes long, and it's the best quarter-hour you'll ever spend. A pack of Red Vines lasts forever. BTO's greatest hits is divisive. Medford, Oregon is a bit of a dump (as is their Ramada Inn), but the pool is frickin' immense. Miniature basketballs, when flung at the proper velocity, can leave large red welts on one's chest. The portions at Claim Jumper are sinfully massive. That said, it's still a long and exhausting journey--one that tests the will and drains the spirit--until the hockey part starts. Well, it started, we attended it and, while in attendance, [we] watched this game:

• The massive number of Canucks fans at the Staples Center was nothing short of astonishing. Downright egregious, even. After the first period, Kings fans stopped shouting Go Kings Go, because the chant immediately became Go Canucks Go (and you can't fight that, either; Canucks has harder phonetic sounds). The atmosphere in the building was electric as each team's fans fed off each other. In fact, it was often louder than the Nashville game from the other night. Shame on you, Vancouver Canucks fans in Vancouver. After the game, Canucks fans gathered into boisterous clusters, cheering and chanting. One fan tried to put his Trevor Linden jersey on the Wayne Gretzky statue out front (a clear jersey foul), before abandoning the attempt and draping a Canadian flag over the statue's shoulders instead. I was asked the question "What is a Canuck anyway?" by a curious Kings fan on the sidewalk as he marveled at the masses of blue and green. Another just took one look at my jersey and the smile on my face and said "F*** you!" In short, we were not welcome. Whatever. We won.

• Like palm trees in Los Angeles, Jannik Hansen was everywhere. The goal he scored was a classic bit of third-line grittery, as Hansen and Torres combined for some excellent forechecking and physical work down low before Torres swung the puck out front for Hansen to patiently pokecheck it into the net. He added 3 hits of the genus destructus and some solid work on the penalty kill, which took care of all 6 Kings' powerplays. Said Vigneault of the Delicious Dane: "He came out with a lot of fire in his cute little voice." That's Hansen, all right. Cute and full of fire. Jannik Hansen: baby dragon.

• I still owe Hansen a beer.

• The powerplay was the reciprocal of the penalty kill, going 0-for-6. There was simply not enough movement on the powerplay. It looked better as the game went on, and the Kings gave them ample opportunity to practice their powerplay skills, but the Canucks player on the half-wall (frequently Henrik) often ended up standing around waiting for something to open up while the rest of the powerplay unit stood around not opening anything up. The Canucks' struggles on the powerplay are becoming bothersome, as they haven't scored a powerplay goal in 5 straight games, going 0-for-15 in that stretch. They waste the man advantage like the Midianites.

• Drew Doughty was incensed after Daniel Sedin scored the go-ahead goal, going right after the referees and screaming that he was cross-checked. He didn't let it go either, yelling at the refs after being called for diving with 5 minutes left and continuing to berate the refs until they finally gave him a 10-minute misconduct in the final minute of the game. Watching the replay, there's no cross-check; Daniel merely pushes him away. Honestly, I just think he was embarrassed that he got so easily moved by a Sedin.

• Speaking of being easily moved by a Sedin, it was hard not to feel for Henrik when he flashed a pouty face after taking a Doughty high stick. The jumbotron couldn't get enough of Henrik's protruding lip, especially when Henrik later took a penalty. A shiny silver piece for anybody who finds us this image.

• The cycle on Daniel's goal was beautiful, if not quite wizardous. The activation of Ehrhoff from the point completely befuddled the Kings' defenders, leaving him with a clear path to the front of the net and a fabulous scoring chance. Quick was almost as upset as Doughty, suggesting that he was interfered with by Burrows. Burr did nudge him slightly as he passed by, but the bigger issue for Quick was having two of his own players crash down on top of him. Doughty was pushed slightly, but I suspect Willie Mitchell was just dizzy. He should learn proper spotting techniques to avoid this in the future.

• Kings are a chippy team, following the lead of their captain, Dustin Brown. Their activities after the whistle frequently got them in trouble and the Canucks broke their zen attitude in response. 17 penalties, but no fights. It was a bit like a playoff game. The only difference: it wasn't.

• Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis had yet another quietly effective game. He finished a game-high +3 in 24:24 of ice-time. He also played a team-high 5:08 on the penalty kill and spent the intermissions telling kids in Africa "I may kill penalties, but the deadliest killer is Malaria" before distributing bed nets.

• In the faceoff circle, Ryan Kesler went 13-for-16, Malhotra went 13-for-21, and Henrik went 7-for-12. So Henrik has to pay for the frozen yogurt.

• Aaron Rome was not good. At all. He dropped to minus-1 after getting outmuscled by Dustin Penner on Kings' only goal, and frequently made bad puck decisions. Still, he played more than Keith Ballard, including a full minute on the powerplay. I usually have an answer or, at worst, a theory as to why something is the way it is, but Rome's icetime is this season's most labyrinthine side story. Seriously, there's a minotaur in it.

• 4th line spent an inordinate amount of time pinned in the defensive zone against the Kings' top line. I suspect this was some sort of ploy to prove to Alain Vigneault they could handle the assignment. They were unconvincing.

• One thing that only the in-house audience would have been able to enjoy: it was Kings Mascot Bailey's birthday (apparently), prompting a visit from a bunch of other mascots, including Stinger (the Blue Jackets' mascot), Slapshot the Eagle (the Capitals' mascot), and Fin. The mascots played a game of hockey against some peewees during the first intermission and a game of quidditch against USC students during the second. In both contests, Fin was a freaking beast. In the intermission hockey game, he went all-out, scoring the only goal for the Mascots, all the while throwing heavy shoulders and slewfooting the tots. In the quidditch match, he captured the golden snitch. His mastery of these mini-games only prompted crowd jeering, but Fin didn't seem to care. He was on top of the world.

• Thanks to Qris for filling in for us while we conquered the great expanse between Vancouver and Los Angeles. He'll be covering the Phoenix and San Jose games as well. Make him feel welcome.

• Surprise of the night: Manny Malhotra is the most boisterous dancer in the post-game celebration. That is not the same as saying he is the best dancer, of course. Everybody knows the kid in the orange shirt is the best dancer.

