Rypien Story Goes From Ridiculous to Ridiculously Ridiculous

Not since Abe Lincoln has someone been vilified so quickly.

The media buffet on this Rick Rypien incident only opened last night, but I'm already full. It's been wall to wall Rypper today, as everyone wants to weigh in on the abomination he committed last night. The good news is that the incident has overshadowed the abomination the Canucks committed last night. The bad news? Rick Rypien just passed Killer Moth on the list of the worst villains ever, and he's closing in on Calendar Man. Rick Rypien would like you to believe he's not a baby eater. But he's never gone on record saying he isn't. Maybe it's because he's too busy eating babies. Yes, his public crucifixion is getting a little ridiculous, especially when you consider that he merely grabbed the fan. He didn't hit him; he didn't bite him; he didn't poke him in the eye.

He just grabbed him. For about three seconds. And yet the fan is threatening to sue.

Rypien deserves to be suspended. You can't do what he did--it was stupid, and he deserves to sit out a few games. But when he touched that fan (James Engquist), it was dumb on dumb. This fan is a stupid guy.

I didn't want to weigh in on this. I feel like we covered all there is to this last night in the IWTG. But, like Rypien, I've been provoked by James Engquist who, in his interview with Michael Russo (quoted below) gave himself away as a certified gomer. Here is James describing what instigated the incident:

"I was just standing straight up applauding as he was getting kicked out. He was out of control. And then I said, 'Way to be professional,' and he obviously didn’t care for that comment [...]

Few would care for that comment, you pinhead. James. Rypien is a man who makes a living punching people in the face. He was, in your own words "out of control" with anger, and you decided to stand up, applaud, and make a snide comment? A comment about professionalism to an enraged fighter. Sounds to me like you deserved to see his profession first-hand. A better option would have been to not infuriate an already irate pugilist. The first guy I punch when I'm being kicked out of somewhere is the guy who makes a snide comment once I'm no longer restrained. Here is James describing the fear he felt:

[He] decided to grab me and almost dragged me over the rail. If my brother wasn’t grabbing me and the other player wasn't grabbing him, he probably would have dragged me over the edge."

Man, that is a whole lot of grabbing going on in this story. That must have been terrifying for you, James. Had he succeeded in dragging you over the edge, as you claim (despite the video showing you were never even close) you would have been dragged over the edge. I don't know what happens next, but I'll bet it involves you being briefly on the other side of the edge.

"This is a crazy incident. I’ve seen a lot of hockey in my day, and I’ve never seen someone actually come into the stands and assault a fan," said Engquist.

Really? You've seen a lot of hockey and you've never seen this? Because that's what you're describing, and it's not what happened to you. Rypien didn't come into the stands and he didn't assault you. He grabbed you. Apart from increasing the value of your hockey jersey in online auctions, he accomplished very little when he touched you for three seconds.

Engquist said he is "definitely seeking legal representation. ... I was assaulted, that's just the bottom line."

No you weren't. You were touched. I've seen children grab the hem of their mother's housedress harder. Sadly, I'm sure there's a waaahmbulance-chaser out there, willing to slap a neck brace on you and claim Rypien dislocated your spine, but you should know that you just went from folk hero to total loser in one sentence.

Assault? Please. You were hit harder by the fans you high-fived on your way to better seats. You're fine, James. Let it go, like Rypien did, three seconds after he grabbed you.

And if this does go to court, let the record show that you lied about having seen a lot of hockey, since you've never seen the Milbury/O'Reilly incident. What else are you lying about, James? Better keep your stories straight....