Eyewitness Report: Canucks Superskills Competition

The annual Canucks Superskills event is a treat for Canucks fans, especially for fans who can't afford the price of admission to a regular game. The cheaper ticket price, combined with the fun atmosphere and events on the concourse, make it a great chance for parents to give their kids a closer look at their hockey heroes. It also manages to make me feel like a kid again, as I attended my second Superskills event last night. As an added bonus, all proceeds go to the Canucks For Kids Fund.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Blues, February 24, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Blues

I feel like we've been spouting this statistic a lot lately, but the Canucks still haven't lost two consecutive regulation games since November. I used to be impressed; now I'm just annoyed. I mean, they keep alternating wins and losses, forcing me to point to this statistic every second game. No more, friends. Here's a new stat: the Canucks haven't won two consecutive games in regulation since the beginning of this month. In short, the Canucks are probably sellers.

Okay, maybe not, especially not after a victory (he said, sounding a lot like a shortsighted NHL GM). I'm not a fan of the alternating wins and losses, but I'm a fan of the wins, and I quite enjoyed the effort the team put forth in order to get one last night. The Canucks had another solid response game, bouncing back from the loss to the Montreal Canadiens with a complete team effort versus the St. Louis Blues. Every line was effective, Cory Schneider played great in net, and the Canucks fended off a team in dire need of points to collect two of their own. Additionally (and most importantly), I watched this game:

• The Canucks' third line has been excellent since being reunited the last time the Canucks played the Blues on February 14. How appropriate that their chemistry would be rekindled on Valentine's Day (for inappropriate ways to build chemistry, see the Lonely Island). The third line has 11 points, combined, in their last six games, and has contributed 6 goals. For the slow-witted: that's a goal a game. If you can count on your third line for a goal each game, you'll probably do all right.

• I was impressed that John Garrett's Hockey Know How segment (often a strange segment in which Garrett seems oddly unacquainted with the clip he himself has selected), managed to actually inform me for once. He went over the game-winning goal (above), pointing out the way Torres's hit on Colaiacovo not only freed up the puck, but took his man away from the net and out of the play. In fact, Torres didn't even really hit him--he just moved him. There was more, though. Hansen picked up an assist on the goal in the only way he knows how: with a pokecheck. Gosh, Hansen loves to poke. If he ever commits a serious crime, we need to make sure the judge doesn't order him to do trash pickup for community service. He'd have way too much fun.

• Manny Malhotra scored the game-winner, which was a major windfall for him and his line, but I don't like the way people are talking as though he's finally contributing. Malhotra took 2 faceoffs in the offensive zone and 12 in the defensive zone. Vigneault doesn't put him on the ice to score.

• Raffi Torres had a game-high 5 hits, a couple impressive backchecks (2 takeaways), and zero baffling passes to nowhere. Kudos.

• I watched tonight's game with Cam Davie of Canucks Army, who is a quality dude. Just wanted to throw that out there.
  

• You want to talk Wizardous Sedinerie? How about Mikael Samuelsson's goal, which comes by way of some remarkable cycling by the Sedins in the corner. Seriously, they make the St. Louis defensemen look like the Washington Generals. The Sedins cycled so spectacularly nobody even noticed they were on motorcycles the whole time. And make no mistake: Tanev may have been sneaking in the backdoor, but that pass really was meant for Samuelsson. Only Henrik Sedin thinks of passing into someone's gut, but that's what he did.

• You might not have noticed, but Aaron Rome finished the game with less icetime than Keith Ballard. To quote Werner Herzog in Encounters at the End of the World, "Is this a great moment?" Yes it is. Ballard simply brings more to the table than Rome, and it appears that he's finally earning his coach's trust. Of course, Rome's reduced icetime might have to do with his play on the David Backes goal. Word of warning to amateur hockey players: never lazily sweep the puck to David Backes in the high slot. That's like giving a baby a loaded handgun. Worse, a baby with a history of assault with a firearm, like Maggie Simpson.
  