PITB & The Canucks California Road Trip, Vol. I

Have you seen the Canucks' schedule in March? They're away quite a bit. They play 15 times in 31 days, with 9 of those contests in other people's buildings, as part of two lengthy road trips. The first will be five games, and the second will be four.

That first road trip is the annual California road trip, a rite of passage for Canucks fans. It's a jaunt that takes them through all three of California's hockey cities--Los Angeles, Anaheim, and San Jose--as well as the nearest out-of-state hockey town, Phoenix (if you can call it a hockey town when the team plays somewhere else and no one cares). If you're a Vancouver resident, you know that California is about a day's drive away, but when you factor in the sunshine and the cheap hockey tickets, it often seems closer than Chilliwack. You can take a week off work, see the Canucks play a handful of games for the price of one good ticket in Rogers Arena, and you can go to California. It's a triple win.

This year, Pass it to Bulis is making the journey. Four games. Four people. 8 crazy nights. It's like hockey Hannukah. Skeeter and I will be loading up the car with our luggage and our wives, and chasing our favourite hockey team around the Southwest United States in a Nissan Versa. We'll be listening to Sufjan Stevens, eating at In n' Out Burger, meeting up with Qris (our mysterious third contributor) in Anaheim, and blogging every minuscule detail, like when we get a piece of toast that looks like Batman while eating breakfast at a Perkins.

Also, we accidentally bought an extra ticket for the San Jose game. Do you want it? Simply tweet this:

RT & follow @passittobulis for chance to win ticket to #Canucks game in San Jose, March 10! #worstcontestever http://bit.ly/gkw5lI

Note: this contest is now closed. Congratulations to @indelibleline on winning the Worst Contest Ever!

It's our worst contest ever! The winner will be randomly selected from all entrants, but I like your chances. Seriously, how many Canucks fans are there in San Jose that also read this blog. It's just you. That said, a drive to San Jose is a paltry 16 hours, but how many Canucks fans want to drive 16 hours for one ticket? Did I mention this was our worst contest ever? If you're a Vancouver resident and you come all that way just to sit with us, we promise to share our popcorn, but that's all. That's how bad this contest is. That said, maybe you're a weird San Jose fan who like to consort with the enemy. We promise not to leer at you.



We have to imagine there will be more than a few Canucks fans--maybe even a few Bulies--who are already planning to make the trip. Are you going? Let us know in the comments.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Kings, October 15, 2010

Canucks 1 - Kings 4

Last night started off on a sour note, even before puck drop. I invited Skeeter to come watch the game with me in my new townhouse in Maple Ridge and, at about 8pm, I was beginning to wonder where he was. I found him out in the parking lot, not entirely sure what unit I lived in because I forgot to tell him. He was kinda visibly (understandably) upset. Well, the Canucks had as much trouble finding the net last night as Skeeter had finding my house. The Kings, on the other hand, got a few lucky bounces, and a tight defensive game turned into a 4-1 trouncing. I've only had cable in my place for three days, but the game was so infuriating I nearly snapped at my wife, then called Shaw and canceled their service, like Richard Beech famously did once. Regrettably, Skeeter and I watched this game, and fought back our primal urge to quit watching it because of our faithful reader:

• It goes without saying, but the Canucks might want to try scoring. I've seen Christian stand-up comedy more offensive than this. Ugh. Maybe.
• Daniel Sedin is on pace for 82 goals this season. The rest of the Canucks are on pace for 60. Combined. Jus' sayin'. Daniel's goal was beautiful. I love, in the clip above, how you can see him make the drop pass then just take off across the ice and down the far wing. The camera crew last night had some questionable moments, but this is excellent camera work.
• Speaking of the crew, did the Sportsnet guys forget there was a game last night? Explain to me why the intermission segments were all recycled from the Prospects camp, for goodness sakes. I've seen more original material from Carlos Mencia.
  
• How can you tell I'm in a bad mood? I'm taking cheapshots at bad comedians, as though their lives weren't worthless enough already. The only thing you contribute to society is humour, and you're terrible at it.
  
• As a Canucks fan during the Vigneault era, there is nothing more infuriating than when the team is stinking up the joint and, coming out of the second intermission, Vigneault debuts new lines which are akin to throwing in the towel. It's like throwing rotten tomatoes at the fans. Skeeter was teasing that we'd probably see Tanner Glass on the third line, a very specific pet peeve of mine, but AV went one step further and punched us right in my fansack: Peter Schaefer on the second line? Really? He's done nothing to merit a trip to the scoring lines. That's like rewarding a guy just for existing, and I thought only Glen Sather did that. Earlier in the game, Skeeter noted, "I'm ready to see Peter Schaefer on the fourth line." And I agree. He's a checker who accomplishes very little five-on-five. On the penalty kill, he's excellent, but that's about it. He doesn't create scoring chances, and playing him with a struggling Ryan Kesler is kind of like putting a guy on a sugar-free diet while injecting him with maple syrup.
• Know who does create offense? Kevin Bieksa. I can only speak for myself, as Skeeter is much more reasonable about these things, but... here's the thing. I'm already sick of Bieksa. I know AV likes the offense he creates--problem is, so does the other team. Bieksa was a minus-2 on the night, got beat on the 2-on-2 with Kopitar (who beats Bieksa with such regularity you'd think they were Ike & Tina), and made a number of boneheaded plays and turnovers. I think Bieksa plays for the Canucks too much (and I'm not talking about minutes). It's four games in and it's apparent that the only thing he's got going for him is that, apparently, he creates offense. This despite the fact we're not getting any right now, and that his created offense is available to everybody, like a mother's love. Vigneault on the Kings' third goal: "It was a simple 2-on-2 and two of their good players (Kopitar and Brown) beat our two good defencemen (Bieksa and Hamhuis) and that's going to happen." Fair. But have you noticed how often it happens with Bieksa? He leads the team in giveaways, and while there's really no distance between him and the others in that category, it's still indicative of his overall play that he's already at the top of the list.
  
