The Best of the Sedins, 2010-11 (10-6)

PITB's first post ever was a top 5 countdown of the best Sedin goals of last season, posted exactly a year ago today. We thought, in honour of our first birthday, and the fact that the Sedins are totally balls, it was time to return to our roots. What are blogs for if not for lists?

Unlike last year, there is no de facto number one, but there are about fifteen plays worthy of a spot in the top five. As a result, we've doubled the list, and will now be counting down the top ten Sedin plays of 2010-11. Be warned: this list is highly subjective. Last week's post, in which we shared 12 wizardous candidates, proved consensus on this issue to be impossible. As a result, we just decided to go with our gut, and I can safely say that my gut's never steered me wrong (apart from the time it asked for a bacon sundae).

Anyway. Here are plays 10 - 6. Check back here at 4pm sharp for the final five.

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Top 5 Canuck Hipchecks of 2010-11

Some say the hipcheck is a lost art in the NHL, but you'd be hard pressed to find a Vancouver fan that feels this way. The offseason additions of Keith Ballard and Dan Hamhuis, two defenders that love to hip check, made going wide versus the Canucks a downright dicey proposition. Eventually, even Aaron Rome fell in love with the hit, giving the Canucks three guys who could surprise with a hipcheck at seemingly any moment. The result: perhaps the only team in the NHL for whom the hipcheck was common.

I'm not sure Canucks fans realized how spoiled they were this season. With that in mind, PITB has compiled a countdown of the five finest hipchecks thrown by the boys in blue and green in the 2010-11:

20 Reasons Daniel Sedin Is Bad at Penalty Shots

"I suck at this."

With Daniel Sedin's failed penalty shot attempt Friday, the NHL scoring leader is now 0-for-4 in his career on penalty shots, and it's never really been close. He's bad at it. He's so bad at it that Alain Vigneault used this most recent non-goal as an example of why Daniel never gets a chance in the shootout. It's a strange anomaly, really, especially considering that Daniel Sedin is a pretty fabulous scorer. Furthermore, he's in possession of one of the NHL's most accurate shots. You'd think he'd be money in these situations, but it would seem penalty shots and shootouts just aren't particularly suited for his game. Here are 20 possible explanations:

The 10 Best Items in the Dice & Ice Auction Catalogue

The Canucks Dice & Ice Benefit is a fabulous annual charity event that raises money for the Canucks For Kids Fund in support of Canuck Place Children's Hospice and BC Children's Hospital. We've never been, and until we have enough money to pay rent and still have some money left in our bank accounts, it's likely we won't be in attendance.

However, because PITB is a worldwide movement now, we have spies everywhere. We have managed to get ahold of the night's silent auction catalog. Thank you to our secret benefactor, who may or may not be Batman.

Suffice it to say, there's some sweet stuff in there, including a bevy of autographed jerseys by your favourite Canucks. No autographed Jannik Hansen jersey, though. To sign your name, you need hands, amirite? Ha ha, zing.

Anyway, as commoners, we understand the plight of those like us, who want to know about the neat stuff up for auction, but aren't on that particular mailing list. So, for the plebeian, we've compiled a short list of the coolest stuff the Canucks have put up for bid. Here are the ten best items in the Dice & Ice Auction Catalog:

More of Cody Hodgson's Dark Times, With Hilarious Submissions By Readers Not Unlike You

If you're new to Cody Hodgson's dark times, I recommend you go back and read the original post that led to this one. If, however, you're averse to doing research just to get a pretty lame joke, here's a short primer: in an intermission segment about Cody Hodgson's injury troubles, the narration included the hyperbolic statement "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson." Skeeter and I started riffing on the phrase and its potential responses. Soon, a PITB-only meme was born. Here are a few original examples:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: It was a good pass, too. Tape-to-tape. I had the whole net to shoot at.
  

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I cast magic missile at the darkness. It didn't work very well.

As you can see, the joke has myriad possibilities, and the Bulie response to this joke was maybe (read: definitely) funnier than the original post. After the jump, proof that we have awesome readers:

The Dark Times Have Passed For Cody Hodgson

In case you just awoke from a hockey coma, you've probably heard that Cody Hodgson, prized prospect of the Vancouver Canucks, played his first NHL game yesterday. It's been a long time coming for Hodgson, who has overcome a boatload of misinformation, intrusive media coverage, rampant speculation and injury troubles just to get here. But now he's here, and we rejoice, not just because of what he had to go through, but because the hyperbole and panic surrounding Cody should subside.

During last night's game, Hodgson was featured in an intermission segment about his first NHL game which used the phrase, "The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson," before making a cut to Hodgson for an uninteresting quote about injuries. I don't even recall what he said--I just remember thinking that Hodgson's follow-up sentence could have gone in so many better ways. Somehow, I expect a phrase like the dark times have passed to be followed up with a story about how someone overcame full-on vampirism. Imagine this exchange:

• Narrator: The dark times have passed for Cody Hodgson.
  Hodgson: I used to be a vampire.

Now that's some badass journalism right there. But that's just me. From where I'm sitting, it could have gone in so many better directions. After the jump, we envision the myriad possible responses to this open-ended lead-in:

20 More Things Overheard at the NHL War Room

I know, I know. I did this joke yesterday. Cut me some slack. I can't even fully explain how much fun these are to come up with. You should try it. Tweet us @passittobulis, with the hashtag #NHLWarRoomQuotes. Here are twenty more things overheard at the NHL War Room:

1. "Okay, Mr. VanMassenhoven. Pick a number, then a colour, then a number."
   
2. "A lot of people said I was crazy to hire an all-blind team, but look at us now. Oh right, you can't."
   
