Quotes Taken Out of Context: Staios Edition

"If Ethan’s mom was coming back from injury, I think he’d take a run at her."

- Steve Staios, April 2, 2011

Cory Schneider Needs to Play Two More Games

The William M. Jennings Trophy is awarded annually to the goalies for the team that allows the fewest goals against. The Vancouver Canucks have allowed 181 goals this season, three fewer than the Boston Bruins, who have four games remaining to the Canucks three. If the Canucks can avoid ugly performances like Saturday's flop, there's a good chance that the Canucks goalies will take home the prize.

Or rather, Roberto Luongo will take home the prize.

Leave Cody Hodgson Alone

Cody Hodgson's not a bust! He's a human being!

The injury to Manny Malhotra has left the Canucks' third line in a state of disarray. It's a substantial hole, and the Canucks have struggled to fill it, promoting fourth-line centers such as Maxim Lapierre and Alex Bolduc, as well as converting wingers such as Jannik Hansen and Mason Raymond. All of these experiments have been met with mixed success. The answer, it seems, is evasive.

Tony Gallagher believes it's in the AHL. If the need is a natural center with some offensive talent, Gallagher (and many others) want to know why the Canucks haven't called up Cody Hodgson. Here's why: another Cody Hodgson recall won't help anybody. Not the Canucks, not Hodgson.

Right now, the best thing for everyone would be to leave Cody Hodgson alone.

Can You Name the Entire 2010-11 Canucks Roster?

Be warned: this cat took the quiz, and now he struggles with confidence.

The Canucks dressed a lot of different guys this season. There were injuries on the backend that necessitated absurd callups. There was a season-long search for the right fit on the fourth line. There was cap trouble. Whatever the reason, 39 guys wore the orca in 2010-11, and PITB has created a Sporcle quiz that will test your ability to remember them all. You might be shocked to discover how quickly you forget.

Seriously. I made the quiz, took it five minutes later, and only got 36 of 39. Am I the biggest idiot ever? Maybe. Or maybe it's just more difficult than it sounds. Click the link below to see for yourself, and don't forget to come back here and let us know how you did.

| Fine, I'll Take Your Stupid Quiz |

Two helpful hints: the roster is alphabetical, and you only have to enter last names.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Oilers, April 2, 2011

Canucks 1 - 4 Oilers

Last night was a bewildering stinker, the likes of which we haven't seen in months, and it makes sense. While the Canucks didn't throw in the towel, there was literally no motivation for them to play hard last night, apart from the fact that it was the right thing to do. The game meant nothing to them. Meanwhile, the Oilers were motivated. For them, a Hockey Night in Canada tilt against the best team in hockey (and a team they thoroughly despise), is reason enough to go all out. They did, too: the Oilers played a fabulous game, and unfortunately for Vancouver, this admirable effort coincided with the Canucks laying down a complete turd. I watched this turd game:

• How can you tell the Canucks were woefully out of sync tonight? The Sedins went offside once. Think about the last time you saw that happen. It's nigh impossible for the twins to go offside. Watch their Superskills puck relay. They're the same person.

• It's probably safe to say that Yann Sauve won't see any playoff games. He was bad last night. Two of the Oilers' four goals were directly the fault of his poor positioning. On the Omark goal, Sauve (#47) drifts into no-man's land, turned completely the wrong way. When the puck is centered, he's so far out of position that he trips over Cory Schneider, taking them both out of the play. On the Paajarvi goal, that's Sauve in the corner, losing his religion.

• I wish I could counsel you to take this loss lightly, but I'm afraid I have some bad news: if you lose to the worst team in hockey, you become the worst team in hockey. It's like a zombie bite.

• Tanner Glass took a few hard punches for his efforts, but give him credit for trying--in his first game back from injury--to kickstart the team by dropping the gloves with JF Jacques. Considering he missed a handful of games with a rib problem that made it painful to shoot or pass the puck, I suspect that he also felt some pain trying to throw a fist with full force. No surprise, then, that he did not win this fight, and he probably lost another one when he went home and his fiancé Emily reminded him he promised he wouldn't fight tonight.