• Speaking of line juggling, is there some reason Mikael Samuelsson is not allowed to go back on the second line? Is there a rift? Did he say something drastic and profane to Kesler, as he tends to do? Last game I pointed out that Raymond and Kesler are struggling to score and Samuelsson was the best fit for them last season. Tonight, going into the third period, Samuelsson was finally taken off the first line and placed: on the third line. Meanwhile, Mason Raymond was bumped up to the first line. I feel like I follow this team closer than our coach does. Everybody knows Raymond's style does not work with the Sedins. Infuriating.
  
• Also infuriating on a night like tonight: John Garrett, when he's not talking about goaltending. At one point, he suggested Raymond and Kesler just needed to get a few lucky bounces, and then the lucky bounces a regular goal scorer gets would start to come. That's right: you need to get lucky to be lucky.
• I, for one, am tired of the Canucks' slow starts in October. I'm glad, however, that Luongo is playing noticeably well, because now we can see that the problem hasn't been him. It's been that, for some reason, the whole team isn't ready to play come October. That's got to be on coaching, though I'm not calling to fire Vigneault (despite all my basest urges on a bewilderingly bad night like tonight).
  
• What was up with Raffi Torres tonight? A team-low minus-3, and two absolutely boneheaded penalties to sap all possible momentum in the third period. Raffi, I declare you the team's second-string whipping boy. Whip.
• I'm pretty choked, but I urge you all not to panic. If we win the next game, we're 2-2-1, which is the same record Chicago has right now. That means we're the same as Chicago, and they just won the cup so, if we win the next game, we win the cup. Then we can finally tell the smug 1915 Vancouver Millionaires to shut up.
  
• The Beckhams were in the audience. I didn't care. If the earth had opened up and sucked them both into the soul-logged waters of the River Styx, I might have cared. But they managed to stay on the surface of the earth, so I shrug my shoulders at their continued existence.
• I muchly enjoyed the fight between Simmonds and Alberts. Sidebar: it's four games in and we haven't seen Rypien turbofist anybody. This is why we're losing. Rypien fighting is the fastest way to get your team's momentum bar to fill all the way up.
• And finally, as Missy pointed out, it's only October. As the angel Gabriel once said, "Be not afraid.... btw you're pregnant with God's baby."
  

Well, Crap

That about sums up my thoughts on this news: Willie Mitchell has been signed by the LA Kings.

Farewell, Willie. I really wish you were going to a team on the East Coast where you could shut down Ovechkin and Crosby to your heart's delight. I'm not looking forward to you playing against the Sedins.

Willie Mitchell Takes Talents to Long Beach

Take that, Vancouver. Just kidding, you're all right.

Dan Murphy is tweeting that the Kings have finally gotten Willie Mitchell to crack, and signed him to a multi-year deal. Canucks fans--just this morning ecstatic over the Torres signing--are throwing themselves off of bridges.

Don't panic, Canucks fans. As much as the Canucks would have loved to have Willie Mitchell back, the plan was never to keep him. That ship sailed when they didn't re-negotiate with him last season. Mitchell is an excellent defensive defenseman, but the Canucks wanted somebody who could do that job while still facilitating the breakout pass. See, nobody was better at poking the puck away and clearing the zone than Willie Mitchell, but the Canucks wanted somebody who could take the puck away from the other team and then, you know, have the puck. Mitchell wasn't that guy, and playing him on the top pairing meant that he played too large a role in the breakout for his offensive skillset, and too often at that.

This is why the Canucks paid top dollar for Dan Hamhuis. Defensive skills? Check. Breakout pass. Check. See, Hamhuis is a better defenseman. The thing Mitchell does well, Hamhuis does well enough. Everything else, Hammy does better. Keep your heads, Canuck nation. We're still good.

Mitchell will do well in Los Angeles and I wish him nothing but the best, but don't think our season's going to tank. He wasn't in the plans at the end of last season, so clearly Gillis thought we could win without him. Even with the Salo injury, which seemed to make Mitchell a bigger Vancouver commodity to fans and pundits, I don't think Mitchell was anything more than a luxurious afterthought for Gillis. Nice to have for the right price, but more a want than a need. So off he goes.

People are going to bash him for taking the contract over his supposed loyalties, but that's bogus. Not to sound like Chris Bosh, but the athlete needs to think of himself before he handicaps his career dabbling in loyalties. If the two ideals sync up, wonderful. If they don't, well, that's business, kids.

Don't underestimate the value of term. If you were offered two identical jobs, but one was guaranteed to last a year longer, which would you take? Take off your fan glasses and put on your family glasses. You want to be able to count on your salary for more than a year. You're job-hunting now. It sucks. Do you want to be job-hunting again in a year? No. Nobody does. What if you get hurt during that year and you're not guaranteed a job for the next year? You're hooped.

It's why Niemi had to cash in as a Stanley Cup winning goalie, he had to file for arbitration when Chicago refused to pay him, even when it meant he'd likely have to leave Chicago. You have to get what you can while you can get it, and you have to protect your value. When your value is high, you take advantage. For Niemi--and it's a shame he hasn't found a home yet, he got screwed--he made the right choice for his career. Protect value. You can't sacrifice career longevity for loyalty or anything else, including, in his case, knowing his team couldn't afford him, unfortunately. You work for yourself, for your family.

Mitchell got lucky. After a nearly career-ending concussion, his value remained intact. It increased through the summer, as he rehabbed into playing shape. Smartly, knowing his value could plummet with another concussion, he took a multi-year contract.

Willie made the right choice for his future.

Godspeed, Bill Pickle.

The Game's Best Defensemen Are Always Here

Duncan Keith is pretty good. He is always here.

Vancouver Canucks fans are raw about the 2010 playoffs. They're raw because we lost to the Chicago Blackhawks--again, and because we lost in such a spectacular way: the profligate defense, the bankrupt penalty kill, the bedraggled goaltending... Pavol Demitra... Vancouver Canucks fans are raw because we thought we were better, that we deserved better. But here's the thing: we were treated to something incredible special during those playoffs--something that no other team can brag: we got to watch Drew Doughty and Duncan Keith destroy us for twelve games.

It was magical.