3. "It's hard to make out... can we zoom in? Why did we pick such a dirty coin? I can't read heads or tails. Inconclusive."
   
4. "I'm torn. Both teams are from Canada, but we have to rule in favour of one of them."
   
5. "Wait, zoom in. Is that a tattoo?"
   
6. "I can't see it on camera, but I was just reading about object permanence. Did you know it has to be somewhere?"
   
7. "If you listen closely, you can hear him thinking about blowing the whistle just before the puck goes in."
   
8. "Hey, this is alfredo sauce! I said pomodoro sauce! This is the last time we order Italian. Rule against Luongo."
   
9. "Bad news, guys. We've all gotta stay late--I just found out the Canucks play tonight. Hey! Relax. Your beef is with Vancouver, not me."
   
10. "I don't think that should count. The goalie couldn't see it."
    
11. "Good news, guys! The NHL has asked us to pick the musical act for the All-Star Game. Let's put our heads together and see if we can't come up with something everyone will like."
    
12. "Okay, I was just looking through yesterday's logs, and it says here that someone ruled in favour of Buffalo. What the Hell! We've talked about this!"
    
13. "This clip is boring. Change it to Two and a Half Men."
    
14. "Did anyone else see Double Moustache Man?"
    
15. "That's a clean hit. The head is part of the shoulder, right?"
    
16. "I'm so sick of the officials calling us. Do we have to hold their hand through everything?"
    
17. "Hey, switch to the net cam. Ha ha, look how big his ass looks."
    
18. "The puck is black, right?"
    
19. "Tell them we couldn't see the puck so the call on the ice stands. Gosh, this will be a lot easier when the power comes back on."
    
20. "Get the Braille rule book."
    

20 Things Overheard in the NHL War Room

Last night's contentious decision from the NHL War Room--in which they defied their own precedent and overruled an on-ice no-goal call despite inconclusive evidence--was just another bit of proof that Colin Campbell and his crack squad of AV geeks have literally no idea what they're doing. And, in case you weren't convinced, PITB's recently-dispatched War Room spy has returned, reporting twenty of the most remarkable #NHLWarRoomQuotes he's heard:

1. "Vancouver's on the phone. Don't they know what time it is?"
   
2. "How did we do it last time?"
   
3. "What does 'distinct' mean, anyway? There's literally no way of knowing."
   
4. "Man, that's a tough call. Unplug the phone."
   
5. "I think it's a touchdown."
   
6. "I told them, I don't know much about hockey, but I was Dan Hartman's synth player, so I've got a lot of experience with Instant Replay."
   
7. "Crap, I think Canada's on to us."
   
8. He knocked it down with a high stick and then he kicked it in, but it's Gregory, so count it.
   
9. "What part of 'inconclusive' don't you understand? I said I'm on break."
   
10. "I can't decide. Load the mousetraps and get the mouse."
    
11. "Is that the rule? Somebody Google it."
    
12. "Did you know I interviewed for their vacant general manager position? I didn't get it. Anyway, no goal."
    
13. "I can't see it--the crossbar's in the way. Oh wait, it's just a Twizzler on the monitor again."


14. "FSN Pittsburgh has another angle, but they said it would take four to six weeks for delivery."
    
15. "Zoom in. Now increase the pixels."
    
16. "Let's just say 'he intended to blow the whistle'. Then amend the rule before people start snooping around. Unplug the phone."
    
17. "He's faking it. That's fake blood."
    
18. "Call it a goal. Nobody's watching anyway."
    
19. "Bwa ha ha, screw the Sabres."
    
20. "Guys, we suck at this."

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (10-01)

And here we are. We've had a fun run, wouldn't you say? We've got 40 goals down and 10 to go in our list of the best Canuck goals of 2010. We're sure you know how this list ends, and we hope you've enjoyed getting there with us, but there are still some surprises in store.

If you're late to this countdown, we recommend you start at the beginning with numbers 50-31.

We at PITB are confident that some of the top ten Canuck goals of 2010 will be obvious choices, some will come as surprises, and some are likely to have been forgotten until right now. So, without further ado, we end our list. After the jump, the 10 best Canuck tallies of the year that was 2010.

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (30-11)

The Canucks scored some dazzling goals in 2010, but it will be a brand new year in only a few short days. Who knows what the new year will hold? Now, I don't mean to hit the panic button but, as of this writing, the Canucks are scoreless in 2011. Seriously, don't panic.

While we cross our fingers and hope they can sort that out, PITB has compiled a list of the 50 best goals of the year that was, to ensure fans don't forget how this team spoiled us with their incredibly playmaking. Yesterday we gave you the back twenty of this massive list, and today we give twenty more. After the jump, numbers 30-11 on our list of the top 50 Canuck goals of 2010.

The Top 50 Canuck Goals of 2010 (50-31)

As another year of hockey draws to a close, we at PITB thought this might be a good time to reflect on the wicked wristers, sizzling slapshots, pretty passes, and wizardous sedinerie we've seen from Canucks in the past calendar year. The 2009-10 season, the playoffs, the preseason, and the current season were all full of fabulous plays from former and current Canucks, and we'd be remiss if they were forgotten with little fanfare. Thanks to the remarkable contributions of CanucksHD, however, every one of these plays is sitting on the Youtubes, just waiting for somebody to compile them into a list.

This is that list. Over the next few days, we'll count down the 50 best goals from Canucks in 2010, from Aaron Volpatti's first NHL goal to a number one choice so obvious I'm tempted to end the list at number two. All Youtube videos are embedded so as to localize your time-wasting to this very blog. After the jump, goals 50 -31 of the best of 2010.