Thursday, August 19, 2010

Wellwood's World Chapter 2: The Oppressive Angst of Waiting

Oftentimes, no news is good news. That is definitely not the case when you're an NHL free agent in the off-season. And when you're a hockey blogger who happens to be a fan of said NHL free agent, no news is excruciating.

We here at Pass it To Bulis! have made no secret of our love for Kyle Wellwood in all his weirdness (though I can't speak for newest PiTB-er, Qris). We think he's nifty and neat, to say the least. And we promised monthly updates with the first chapter of Wellwood's World in July. Unfortunately, it's one month later and there's very little material with which to update.

I certainly thought we'd be discussing his signing with an NHL club in this August chapter of Wellwood's World; don't other NHL teams know he's a defensive superstar? Don't they know he's a mutant with undisclosed superpowers? Don't they know he has 13 points in his last 22 playoff games? Don't they know his faceoff percentage was 53.8%, good for 18th in the NHL?

There aren't even any good rumors floating around. The Vancouver Sun could only manage an article about how tough it is for Kyle Wellwood to still be unsigned at this point in the off-season. In other words, they turned the lack of news into news. Just like I turned the lack of news into a blogpost.

Wellwood hasn't let the angst of free agency get him down (he's likely instead pondering the meaning of free agency in a world that seems intent on defining humanity by limiting real, meaningful choices and instead providing the illusion of choice) and indeed seems to be developing a marked sense of grandeur:
“Obviously, Europe has been after me for a long time and I haven't wanted to go there yet.”
That's the spirit of individualism! All of Europe has been after Kyle, but he has made his own choice to use his talents as he sees fit! Who is John Galt? It seems that he is, after all, Kyle Wellwood!

Wait, he's just talking about the European hockey leagues? Well nevermind then. Here's a picture of a Kyle Wellwood Mii my wife and I made.


  1. Thanks for the update, Skeeter. I was tempted to write this myself, but it's just so depressing thinking that Kyle Wellwood is still unemployed. I make a half-hearted motion to rename this blog Pass it to Wellwood, at least in our hearts.

  2. Also, not loving Wellwood is a dealbreaker. If Qris does not love him, he and I simply cannot be friends.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...