• With Andrew Alberts nearing full health, Aaron Rome is one Canuck who still has something to play for. He's played in 53 games this season, averaging 17:27, and you've got to imagine it would be hell to be scratched through the playoffs after getting used to that kind of playing time. Rome showcased his Alberts-like hittiness all night, throwing some big hits, including this hipcheck on JF Jacques, and this glorious hipcheck on Ladislav Smid at the end the first period. My favourite part of the latter clip is when he's skating to the bench, and he says something to an Edmonton player. I can't tell what it is; I've never been much for lipreading. My best guess is something about fondue.

• Jeff Tambellini had a team-low 11:20, which is mighty impressive, considering he started the game on the second line. Tambellini was not good. He had three shots, all right into the logo, and the play died on his stick more than a few times. I remember one particular instance where Kesler got him the puck behind the net, and he weakly centered it to nobody. It may as well have been an Edmonton outlet pass. Think his dad was impressed? If Tambellini signs with the Oilers next season as a defensemen, we'll know why.

• What's your take on Cory Schneider tonight? I thought he wasn't at his best. He made a bunch of really incredible saves, but a few of the goals seemed to be easier stops, and he let them by. Jordan Eberle's goal, for instance, was a classic case of losing the post, and on the Magnus Paajarvi goal, he wasn't square to the shooter. I know what's going on here, though: Schneider's pissed that he won't get enough games to have a share in the Jennings trophy, so he's trying to throw the trophy altogether. Cory Schneider is the mother in 1 Kings Chapter 3 who would rather cut the child in half.

• Nobody played particularly well last night, but I thought Jannik Hansen played particularly poorly. The third line lost possession a handful of times because Hansen was getting muscled off the puck and he wasn't winning puck battles. He finished with under twelve minutes of icetime, second lowest to Jeff Tambellini. Here's a helpful maxim: when Jannik Hansen is being punished for a poor effort, the team is probably having a bad night. Here it is in rhyme form: Bad game for Jannik? Good time to panic.

• I don't mind Mason Raymond at center. Raymond seems to be relishing the extra space, and the line is generating scoring chances. Most importantly, I haven't seen a MayRay-Go-Round since he was taken off the wing. It's hard to go around the net when you come through the middle. Raymond also won 4 of 7 faceoffs, including 3 of 4 in the offensive zone. This is especially noteworthy because CBC showed footage of Raymond and Glass working on their faceoff technique, and Raymond was getting absolutely smoked. At the time, I thought, if you can't beat Tanner Glass even once, you probably shouldn't be taking faceoffs at all.

• Henrik Sedin was actually the best faceoff man on the night, winning 11 of 16 draws.

• Speaking of Henrik, I couldn't help but chuckle on Alex Burrows' goal. After Henrik and Burrows break out 2-on-1, three Oilers scramble to catch up to the play. Two of them make it and, joining the last man back, all three simply surround Henrik Sedin. Burrows really has no choice but to shoot. If he had tried to pass it, Henrik would have been dogpiled. He probably would have disappeared into a cartoonish fight cloud.

• Christian Ehrhoff played over twenty-five minutes last night. Is that necessary? Granted, he's the Canucks best offensive defenseman and having him on the ice is the best way to mount a comeback, but Ehrhoff's logged a lot of time this season. In a mean-nothing game, three games before the playoffs, I'd rather his minutes are limited than see him play 10:03 of the third period trying to get Vancouver back into it. Ehrhoff needs rest, or he'll never beat JFK in a drag race.

• The Oilers played exceptionally physical last night, especially on the Sedins. Each time Daniel or Henrik had the puck behind the net, the Oiler defenders began a rigorous cross-checking regimen designed to turn their spines to pudding.