It's often hard to notice a good defenseman, primarily because a good defenseman doesn't make mistakes, and defenders primarily get noticed when they're beaten. NHL defense is subtle and fluid, remarkably so at the elite level. This is excepting the prodigous ones, the defensemen so good they can't help but stand out every moment they're on the ice. Duncan Keith and Drew Doughty? These guys basically glow. They do things no other defensemen can do, and you have to notice because you never see it. What's more, they do it at high-speed, with a mind-boggling grace and ease. They rush the puck like all-star forwards, they backcheck at lightning speed, they run a seamless power play, they possess the puck like no one else, and they dig the puck out of the boards while being completely unhittable.

Think about it: how many times did Duncan Keith swivel around and retrieve a Canuck dump-in? How many times did you scream, "Hit him!" only to discover the puck was already out, the 'Hawks were in transition, and the Vancouver offense was behind an odd-man rush. Duncan Keith was blink-and-you-missed it incredible all series long, and you saw it because you were exposed to him for six games.

What blows me away is that Drew Doughty was arguably better. We hated him more, because he singlehandedly carried that Kings team. In retrospect, who but Doughty made any noise at all? Other Kings scored, sure, but only Doughty made us clench our fists and pray to the hockey gods he passed the puck to someone less brilliant, less prodigous.

Keith, Doughty, it was a treat to see these guys, to have such a long, in-depth look at what makes them the best defensemen in the game. This article is to ensure that we appreciate this. Sure, one of them beat us, and the other nearly did all by himself, but despite our bias, let us understand that Duncan Keith and Drew Doughty, the Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin of NHL defensemen, treated us to something rare.

People talk about how the biggest problem with the Canucks is that we don't have an elite defenseman. We look at Doughty, Keith, and Weber, and we shake our heads, saying, "why don't we have one of those?"

I think our petty jealously blinds us to how truly jealous we should actually be.

These guys don't grow on trees. They're generational talents. Rather than demand Gillis gets us one, which is unlikely considering it would be like Gillis finding a Dragon Ball, we should bask in their rare and special greatness every time they come to town. In fact, I'm getting tired of hearing about how all the stars are in the Eastern Conference. No they aren't. Crosby and Ovechkin are. After that, it's a dead heat offensively (they have Stamkos, Gaborik, Backstrom, we have Sedin, Thornton, Kane) and defensively, we have everyone. Shea Weber, Drew Doughty, Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook, Nicklas Lidstrom, Scott Neidermayer. These are guys that can control an entire NHL game from the backend and control it in a way that is visible to the average hockey fan. Who in the Eastern Conference does that? Zdeno Chara, maybe? Chris Pronger? Maybe when motivated. Not every night, that's for sure.

As Canuck fans and as Westerners we should take stock of the privilege we have to watch The Sedins every night, to watch Keith and Doughty multiple times each year, and potentially see them up close and personal over a seven-game playoff series. We need to stop complaining about how the East doesn't care about us, how our geographical plight prevents us from seeing the game's stars. It's not true. During the 09-10 season, we got downright sick of seeing the game's best defensemen. We were spoiled.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Kings, April 25, 2010

Above: Absurdity

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it To Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.

To quote the excellent sign held by a Canucks fan last night at the Staples Center: "YES!" That is Canucks hockey at its finest. Superb goaltending from Roberto "Bob Long" Luongo, highlighted by his absurd save on Ryan Smyth shown above. Steve Bernier introducing Johnny Quick to his behind. Daniel Sedin scoring a crucial goal. Mikael Samuelsson shooting from absolutely everywhere. Fantastic stuff.

And now, in my very best impression of Will Farrell impersonating Harry Caray, "CANUCKS WIN! CANUCKS WIN!"

• Andrew Alberts was decent on the penalty kill. Who knew? It was hard to tell through the first couple games of the series because he was in the penalty box for all of the Kings' powerplays. He only had one shift in the third period, so it's clear Vigneault still doesn't fully trust the guy, but he's turning things around after a putrid start.

• Steve Bernier has been a revelation all series, but he played his best game last night. His strong work on the boards on the penalty kill was a major reason why they didn't give up a single powerplay goal.

• Slight caveat to that last point: the Canucks killed every penalty, but both LA goals came immediately after powerplays and were a direct result of the pressure LA was able to mount throughout the two minutes. The Canucks still have some work to do on that PK, it seems.

• Dustin Brown played an excellent game, but his dive to draw a Daniel Sedin tripping penalty was ugly. Between periods, Ron Maclean showed the clip several times, while praising Dustin Brown for his high level of play. What, no compilation of the "best of" Dustin Brown diving?

• What was with the guy in the Oilers' jersey behind the Canucks bench? Is he just a fan of hockey in general? Is he an Edmonton fan who is now cheering for the Canucks as the closest Canadian franchise? Is he a Wayne Gretzky fan, but prefers the Oilers jersey to the Kings? What's the deal?

• Kevin Bieksa's goal was the first of the series to beat Quick five-hole.

• Alex Burrows' tribute to Luc Bourdon gets me every time. Even when it comes on an empty net goal. Here's hoping that goal gets Burrows to loosen up a bit. It was far too easy to forget that he was the Canucks' leading goalscorer in the regular season.

• Rick Rypien and Tanner Glass didn't play a single shift in the third period, but Jannik Hansen was bumped up to the third line in place of Steve Bernier for a few shifts and was quite effective on the forecheck.

• Terry Murray's post-game comments about the game-winning goal? Not the least bit classy and sound awfully whiny: "The puck just flutters around, and it ends up with a very fortunate bounce. If (Samuelsson's shot) gets through, it probably goes over the net. That was not a well-placed shot."

• Luongo's glove stop on Smyth was the highlight reel save of the night, but he was solid throughout. It helped that he faced a ton of shots early and made 15 saves in the first period. He settled into the game quickly and was at the top of his crease for most of his saves.

• Johnny Quick, after solid performances to start of the series, looked like a playoff rookie through the last two games. It was indicative of his performance throughout the year. The difference in the regular season was that his team could frequently score their way out of trouble and were unable to do so in this series. Still, he's young and has a lot of potential. It will be interesting to see Bernier and Quick battle to be the Kings starter next season.

