Tuesday, July 06, 2010

From the 'What If' Files: GM Place Renamed Lebron Place!

It was a typical day in Vancouver when Mike Gillis approached the podium. The media had gathered for the surprise press conference, expecting to hear only the mundane news that GM Place, the Canucks home since 1995, would be rechristened for another major sponsor. Telus Place. The Pattison Pavilion. Any number of names would have appropriately underwhelmed. But then Mike Gillis dropped the bomb. "Effective immediately," he announced, "GM Place will be known as Lebron Place."

The sudden explosion of hundreds of flash bulbs kicked off a frenzy of activity. Voices rang out from the crowd. Gillis was asked to explain himself. And that's when the walls came tumbling down. "Lebron James has signed a max, $200 million, ten-year contract to play with the Vancouver Grizzlies." And, as though anticipating the next question, he added, "Yes, the Memphis Grizzlies will be coming home." Lebron James emerged from behind a curtain. "I am the greatest," he said. "I'm so great I can resurrect the Vancouver Grizzles. People of Vancouver. I am yours. Love me." It was the greatest day in the history of Vancouver.

*sigh* It's a slow news day.

1 comment:

  1. I may be biased, but this is friggin' hilarious.


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