The Presidents' Trophy Matters (For, Like, One More Week)

Stop clapping, damn it! Aside from the thing they won, they haven't won anything!

By now, you've probably heard the news that the Canucks have won the Presidents' Trophy. You've probably also heard some of the subsequent chatter surrounding the merit of the accomplishment. You may have heard, for instance, that this trophy doesn't matter, that only playoff success matters. That is patently false, and you likely heard it from fools.

What Are Your Top Five Moments of Wizardous Sedinerie?

Image from Blue Soup.

In just under two weeks, PITB will be counting down our top 5 moments of Wizardous Sedinerie from the 2010-11 season, just as we did last year. Solemn guarantee: it's gonna be a sweet list. While there isn't a de facto number one this year, that doesn't mean the Sedins have been scoring boring. They've done some mind-blowing stuff this year.

I've managed to pare their ever-expanding highlight reel down to 12 wizardous plays, all of which are embedded after the jump. I'm angling for a top five, and I could use some reader input. If you've got the time (and I know you do, slacker), watch the clips. When you feel you've given each play a fair viewing, give me your five favourites, either in the comments, via tweet, using the hashtag #sedintop5. In two weeks, we'll unveil the official list.

Be warned, however: five minutes watching their highlights and you'll lose the ability to find joy in the simple play. The next time someone dumps the puck in instead of cutting across the blue line and making a drop pass to his identical twin, you'll scream at the television. You'll see an open guy, and wonder why his teammate didn't make the simple no-look, backhand saucer bank pass off the boards his defender was giving him. You'll see your guy getting crosschecked in the back and you'll wonder why he isn't calling for the puck. The Sedins are hockey ecstasy. The Sedins will ruin you.

1. Vs. Avalanche, November 24, 2010 (Daniel Sedin)
   
2. Vs. Lightning, December 11, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
   
3. Vs. Blue Jackets, December 23, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
4. Vs. Oilers, December 12, 2010 (Alex Burrows)
5. Vs. Stars, December 31, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
6. Vs. Flyers, December 28, 2010 (Daniel Sedin)
7. Vs. Sharks, January 03, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
8. Vs. Oilers, January 07, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
9. Vs. Stars, February 19, 2011 (Henrik Sedin)
10. Vs. Sharks, January 20, 2011 (Henrik Sedin)
11. Vs. Predators, March 29, 2011 (Alex Burrows)
12. Vs. Kings, March 31, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
    

Edit: the official list has been unveiled. Go HERE to check out which plays fell where.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Kings, March 31, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

Make no mistake: the Presidents' Trophy is a pretty huge deal. Ignore anyone who dismisses it. It matters. Canucks fans have conditioned themselves to say it doesn't--that only playoff success matters--but, if we're being honest with ourselves, that's only because we've never even been close to this accomplishment. We've steeled ourselves against the Presidents' Trophy and, heck, the value of regular season dominance, too, because it's never been within our purview. Now that it is? It feels pretty good. It feels momentous. Is it momentous? I'd say it's momentous. In last night's game, the Canucks won the Presidents' Trophy. I watched this [momentous] game:

• Henrik "Captain Hook" Sedin took two minor penalties in the first period, but they were obviously on purpose. Here's what I think happened: He asked Alain Vigneault for the night off and was denied, so he decided to take the first period off instead. What a diva.

• Daniel Sedin's game-tying goal in the second period came on a pretty drag move and an even prettier wrist shot. That drag move is classic Daniel. He's been pulling it all season, recently scoring a memorable powerplay goal with it versus Minnesota. Until last night, however, he hadn't seen any success with it during odd-man rushes. He couldn't have picked a better time to finally pull it off. Justin Bourne tweeted that Daniel Sedin won the Hart with this goal, but I'd caution him against reading too much into the "MVP!" chant started by the fans. That was clearly meant for Victor Oreskvich.