• Ron Maclean's "pull that top off" moment was baffling. The man realizes he's on national television, right? The really sad part is that two men have been dressing up in skintight bodysuits, rubbing themselves against the penalty box glass, and generally being very provocative, and not a single sexual comment or innuendo has come their way. Instead, it's seen as goofy, fun, and humorous. As soon as a female dressed the same way, a sexual comment is made (intentionally or otherwise). I'm surprised this hasn't been picked up by more media sources.
  

• Finally, I'm already looking ahead to the next series. Whether it's against Chicago, Phoenix, or Detroit, I'm confident the Canucks can make it through. That said, they'll need to get more offensively out of Raymond and Burrows, . The Sedins have been their usual steady selves, Samuelsson has been ridiculous, and Bernier has been surprising, but Raymond and Burrows only managed a goal each. As the playoffs progress, teams will key in on the Sedins and Samuelsson, which is when the second and third lines will need to contribute more. Some will call for more from Ryan Kesler as well, but he did score 6 points in 6 games while playing solid defensively. Raymond and Burrows, however, will need to provide that secondary scoring punch for the Canucks to get through the next round.

Note: this post is actually by Skeeter, but I, Harrison, bumped it to the top and blogger gave me credit for it. I have plagiarized my best friend and I take full responsibility for the crime.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Kings, April 23, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass It To Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.


Well, how about that? I feel great. I think I might keep this on the PVR forever, and watch it every night, in favour of having intercourse with my wife. It was that satisfying. Let's get right into it. (Editor's note: That was Harrison. Skeeter would like it made clear that he prefers intercourse with his wife to watching Canucks games on PVR)

• This game featured a much better start by the Canucks' penalty kill. They were so on their game that they killed off the first two-minute minor in eight seconds. Good on ya, boys.

• Anybody else catch Fin as a green man? A little late to this party, Fin, but we still like you. On the flipside, I think I saw the Green Men repeating moves tonight. I expect unlimited creativity and preparation out of you guys. I saw one King head to the box and the green guy kind of had a "maybe next time" look on his [featureless] face.

• More goals by Mikael Samuelsson. That's seven in five games. What's really incredible about his streak is that he's putting everything glove side. Like Gunner Stahl. "He's fancy. He'll go glove."

• Craig Simpson needs to consult a dictionary on the difference between complexity and complexion. He also needs to use less sexually descriptive phrases. The Kings were "getting into a nice tight box" is perhaps a smidge racy.

• For the conspiracy theorists, I hope you caught DJ Dave's tribute to you guys when "Sabotage" hit the speakers after the second penalty that led to the five-on-three in the second period.

• Andrew "Barabbas" Alberts played quite well tonight. I like his big body when he's up against forwards like Handzus and Fredrik "Is that You" Modin. And, just when we were once screaming "crucify him!" he gets an assist on the seventh goal. He actually has more points than Alex Burrows. Just sayin'.

• LA's total collapse in the third period was like those episodes of Law & Order where the criminal self-destructs and admits he did it while the district attorney is questioning him. We all know it. Just show us your true self. So gratifying.

• Speaking of gratifying, I don't know what was better. When SOB beat up on Wayne Simmonds and then flashed the shaky pistols like he was partying at the Roxy, or when Rick Rypien pounded on Clune. I'm thinking the second one, as I'm pretty sure I'm heard Glenn Healy imply afterward that Rypien was a hockey god.

• Meanwhile, on that self-destruct, Demitra and Samuelsson made Ersberg look like he was playing in the 80s, what with the shots from the wing that beat him so cleanly. Back then, even the best goalies in the world couldn't stop those shots. These days, let in a couple and you'll get pulled for the goalie that just got pulled. As Skeeter said, consistently missing the opportunity for puns tonight, "Quick was put back in the game rather swiftly."

• Roberto Luongo played great tonight. 'Nuff said.

• The Sedins have combined for fifteen points in this series. I'll tell you when home ice matters: when you have the last change. They seemed unstoppable tonight, and one of the major reasons was that Terry Murray couldn't seem to get his matchups.

• The Demitra-Wellwood-Bernier line was on fire tonight. I hesitate to say Wellwood was playing like a man possessed. He wasn't, but I saw him take a slap shot tonight. Maybe the hardest shot he's ever taken. Most times when he shoots, it looks more like a saucer pass.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Kings, April 21, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass It To Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.

Taking off my Canucks fan hat for a moment, I just want to acknowledge the fantastic entertainment value of this playoff series. In my egotistical opinion, this series has had the most drama, excitement, and fun of the entire first round. Game four was no different. Here are a few of my thoughts:

• It's a sad day when killing a single penalty is lauded like the Canucks had won a major victory. The penalty kill still needs a lot of work, but it looked stronger towards the end of the game as the Canucks put some good pressure up ice on the forecheck and clogged up the neutral zone.

• The Sedins showed why they're two of the best players in hockey, as they took over the third period with their typical sublime passing and puck control. But what impressed me most was their dogged effort, chasing down every puck, playing the body, and covering up the puck to waste time at the end of the game.

• Henrik's unadulterated glee at scoring the game-winning goal was fantastic, but my favorite part was when he immediately skated to the bench to celebrate with the entire team rather than just the four skaters on the ice. That's team unity.

• With a 2 point effort, Henrik was named the second star on the night by the NHL and first star on the night by Puck Daddy. I prefer Puck Daddy's ranking, but I'm blatantly biased. Daniel had 3 assists on the night, none better than this slap pass to Mikael Samuelsson.

• No one celebrates a goal quite like Sami Salo. I'm just glad he didn't hurt himself with the double fist pump.

• Kyle Wellwood made a couple of uncharacteristic bonehead passes in this game, but he also played solid defensively, controlled the puck well along the boards against much bigger competition, won 64% of his faceoffs, and recorded an assist. Not bad at all.

• At 0:25 of this video, Luongo gets his mask knocked off by a fan. The look on Luongo's face is priceless. Personally, I imagine the fan was thinking the same thing as the bleeding woman from Matthew 9:20-22: "If I can only touch his mask, I will be healed." And Luongo turned and saw him. "Take heart, son, your faith has healed you." Then he gets his mask back and high-fives some Canucks fans.