• Another reason for a reduction in Rome's icetime might have been the pairings: after Vigneault built himself a top four of Hamhuis with Ehrhoff and Ballard with Salo, Rome defaulted to the bottom pairing with low-minute man Chris Tanev. It definitely didn't take Hammy long to return to form. He played a game-high 23:53, finishing with four shots, two hits, and two blocks. He also acted as a steadying presence for Ehrhoff, from whom we've seen some jittery play lately. Meanwhile, Ballard and Salo were paired together, which made a lot of sense. Once everyone's healthy, this is likely the bottom pairing for the Canucks, so it's wise of Alain Vigneault to put them together right away.
  

• It was great to see Sami Salo score, too, especially in the vintage way they he did it. Nobody is better at shading in from the point for that exact one-timer, and it's nice to see this weapon return. Salo's shot remains a laser. Heck, it's not just any laser, either; it's a moonraker. Short of the golden gun, Sami Salo's shot is the best weapon in Goldeneye 64.

• Tanner Glass only played five minutes in this game, but he was granted third star honours for his play in that time, as he finished a goal short of the Gordie Howe hat trick. He did, however, pick up a Tanner Glass hat-trick, which is a goal, an assist, and bevy of Scrabble jokes from the broadcast team (the best one courtesy of Dan Murphy, postgame). His pass to Salo showed some great vision, and his fight with BJ Crombeen gave the Canucks some life early in the first period. That fight, by the way, came after Crombeen claimed, just prior to the faceoff, that MENSWEAR was two words.

• The Canucks did a great job of keeping Alex Steen, somehow the Blues' Canuck-killer, off the scoresheet. He finished a minus-1 and had 4 of his shots blocked, more than any other player. Think Vigneault talked to his guys about this? I do. Mind you, the Canucks were blocking shots all over the place. They blocked 17 shots overall, including 11 from their defense alone, and 7 from the Ballard/Salo pairing. It worries me to think of Sami Salo blocking a lot of shots, but now that his bones are mush, how much damage can it really do?

• Welcome Damien Cox to Sportsnet, everyone. and stop throwing things at your televisions, that's what he wants. And you, get down from there. Don't you dare kick that chair out from underneath you.

• Rough second period for the Canucks, but that'll happen. Look no further than the Blues' first period. I could have sworn the Blues got a defenseman back when they traded Erik Johnson, but it looked to me like one of their defense pairings was missing a guy for the first twenty minutes. Did anyone notice that the Blues gave up 17 shots and about seventy-six odd-man rushes?

• And finally, Mason Raymond played a very good game. No goals and he missed some chances, but he generated more, and had six shots on net. I haven't been happy with his play of late (and I suspect, neither has he), but I hope he stays with the team through the deadline. If he can continue to play like he did tonight, it wouldn't be worth the jolt to team chemistry to bring someone else in.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Blues, December 5, 2010

and Daniel "Skeeter" Wagner

Canucks 2 - 3 Blues

Well, the Canucks lost. We don't even need to turn on the radio, or open the newspaper (or, God forbid, go to the Canucks.com forums) in order to know what the fickle fanbase is saying. They are saying: drat. And also much worse things. Trade Bieksa. Fire AV. Send Rome back to the press box. Women and children first. Burn the photo albums. Eat the living.

But before we start clamoring for our pound of flesh, let's be honest: it would take more than one pound to satisfy this many people. Instead, let's follow the lead of this season's Vancouver Canucks, and keep a level head. Two teams played tonight. One team won. Incidentally, the other team lost. Unfortunately (for our wives, who now have to deal with mopey husbands), we watched:

• When the Canucks lose, people blame Bieksa. He is easy to blame, like the kid that doesn't speak English. To that I say: poppycock. Bieksa does speak English; don't blame him. He had a few shaky moments, but Juice played 23 minutes, and in that time, he was even, with a goal (above), 6 hits, and 6 blocked shots.