• Okay, maybe not. But we said last game that Victor Oreskovich may have earned a permanent roster spot. If it wasn't true then, it probably true now. Besides the assist, Oreskovich also had three hits, a blocked shot, and the takeaway that started the two-on-one. That came when he picked off off a telegraphed pass by Drew "Jon Kitna" Doughty, and muscled the puck outside blue line before deferring to Daniel. Probably a wise choice, deferring to Daniel. Had Oreskovich kept the puck, he'd probably be getting death threats today. From Daniel.
  

• The Canucks scored their first five-on-three goal of the season last night, which is almost as big a deal as capturing the Presidents' Trophy. That said, the team seemed more motivated to get Daniel his 100th point simply to score a goal. How can you tell? Daniel was taking slapshots. The unit kept swinging it around for him, and he kept firing it. You'll notice there's only four Canucks in the celebratory hug, too. After Daniel garners the first assist on Kesler's goal, Alex Burrows immediately turns to retrieve the puck for his linemate

• Christian Ehrhoff had a game-high eight shots tonight. One of them went in, too. Ehrhoff capped off an odd-man rush by scoring with .9 seconds to go in the second period. Los Angeles would not register a shot on net in the third, making Ehrhoff's goal the most devastating backbreaker since Bane on Batman.
  

• You heard that right. Down a goal, the Kings couldn't muster a single shot in the final period. Granted, without Anze Kopitar and Justin Williams, their forward corps are about as threatening as Veggie Tales, but give the Canucks credit. This comes on the heels of holding the Nashville Predators to only two shots in Tuesday's third period. I don't think we hear enough about the Canucks' league-best defensive play. They've allowed one goal in five straight games, and a few were just snack goals.

• The reffing tonight was pretty questionable, at times, most notably when Johnny Quick upended Alex Burrows on a scoring chance in front and got away with it. Not since Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas have I seen such blatant tripping.

• That said, the refs did make the right call when Kyle Clifford ran Chris Tanev dangerously into the end boards. The last time the Canucks played the Kings, we saw Alex Ponikarovsky hit Dan Hamhuis similarly, and referee Chris Lee only called a minor penalty. Then, the other night, Alex Burrows hit Vernon Fiddler similarly, and he took a major, which drew complaints, again, about Chris Lee's call in Los Angeles. Chris Lee was the referee tonight as well; he reallly had no choice but to make a stiffer call this time around. Let's be clear, though: Chris Tanev nearly got himself killed. Clifford and Tanev are coming in at full speed, and Tanev's body and skates are turned to the left. At the last second, Tanev turns his skates to the right, but fails to get his body fully turned before Clifford hits him. It's a split-second accident. Clifford meant to hit Tanev hard, but he didn't mean to hit him like that.

• There were two guys sitting directly behind Alain Vigneault in full drag, apparently going by the names "Daniella" and "Henrietta", and wearing bright pink t-shirts that said Hockey Luvin Homo. I wondered if this offended anyone. It offended me: Luvin needs an apostrophe, at least. Anyway, I'm fairly confident they were the Wayans brothers.

• I didn't mind Mason Raymond at center. He looked a little confused at times, but he performed decently in the faceoff circle (3-for-5), and Raffi Torres and Jannik Hansen looked energized and dangerous for the first time since Manny Malhotra went down. It would appear being Maxim Lapierre's wingers is about as disheartening as being Chris Brown's publicist.

• Speaking of Raffi Torres, he registered 3 hits in the game, narrowly missing his apparent goal of 100. Torres played like a man possessed, likely by one to three of Casper's brothers. Be it an opponent, the referee, or even just a patch of wide open space, he was hitting everything. He was like a human mallet in a lifesize game of Whack-a-Mole.

• And finally, I realize, now, that playing the theme for the West Wing, postgame, was a nice hat-tip to winning the Presidents' Trophy, but the music was just a tad too inspirational for my tastes. You'd have though the whole team finally arrived at the Great Valley. Everyone: Tina Turner released "Simply the Best" for a reason.