Harrison's turn!

Back to Vancouver we go, the series knotted at two wins apiece. I'm ecstatic that we won last night's game, but the stress of this series is killing me. My wife--normally not a hockey fan, that one--is a nervous wreck after taking in her first playoff series. Last year, we went on our honeymoon during the Chicago series and we missed all the infuriating parts. In year's before, she just avoided hockey like the plague. But, in a basement suite, with one television, the volume up as loud as ever, and, often, guests aplenty clogging up the available space, she's been forced to hop on the bandwagon with everybody else. And its stressing her out.

That said, it'll do her good to have her patience tested by the Canucks. It's why British Columbians are typically so relaxed, methinks. It's not the pot. It's the inept history of the Vancouver Canucks, which has taught us all to accept even the worst disappointments calmly. Excepting when we don't.

• It's strange to say that Roberto Luongo was better tonight when he let in four goals, but he didn't get pulled, so, he was better. That said, he was also pretty good when it counted, if we only consider specific moments where he made crucial saves as when it counted. Too much parsing. It also counted in the first period when he couldn't make the save and incurred the wrath of Tommy Larscheid on the radio broadcast. "You deserve to fish it out the back of your net," he spewed, in reference to Lu's failure to cover up a loose puck on a scramble. Ouch.

• Luongo was the better goalie tonight and I think the Canucks might have the book on Quick: the guy is the antonym of quick on the stick side. To wit: he was slow. With the exception of Samuelsson's glove-side tip on the slap-pass (called a shass by the Versus color in this highlight package, which is not a good name for it), every one of the Canucks five goals on Quick was fired across Quick's body and went just over the pads on his stick side. Expect this trend to continue.

• I agree with Skeeter on Wellwood, who has been his typical hot/cold self, but we need Wellwood, the playoff warrior ("Wellwood Smash!"), not Wellwood, the existential functionalist ("Oh, shucks"). The guy's calmness with the puck has been taken to epic levels of late, resulting in remarkable puck possession (third period last night) or horrible turnovers (the Richardson goal from the last game). Problem is, it's a coin flip on which one we'll see from shift to shift. It's also a lot of wear and tear on my arms, as Wellwood has me shaking my fist on every shift, either out of excited pride or rage. Kyle, you are making this friendship so difficult.

• I am still waiting for Ryan Kesler to show up. LA scored a couple times tonight when Kes lost his man. And yes, I'm calling him Kes. The suffix -Lord will return to his name when he earns it back. I don't see his speed, I don't see his grit, and I don't see his recently developed playmaking ability at all. The guy is tight and he's not playing like he played all season, when he could have been our MVP (were it not for that other guy, who tainted the whole ballot by being a league MVP). I don't mean to harp on Kesler and Wellwood, but the Pittsburgh Penguins are a good example of why strong play from your centers is often all you need.

• Can Vancouver collectively send Doug Wilson candies and flowers for giving us Christian Ehrhoff for nothing? He was a beast last night, giving us an offensive answer for Drew Doughty, if at least for one game. Not sure if we realize how much of our offense he generates.

• I thought Nolan Baumgartner looked shaky last night as did Tom Larscheid, who disliked his game enough to say on the radio that maybe Alberts should come back in. Matthew 27:21: which of the two do you want me to release to you?" asked the governor. "Barabbas," they answered.

• What in the heck was Shane O'Brien doing? I play basketball with a guy like him sometimes. He gets incensed about something, and then you just can't talk any sense into him. And then he elbows someone in the solarplexis on a harmless crossover. Anybody who questions Luongo's leadership should refer to the moment in which he talked SOB down after the coaching staff couldn't. Seriously. That was an excellent bit of captaincy.

• Were it nor for the referees, Wayne Simmonds might have been on the receiving end of Bieksa's patented Superman punch. It would have been nice to see his skinny chicken legs buckle after taking in The Fist that Felled Fedor(tm).

• The Canucks are brutalizing the Kings 5-on-5, outscoring them every game when the play's even. But, since the refs refuse to let us see much of this type of hockey and continue to make terrible, terrible calls, we need to win these special teams battles. Last night, it was a sawoff, as both teams went 2-for-4. That's okay. A draw in special teams means the game is decided 5-on-5. Little shock who won, then.

• It goes without saying, but Mikael Samuelsson has been the best player on the Canucks all series long. He seems to score crucial goals exclusively, he's always dangerous, he gets into open areas, he displays an unparalleled patience with the puck, and his clutchness and calmness is the perfect way to lead by example. The man has been a star, and he deserves every minute of top-line ice time he gets. The tip he made to Daniel on the Salo goal was maybe the play of the game. Terry Murray's imperative to his team to "know where Samuelsson is at all times" should really flatter the guy.
  

• I've been thinking: We've seen SOB and Samuelsson both play better when they were left off teams they should have been on. Perhaps in practice AV should exclude them off a scrimmage? SOB's seems pretty dense; they might even be able to convince him it was the real game.

• Tanner Glass looked pretty bad last night. Why isn't Rypien playing in his place? He's faster, hits just as much, has more skill, and plays the same position. Seriously, one game as a center and AV forgets he can play the wing? Even Hordichuk might be an upgrade to match the Kings' size.

• And finally, how did Gary Bettman manage to address and dispel the rumours of an Eastern bias while making it glaringly evident in his own statement? The quote: I think Mr. Murphy was trying to explain at 1 o'clock in the morning as best he could exactly what was going on and if he wasn't as articulate as those looking to parse his words, so be it." So wait, he was tired? The game was on too late? Isn't that exactly what the jingoists in the Vancouver media always claim is the real issue with the bias? The time difference and the Eastern guys' unwillingness to stay up that late? These are grown men. They can stay up past their bedtime on occasion. It sounds stupid as Hell, but here, Bettman actually admits the lateness of the games is a factor. WTF? The bizarro playoffs continue.

Henrik Sedin vs. the "Rodney" Kings

As a black man, this is like a photo negative of my greatest nightmare.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Kings, April 17, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.