• Obvious point: the Canucks were missing Mason Raymond tonight. They missed him more than I miss my G&L ASAT Classic Semi-Hollow when I'm away from home. His bout with the flu moved Jannik Hansen up to the second line, where he was usual pesterly self, scoring the Canuck's first goal by simply going hard to the net and keeping his eyes on the puck and stick on the ice. But his presence on the second line meant his absence was felt in the bottom-six.

• Alex Steen may have scored twice tonight, but Ryan Kesler was the best forward on the ice. He and Jannik Hansen were clearly on their games. Unfortunately, the rest of the Canucks forwards were not. It's not that they were terrible, they just weren't good. Kesler, on the other hand, shot like Nicolas Cage in Con Air, won faceoffs like Nicolas Cage in Face/Off, and dangled like Nicolas Cage in his unreleased sex tape (we assume). Unlike Nicolas Cage, he was quite good.

• Seriously, Kesler was incredible in the faceoff circle tonight. He won 13 and lost 2. Not to be outdone (although he slightly was), Manny Malhotra won 17 and lost 5. Again, he was primarily used in the defensive zone, where he went 12-for-14. Henrik had his second consecutive sub-par evening, going 8-for-17. The Sedins weren't bad tonight, but you've got to think that winning possession only 5 out of 11 times they started in the offensive zone cut down on their chances.

• I have a bone to pick and a few to break. When a colour guy claims the puck beat the goalie but not the post, he is wallowing in ignorance. The goaltender tends the vacant area inside the posts; he does not tend the posts. He is, in fact, a netminder, as he only minds the net. The net is attached to the post; it is not the post. The post is a post. This is to say that the goaltender was not beat. If the puck goes past the goalie and into the end boards, nobody says, he beat the goalie, but not the end boards. Tip: if it doesn't count as a shot on net, it doesn't need to be saved.

• On the plus side for the broadcast team, Shorty is awesome. I loved when he started complaining that the instigator is never called anymore after Coliacavo cross-checked Ballard in the face in retaliation for a hip check. Shorty: is a cross-check not an instigation? Garrett: It's a cross-checking penalty. Shorty: Is a cross-check not a way to instigate a fight?

• That said, this is the second game in a row where Ballard has been cross-checked in the face. Luongo may have a head made for poking, but Ballard has a face made for perpendicular stick shafts.

• Not to question AV's coaching, but I have a few questions, vis-a-vis, AV's coaching. First, what's up with Keith Ballard? He was plus-2 and had 1 assist tonight in his usual 13 minutes of ice time. Second, what's up with Keith Ballard's minutes? He should play more, considering he was on the ice for both Vancouver goals and none of St. Louis's. Third, what up with that? Is this because he fell down once? I fall down all the time. Life doesn't reduce my minutes..... does it?

• It doesn't, does it? I mean, seriously, I'm freaking out.

• If you're looking for someone to blame, look to the E section of the Canucks' roster. The Ehrhoff/Edler pairing were both minus-2 in a tight game. Both looked out of sync tonight. On a good night, they're going to register more than 3 shots between them. We noticed their powerplay work was a bit off, as their timing on pinches down the boards was creaky, and it lost zone possession on a few crucial instances. In fact, if you're ever wondering where to start on the statsheet, look to Christian Ehrhoff's plus/minus. It's his whole game; he whistles up and down that stat line. He's always on the ice for goals--you just hope they're for the Canucks.

• Dan Hamhuis had an iffy game as well. He had five shots blocked. It goes without saying your defenders need to get their shots through. But we said it anyway. We are a team of Mavericks. Skeeter is the consummate Maverick.

• More blame could go to the Canucks powerplay, which was 0-for-5, but the real reason the Canucks lost? They didn't #WinDaTurd. You see, locked in a tie going into da turd, winning da turd would have, ergo, won da game.

• We were hoping Brad Winchester would have a bad night and be responsible for a goal or something, so we could make the following joke: Winchester is bad at keeping out goals. Also, zombies.

• So it turns out I fall down all the time because I'm dying. You've won this round, life.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Wild, October 19, 2010

Canucks 2 - 6 Wild

So we watched this game, and when our eyes began to bleed, and we began to shout expletives at John Garrett, we realized that we might have anger management issues. I know I do. I'm still on a lengthy timeout from Settlers of Catan after what happened last time.

