Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Wild, October 19, 2010

Canucks 2 - 6 Wild

So we watched this game, and when our eyes began to bleed, and we began to shout expletives at John Garrett, we realized that we might have anger management issues. I know I do. I'm still on a lengthy timeout from Settlers of Catan after what happened last time.

The Minnesota Wild bagskated through all of their issues, and may have created an unnecessary goaltending controversy by scoring six goals on a Canucks team that looked as out of sync as 'N Sync without Justin Timberlake. (He was the N. Look it up.) To be frank: the Canucks sucked quite hard tonight. Quite hard indeed. So let's get right into it.

  • Rick Rypien is going to get hecka suspended. If you missed the game, here's what happened: After a fight with Brad Staubitz, Rypien tried to fight him again. Not sure why. He tagged Staubitz in the first fight, thereby making his point. When the refs broke up the second fight before it got started, Rypper kind of went insane. He took a cheap shot at Staubitz with the referees between them. Then, as he was being removed from the game, a couple of fans unwisely applauded. This is all they did, but Rypien went berserker on them (video above). The fans were removed for their part in the altercation (removed to other, better seats), but they didn't really do anything. In fact, the guy in the red shirt was just trying to protect his friend; neither guy instigated anything. Rypien has already been suspended indefinitely, pending review by the league. His only hope is that somebody commits a blindside hit to somebody else's head before the night is up, because that will steal all his suspension-thunder.
  • Sidenote: suspension thunder is the name of the accessory holding my pants up. And Skeeter's electro-pop side project.
  • Did we mention the Canucks were terrible tonight? Because oh my, yes, they were. Incredibly, in a 6-2 rout, only one Canuck was a minus-2. It was Ryan Parent, who looked a little like he should only play in a game when three top six defensemen are injured.
  • As the team's official whipping boy, Bieksa is going to get flamed for everything, but he actually did not play poorly this evening. Neither did he play well, but nobody else did either, and it didn't help him that his partner, Ryan Parent, was the worst player on the ice. Bieksa will be especially vilified for his role in the Wild's fourth goal, where it appeared he was puck chasing in the defensive zone. However, he was merely covering up for Ryan Parent, who was floating in the neutral zone like a scoop of ice cream in a mug of root beer. (In this analogy, root beer is neutral, like Switzerland.)
  • Skeeter would like to point out that three of the Wild goals came on the powerplay and do not figure in to the plus/minus statistic. The Wild powerplay, by the way, was remarkable. If it weren't so infuriating to watch, it might have been fun to watch.
  • Holy smokes. John Garrett has huge ears. Skeeter's wife: "Those ears are 100 years old."
  • There wasn't a goaltending controversy before tonight's game, and there probably still shouldn't be, but Roberto Luongo wasn't good tonight. In Vancouver, where the fans only remember the game prior to the one they just watched, Luongo suddenly looks like a zero and Cory Schneider suddenly looks like the hero Bonnie Tyler's been holding out for. It may not be an actual goaltender controversy, but the media is sure as Hell going to cover it like it is.
  • Daniel Sedin is still on pace for 82 goals. He is also on pace for 82 games.
  • Henrik Sedin is on pace for an assist every time Daniel scores a goal.
  • As usual, the Sedins racked up points completely unrelated to what the rest of the team was doing. Henrik looked especially good on this Tanner Glassian spinorama. Is it just me, or is everybody on the Canucks suddenly doing this move? This may be Henrik's influence as captain. If Tanner Glass was captain, suddenly everybody would be unsuitable for the third line.
  • Speaking of line combinations, I think it's safe to say that Raymond and the Sedins have run their course. Remember that we hated it from the start. Why a fence has been built between Samuelsson and his proper linemates is beyond us. But perhaps he can conquer it with love? Probably not. Love is just an abstract concept. It can't knock down stuff.
  • Also: Peter Schaefer, in an abomination of Biblical proportions, started the game on the second line. Does nobody scroll to the bottom of our posts and read the labels? When will they learn!! Why can't you read the labels?!
  • On the bright side tonight: Teletoon aired the Futurama pilot post-game, and it remains as excellent as the day it first aired. It also remains as timely, as its preponderance of suicide booths seem particularly appropriate after tonight's hockey game.


  1. Did you see Luongo's career SV% at the Xcel Centre before tonight? It is abyssmal. Something like .802%. I cannot fathom why AV would put him on the ice when Schneider played so well last night. Or at least didn't pull him after the first period. On the bright side maybe if AV completely looses his mind and starts him tomorrow he won't let in so many goal...

  2. We need Keith Ballard back to talk some sense into Luongo FAST.

  3. As always, solid and enjoyable recap. 'Pass it to Bulis' has quietly crept to the top of my daily RSS feeds.

    One thing though, I'm not sure Kesler alone can make his line qualify as the 'second'.

  4. Good point, Ablefish. But it's probably hard for Kesler to call the monstrosity on which he skates "the second line" when it contains Peter Schaefer, the very essence of the fourth-line player. I would assume, if I saw either Peter Schaefer or Tanner Glass on my wing, I could be nowhere but the 4th.

  5. BTW, in Ripper's defense he just looked up and saw the Minny jersey and attacked... Maybe he didn't realize it was a fan and thought it was a player? Kind of like a bull seeing red... ;)

  6. *Gasp* Minnesota's jerseys are red!

    Do you think Rypien is a bull? It wouldn't be the first time an animal tricked us into thinking it was human, just so that it could play organized sports. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-gwuML2vYE

  7. @Scott That's about the only defense he's got. Except...the guy is wearing a road-white jersey. *sigh*

    Rypper is going to get 10 games for this and it can't be argued against. I mean, I'll argue against the dullards who call Rypien a psychopath, animal, or thug, invoke Ron Artest, 'roid rage, or Bertuzzi, and call for a season-long suspension, but I can't argue that what Rypien did crossed the line and deserves a suspension. I'm guessing 10 games, it could be more or less.

    One of the oddities is the linesman who wouldn't let go of Rypien as he tried to go to the bench and down the tunnel. It looked like AV had to step in and pry him off of Rypien. That certainly didn't help matters. Sadly, none of this would have happened if Rypien and Staubitz had just been able to drop the gloves for round two.

  8. I had a bad feeling about the game as soon as Schaefer showed up on the "second" line (which happened after we went up 1-0). You couldn't be more right about how poorly Kesler has been treated.

    We really need Burrows to come back, and we need him to play with a vengeance. We also need AV to wake up (last night was the first time that I've found myself truly disliking him) and at least put some decent lines together.

    As far as the Rypien situation is concerned, I'm fairly neutral. Everyone knows not to mess with the fans. No matter what, what Rypper did is suspension worthy. That said, the whole thing could have been avoided if the linesmen had handled the situation correctly.

    Basically, I'm just parroting what other, smarter people have said. I'll try to contribute more next time. :)


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