Well, as far as my initial insights go, this was a frustrating hockey game from the second period onward. The Canucks started strong, on a powerplay goal by Steve Bernier--perhaps the first since America's had a black president--and a Samuelsson tally that Johnny Quick probably should have had. But after that, either the Canucks started attacking or LA really came on, and suddenly the game was tied. From there, it was all sadface. Bloggers shouldn't be forced to report to their regular gigs for a few days afterward on the grounds that it's too deflating. Oh well. Let's get to it.

• I believe that I actually called the knob of the stick debacle. It's the fourth time this has happened, and it's official: Roberto Luongo's knob is too big. Hmm. I think I saw this episode of Sex & The City.

• Still waiting for Ryan Kesler to really show up. I know he had two assists, but, frankly, the way that he can take over a game with his speed and tenacity, I want to see more of Frack (or is he Frick?)

• Also still waiting for Kyle Wellwood to show up. He's looking a little more nonchalant than usual, and that's the exact opposite of what we need out of him.
  

• Enough of Andrew Alberts already. The seventy-six minors he took in the game really hurt our ability to generate offense. He's like a clone of Shane O'Brien from last year. A bigger, dumber clone.

• Best quote from the press afterwards: But [Luongo's] knob probably wouldn't have been a factor in overtime if the Vancouver Canucks didn't play like one in regulation. Good one, Botch.
  

• Speaking of players I'm sick of, Pavol Demitra deserves to be demoted, methinks. He's getting a free pass to do nothing. I think a switch of Grabner and Demitra might do us all some good. We need to generate more offense on Kesler's line and Demitra's not getting it done.

• My Facebook account is inundated with people down on the Canucks for chronically giving away two-goal leads. Let's put this to bed. First of all, in these playoffs, almost every team has done it once, and second, the Canucks haven't been known for that since the mid-90s. Let's get with it, everyone. The Canucks are a good team. They could be up 2-0 in this series right now if it weren't for one bad bounce. And it could be worse. Imagine if we were the San Jose Sharks.
  

• I know Luongo's going to get flack for the knob thing, but he was sensational last night. Had he won, all the talk would be about how he finally got it going.

• And finally: Drew Doughty is so freaking good it's infuriating. I hate his guts. The way he skates the puck out of the zone, the way he's always in position, the way he plays half the game and he could be my kid brother. The way he broke up that two-on-one with the Sedins... it made me upset. UPSET.

Here's hoping we win the next one, or I might hurt somebody. And somebody's face.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Kings, April 16, 2010

I Watched This Game is a recurring feature on Pass it to Bulis, chronicling the observations and insights of two people who watched a hockey game.

It's good to start things off right, isn't it? Mikael Samuelsson's game-winner 8:52 into the extra frame gave the Canucks a 1-0 lead in their first-round series against the Kings, and officially saved my heart from exploding due to the stress of the whole game.

The media's been spinning a little yarn about playoff upsets, and after day 1 of the playoffs had passed us by, it looked as if every underdog was going to walk away from game 1 a winner. I tried to laugh it off, but when Tomas "Jagr" Plekanec beat Theodore, I began to fear an inevitable cosmic pattern. My hands were clammy, my stomach was upset, and my skeleton was trying to lead out of my mouth and escape my body. I thought I might have Bonus Eruptus, which would have been terrifying, as I don't know if my MSP covers transdental electromicide. I was a wreck. Thankfully, Mikael Samuelsson was not.

This is why Mike Gillis signed the guy. He's been a boon during the regular season, but I don't think we'll be fully aware of his complete value until we see what he does for us in the playoffs. His calmness was obvious from puck drop. He didn't give the puck away, even under pressure, he didn't dump it in from the red line, and he didn't rush a thing. He played smart with it, bought himself some time, and jumped to the slot at the right time for two huge goals. I'm always skeptical of sports cliches like "playoff experience," but it was obvious that Samuelsson was a big calming influence and played with a sturdier head than the rest of the team. Here's hoping the tone that he set will be the difference-maker in more games than just one.

Additional observations:

• I didn't notice Ryan Kesler all that much tonight. Then again, I didn't notice Anze Kopitar either. My guess is both observations are related. I assume kudos are in order, Kes.

• Alex Burrows looked dangerous all night, with something like six scoring chances in the first period alone. I also quite enjoyed when the CBC microphone caught him exchanging words with Drew Doughty. Quite a mouth on that cat. But! My favorite Alex Burrows moment was when he walked past the post-game interview with Scott Oake and Samuelsson, shouted something, then couldn't get the dressing room door open.

• The Sedins are incredible. To anybody who's worried about a series with Chicago, perhaps saying that both teams have improved at about the same clip, don't forget that the Sedins went from top-line players to superstars this year.

• Who spiked mild-mannered Alex Edler's coffee tonight? He was a frickin' freight train all night, especially on this hit on Doughty What a bizarre transformation. I'm sure I speak for every Canuck fan when I say, "Do that always. And forever."

• Have the Green Men been working with a choreographer? Because wow. I read somewhere that they had some moves planned for the playoffs, but I thought they were just blowing smoke. The Green Man meme is all over the place, but methinks Vancouver's cornered the market. The Green Eggs and Ham, as B-Mac [almost] called it this morning, may be as classic an original pose as we've seen at GM Place since Moir and Virtue's Goose. These cats are like an animated gif factory. They are also much-beloved by Puck Daddy and now, Deadspin. And the Kurtenblog is wrong. This won't get old until the playoffs are over, and it's associated with our annual playoff flameout. If we win the Stanley Cup and it's associated with that, it will never get old. See, Kurtenblog, it's not the antics that are hilarious. It's their level of commitment (again see: Green Eggs and Ham).
  

• How about that goal-line save by Roberto Luongo? Clutch. And you were all concerned about how he'd play.

• At the tail end of that clip, we see his stick get caught up in his own equipment. He literally skewers himself. What the heck? Mind you, it's nothing compared to Kopitar's careless high stick on Henrik that went completely uncalled. You've got a smoking gun and you do nothing? Come on, refs. I didn't mind the job they did last night, but a couple of their non-calls were fairly egregious.

