Monday, April 19, 2010

The San Jose Sharks are Cursed

It is now official: the San Jose Sharks are cursed. How else do you explain the absurdity of losing a game in which they outshot the Colorado Avalanche 51 to 17 on one of the most ridiculous own-goals in playoffs history? So, what exactly caused this curse?

Did they trade away Babe Ruth for his weight in peanuts? That seems far-fetched, mainly as The Bambino died in 1948 and the Sharks didn't enter the NHL until 1991.

Are they suffering from the legendary Buffalo Curse, an affliction common to all Buffalo sports-teams, preventing them from winning a major championship? Considering the two cities are approximately 2684 miles driving distance apart, this one seems unlikely.

Have the Sharks ever appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated? The answer, of course, is no: they are a hockey team.

Owen Nolan, when he was captain of the Sharks, did appear on the cover of EA's NHL 2001. That curse, however, is thought only to apply to EA's Madden NFL games. While the Sharks did finish 2nd in the Pacific and lost in the Conference Quarterfinals, it was prior to the lockout and the acquisition of Joe Thornton. It was, however, the first year for Evgeni Nabakov as full-time starter for the Sharks. Hrm...

Did the Sharks at any point in their history employ cheerleaders? Did they fail to renew their contract? Where they named the Honey Sharks? Probably not.

Do any Sharks fans have a goat for a pet? The official policy at the HP Pavilion is "no animals," but there's no indication as to whether anyone has attempted to bring a goat inside and was refused.

Are any of the Sharks players superstitious enough to hire a witch doctor to curse their opponent and cheap enough not to pay him? Perhaps. Someone closer to the Sharks organization would need to confirm or deny this one.

While there are certainly some potential sources for a curse. If I were a Sharks fan, I'd be looking desperately for a curse as an explanation. The alternative is far too depressing.

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