Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ruminations on That Chelsea Dagger Video

By now, perhaps you've seen the above video, but if, for some reason, you are religiously opposed to Youtube (in which case, wtf are you doing on the internet?), here's what you need to know: in Chicago, when the Blackhawks score, the arena plays "Chelsea Dagger" by the Fratellis every time. EVERY. TIME.

For many Canucks fans, this is a bone of serious contention. This song assaulted their ears seven times in game six, crushing their playoff dreams. But not mine. I got married last year on May the 9th. Our rehearsal dinner was on May the 7th. We left for our honeymoon immediately after the reception. Since 2001, I've never missed three Canucks games in a row, excepting that week, when I was forced to choose the woman I loved over the twenty-something men I loved almost as much.

All of this is to say that I only heard the song once, in game 3 on May the 5th. Everything after that is a mystery to me, and, suffice it to say, nobody was talking about the Canucks when I got back. I remember watching the ticker on ESPN, the best we could do on the boat, during game six. Every time it would cycle back to the Canucks the score would be different. When the Canucks went up 5-4 in the third, we went down to the cruise ship sports bar, thinking there might be other desperate Vancouver fans zealously watching the ticker, waiting to see a positive final score. But, by the time we got to the sports bar--at the other end of the boat, Kane had scored twice and Toews once. It was horrible. We drowned our sorrows in some really big chicken strips. I can only imagine how much worse to have our feelings of utter disappointment soundtracked by the Fratellis seven times. It was cruel of Global BC to toy with the painful memories of the Canucks during this segment. Werner Herzog knew not to do this (if you saw Grizzly Man you know what I'm talking about). Just goes to show why Herzog's palling around with arctic biologists who discover three new species a day, and Barnes has been showing British Columbians amusing German beer commercials at noon since the day I was born.

Anyway, here's some other stuff I noticed.
  • Shane O'Brien likes to party. Even though the song dredges up his most painful memories, he still can barely resist bustin' out the pistols.
  • Kesler looks like you just played him the Timothy Treadwell death tape (seriously, why is Grizzly Man all I can think of?).
  • It takes Steve Bernier a really long time to realize what song is playing. He's a bit thick, isn't he?
  • And finally, the song is so gut-wrenching for Daniel Sedin that he turns in perhaps the best impression of Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man we've ever seen by a Vancouver Canuck. He can barely form a sentence.
I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say, here's hoping that song is a rarity for the rest of this year's playoffs.

1 comment:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...