• It should have been called, especially because the Kings were running Henrik Sedin all night. Gallagher agrees. The good news? They seem to have forgotten he has a twin brother... we can use this.
  

• The Canucks outplayed the Kings all night, but the penalty kill is now a concern. I think we missed Ryan Johnson tonight.
  

• That said, the real story for the Kings was Johnny Quick. I hope he cuts it out, because I don't know how many puns on his name I can take.
  

• Speaking of refs, was Stephane Auger reffing tonight? When Alberts got five and a game, it seemed like the Nashville game all over again. The ref made the call, and then Richardson popped to his feet. It was boarding, but that's all it was. Richardson should be wary of the "you embarrassed me" speech.
  

• It's a shame, too, because Alberts played well before he got thrown out. The pairing of he and Bieksa made me nervous (as well as CDC member Tatoes, I would imagine), but they were mean and had good sticks.

• One of my predictions--that O'Brien would stickhandle the puck out of his own zone only to throw it away for icing--nearly came true. He gained the red line, but then he threw it way out of play.
  

• Speaking of predictability, someone please explain these bizarro playoffs to me. Everyone is choking except the Canucks? It's a topsy-turvy world.

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Some additional thoughts from Skeeter:

• One of the most impressive elements of last night's victory was the defensive awareness of every Canuck on the ice. It was also extremely necessary, as every Canucks defenceman jumped up into the rush and pinched hard along the boards. Bieksa, Ehrhoff, and Edler were the most effective in this role and it did not cost the Canucks defensively.

• The penalty kill, on the other hand, was extremely ineffective. I don't think it was a problem with the personnel, but rather with the strategy: the Canucks penalty killers put a lot of pressure on the points, preventing shots from the blueline, but the Kings responded with excellent passing and down-low pressure. The Canucks will need to avoid penalties in this series or get to work on fixing the penalty kill.

• Andrew Alberts certainly wasn't terrible, but the two Kings goals were scored on his penalties. With Aaron Rome practicing with the team today (according to Mike Gillis on the Team 1040), don't expect Alberts to suit up for the rest of the series unless there are injuries.

The LA Kings Are Bad

Dustin Brown is bad.

We are but a mere two days away from the beginning of Vancouver's 2010 cup run and I'm sure I speak for the entire province when I say I'm finding it hard to focus on other important things in my life. My marriage, my wonderful cat... though all will suffer considerable neglect over the next (hopefully) couple of months, each has seen dependable ol' Harrison check out mentally pretty early. No love springs from this Canucks fan; I've spent the last few days honing my hatred for the Los Angeles Kings.

It's hard. Obviously, I want the Kings to fail miserably, but it's nice to see them in the playoffs again. And Wayne Simmonds has been a nice addition to the forward corps of the all-black team (The Winnipeg All Blacks) I always wind up making on EA's latest NHL game. It used to be tough to fill out that lineup. Peter Worrell is not a top-six forward. And Drew Doughty is one Hell of a hockey player.

But I digress. For the next four to seven games, at least, the Los Angeles Kings are bad. BAD. If you think they are good, you obviously have them confused with some other kings. Perhaps the Brandon Wheat Kings? Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings? Maybe you like those kings, but you don't like the LA Kings. The LA Kings are bad.

Martin Luther King is good. Maybe that's who you're thinking of. The LA Kings are bad. Perhaps you're a member of the secret political consortium that conspired to destroy MLK's reputation with allegations of extramarital affairs and, ultimately, assassinate him? Well, if you think he was bad, the LA Kings are worse.

King Richard Brodeur? Good. King Clancy? Why he's a hockey legend, a trophy, and a Canadian sex act. All of those things are good. The LA Kings are bad.

King penguins are cute. Cute is good. King cobras are bad. But not as bad as the LA Kings.

Evelyn "Champagne" King? Pretty good. Ben E. King? Hecka good. King Crimson? Wholly underrated, and so, so good. If you're thinking of good kings, you might be thinking of In the Court of the Crimson King. That's a prog-rock classic. Prog-rock classics are good. The LA Kings are BAD.

King Triton refused to let his daughter find true love because of a prejudice against bipeds. How selfish! King Midas is just as selfish. He turned his own daughter into gold for no reason. King Lear treats all of his daughters like garbage for his own self-aggrandizement! And King Henry VIII didn't even want a daughter! He killed all of his wives just for giving birth to girls! The LA Kings are more selfish than these kings, and they hate women just as much.

Don't confuse the LA Kings with King Edward the Confessor, the patron saint of kings. King David? King Solomon? Yeah, they were obviously good. Don't confuse the LA Kings with Jesus Christ, the King of Kings. He was good. The LA Kings crucified him. Well, we all did, but you see what I'm getting at. The LA Kings are bad. The King James Bible is good. Unless you're Christopher Hitchens, in which case, the King James Bible is bad. Just like the LA Kings.

Good King Wenceslas is known for his goodness, and it was certainly a truer quality than his kingliness. He was only a duke. The LA Kings are, likewise, not even real kings.

King Koopa? Why, he's bad, unless you're talking about King Koopa's Kool Kartoons. Or if you're playing Mario Power Tennis, in which case, his powerful forehand is a godsend against other heavyweights like King Boo (also bad, and, like Dustin Brown, he'll hit you from behind) and Donkey Kong. And speaking of Kongs, King Kong is pretty bad (especially if we're talking about the Jessica Lange version). Or is he? I guess, in all seriousness, it's man that was kind of the villain there. But let's agree that he still did a lot of damage. And either way he's better than the LA Kings. So is Kirby's foe, King Dedede (who looks a bit like Kyle Wellwood) and Donkey Kong's archnemesis, King K. Rool, who had a wicked theme song, but snatched a lot of bananas.

This seems like a good lead-in for a Billie Jean King reference, but I can't think of one. She's good, unless you're Dr. James Dobson, for instance. Then she's bad. Just like the LA Kings. King of the Hill? Burger King? Stephen King? I am indifferent to these kings. The LA Kings? I know for a fact that they are bad, bad, bad.

In closing, the LA Kings are bad.