The Minnesota Wild bagskated through all of their issues, and may have created an unnecessary goaltending controversy by scoring six goals on a Canucks team that looked as out of sync as 'N Sync without Justin Timberlake. (He was the N. Look it up.) To be frank: the Canucks sucked quite hard tonight. Quite hard indeed. So let's get right into it.

• Rick Rypien is going to get hecka suspended. If you missed the game, here's what happened: After a fight with Brad Staubitz, Rypien tried to fight him again. Not sure why. He tagged Staubitz in the first fight, thereby making his point. When the refs broke up the second fight before it got started, Rypper kind of went insane. He took a cheap shot at Staubitz with the referees between them. Then, as he was being removed from the game, a couple of fans unwisely applauded. This is all they did, but Rypien went berserker on them (video above). The fans were removed for their part in the altercation (removed to other, better seats), but they didn't really do anything. In fact, the guy in the red shirt was just trying to protect his friend; neither guy instigated anything. Rypien has already been suspended indefinitely, pending review by the league. His only hope is that somebody commits a blindside hit to somebody else's head before the night is up, because that will steal all his suspension-thunder.
• Sidenote: suspension thunder is the name of the accessory holding my pants up. And Skeeter's electro-pop side project.
• Did we mention the Canucks were terrible tonight? Because oh my, yes, they were. Incredibly, in a 6-2 rout, only one Canuck was a minus-2. It was Ryan Parent, who looked a little like he should only play in a game when three top six defensemen are injured.
• As the team's official whipping boy, Bieksa is going to get flamed for everything, but he actually did not play poorly this evening. Neither did he play well, but nobody else did either, and it didn't help him that his partner, Ryan Parent, was the worst player on the ice. Bieksa will be especially vilified for his role in the Wild's fourth goal, where it appeared he was puck chasing in the defensive zone. However, he was merely covering up for Ryan Parent, who was floating in the neutral zone like a scoop of ice cream in a mug of root beer. (In this analogy, root beer is neutral, like Switzerland.)
• Skeeter would like to point out that three of the Wild goals came on the powerplay and do not figure in to the plus/minus statistic. The Wild powerplay, by the way, was remarkable. If it weren't so infuriating to watch, it might have been fun to watch.
• Holy smokes. John Garrett has huge ears. Skeeter's wife: "Those ears are 100 years old."
• There wasn't a goaltending controversy before tonight's game, and there probably still shouldn't be, but Roberto Luongo wasn't good tonight. In Vancouver, where the fans only remember the game prior to the one they just watched, Luongo suddenly looks like a zero and Cory Schneider suddenly looks like the hero Bonnie Tyler's been holding out for. It may not be an actual goaltender controversy, but the media is sure as Hell going to cover it like it is.
• Daniel Sedin is still on pace for 82 goals. He is also on pace for 82 games.
• Henrik Sedin is on pace for an assist every time Daniel scores a goal.
• As usual, the Sedins racked up points completely unrelated to what the rest of the team was doing. Henrik looked especially good on this Tanner Glassian spinorama. Is it just me, or is everybody on the Canucks suddenly doing this move? This may be Henrik's influence as captain. If Tanner Glass was captain, suddenly everybody would be unsuitable for the third line.
• Speaking of line combinations, I think it's safe to say that Raymond and the Sedins have run their course. Remember that we hated it from the start. Why a fence has been built between Samuelsson and his proper linemates is beyond us. But perhaps he can conquer it with love? Probably not. Love is just an abstract concept. It can't knock down stuff.
• Also: Peter Schaefer, in an abomination of Biblical proportions, started the game on the second line. Does nobody scroll to the bottom of our posts and read the labels? When will they learn!! Why can't you read the labels?!
• On the bright side tonight: Teletoon aired the Futurama pilot post-game, and it remains as excellent as the day it first aired. It also remains as timely, as its preponderance of suicide booths seem particularly appropriate after tonight's hockey game.