Was This Goal a Set Play?

Here's a basic principle for watching the Sedins: they never do anything by accident. Often times, the twins will pull off something so unthinkable that you'd be forgiven for deeming it a fluke. It never is. Rather, it's a set play from two eternal optimists--guys convinced everything they try will work. Usually it does.

With that in mind, take a look at Alex Burrows's goal from last night's season-ending matchup with the Calgary Flames. At first glance, it looks like an accident: Daniel Sedin comes out from behind the net and tries to go top corner with a shot. Instead, he misses wide and hits Alex Burrows in the gut. The puck falls in front of Burr and he taps it in. But that's not actually what you see. This was a set play, executed to perfection. Here are three items of argumentative proof:

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, April 10, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Flames (OT)

For the third time in the last four years, the Canucks and Flames found themselves paired up for game 82 with little on the line. Considering the lopsided outcome of the previous two season-enders, with the Flames walloping the Canucks 7-1 in 2008 and the Canucks matching that goal total in a 7-3 rout last year, one might have assumed that this contest wouldn't be lively or close. But it was. Like extramarital sex with a ghost, this one was a spirited affair. After falling behind by two, Vancouver needed a third-period comeback and an overtime marker from Christian Ehrhoff to head into the postseason on a winning note. I watched this game:

• Also a winning note: C.

• Just like last year, Daniel and Henrik combined for an absolute beauty in the final game of the season, setting up Ryan Kesler for the game-tying goal (above). This one adhered to the Third Law of Sedinery, which says that the Sedins will always make one more pass than is necessary. Consider: Daniel is in behind the defense. Most other players cut to the net in this instance for what is routinely called a breakaway. Instead, Daniel goes wide, drawing both defenders to him, then makes a backpass through four guys to Henrik, who finds Kesler trailing the play. Seriously. The Sedins are the only guys that find trailers on breakaways. These guys love trailers. They have to be a half hour early for every movie, that's how much they love trailers.

• The assist was Daniel Sedin's second of the night, after a centring pass that allowed Alex Burrows to cut the lead in half. With that, Daniel finishes the season with 104 points, good for the Art Ross trophy. He truly was out for blood. Now, it may be eight less than his brother scored last season, but it's also ten more than his brother scored this season. Suck on that, Henrik.

• I love Kevin Weekes' liberal use of the word literally. He's like Rob Lowe in Parks & Recreation. Consider this Weekes-ism, following an early third-period assault from the Canucks: Alain Vigneault obviously did some fine work in this intermission because the Canucks have come out on fire literally. Hmm. I can tell you that, if the Canucks came out from their locker room and they were literally on fire, the broadcast would have taken a markedly different turn.

• There were seven slashing penalties in this game. Seven. Seven! This one had more slashes than a complicated URL. The worst of these was a Henrik Sedin two-hander that seemed relatively out of character Captain Hook, typically known for more passive stick infractions. Slashing is more of Mikael Samuelsson's thing. Now, one might argue that, if Sammy's so slashy, how come he wasn't called for a slash in this slashiest of games? Remember that his third period roughing penalty came when he was pulled out of a scrum he started with a slash. Yes, Mikael Samuelsson slashes like Wal-Mart. Know what else has a lot of slashes? This paragraph. Slash slash slash.

• Alex Burrows isn't known for his skating, but it's hard to miss his improvement in this area. It really stood out during a first period penalty kill, where he won a puck battle, then took the puck around his net and blew the zone with possession. Then, after putting a shot on goal, Burrows managed to be the first forward back, in perfect position to intercept a weak pass from Olli Jokinen. Some beautiful strides during this sequence. For a guy who used to look like he was the only player on the ice wearing roller blades, Burrows has come a long way.

• That said, he's still Alex Burrows. Consider a third period altercation with Jarome Iginla where he goaded Iginla into dropping the gloves, only to forget to reciprocate. Whoops. I suspect Burrows' passion for winning turds stems from the fact that he sort of is one.

• It was fabulous to see all six members of the Canucks' defense finally combine to form Mega Dragonzord. They were a little too reliant on stretch passes last night, but the promise of this group is hard to ignore. Any one of them can spring a guy at any time. Another good way to spring a guy? Have a girl walk in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face.

• Congratulations to Christian Ehrhoff on collecting his 50th point of the campaign on the overtime winner. Ehrhoff has had a fabulous season, and now becomes the first Canucks' defenseman in 15 years to reach the 50-point plateau. Henrik Karlsson was upset about the goal, feeling he'd been interfered with. Unfortunately, the refs didn't buy it, maybe because claiming Mason Raymond interfered with you is a little like claiming Jesus drank all the wine.

• Aaron Rome actually didn't look too bad playing wing on the 4th line. He had 3 shots, 4 hits and a takeaway, as well as a few decent scoring chances. In truth, Rome acquitted himself nicely enough that this could potentially be an option in the playoffs. It might be a nice way to ensure that the Canucks don't find themselves, after an injury, playing with five d-men in the late stages of an important game. Sidenote: at one point, I was concerned Rome's strong play might earn him a few extra shifts, somehow managing to give him more minutes than Keith Ballard, even as a fourth-line winger.

• There was a brief scare during the first period, when Ryan Kesler headed to the dressing room with an apparent knee injury. Mind you, you had to know he was coming back. When I was a child, I had a posable MC Hammer doll, and my brother popped off its legs, then reattached them backwards, so Hammer's knee bent up towards his stomach. If that had happened to Kesler's knee, he would still have returned. Rule of thumb: if Kesler doesn't leave the game via medicopter, he'll be back soon.

• This was Cory Schneider's 25th appearance of the season, and by allowing fewer than eight goals, he has officially won a share of the Jennings trophy with Roberto Luongo. Schneider's play this season has been fabulous, but I hope this was his last game as a Canuck. A playoff appearance means something has gone horribly wrong, and a return as Lou's backup next season would be beneath him. One could easily argue Schneider is the best rookie goalie in the NHL. He finishes fifth in the league with a 2.23 goals against average, and his .929 save percentage is good for third. In fact, his performance last night bumped his save percentage one point better than Luongo's, dropping the Canucks' starter to fourth in the category. This parting blow may affect Luongo's outside shot at a Vezina nomination, as the "top three in wins, GAA, and SV%" argument is now dead. Think Luongo regrets lobbying for Schneider to get 25 appearances now?

• And finally, someone threw a salmon onto the ice again. Clearly, no one is listening to me.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Coyotes, March 18, 2011

Canucks 1 - 3 Coyotes

A goaltender's duel is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds (just ask Rick DiPietro). Despite the picture you have in your mind, in reality, neither goalie draws pistols, nobody walks paces, and nobody is slapped with a glove. Furthermore, there is never any threat to the United States Secretary of the Treasury. Suffice it to say, there's really nothing thrilling about it. Instead, the two duellers stand 200 feet from each other the whole night (much too far to accurately fire a Wogdon Duelling Pistol), and conspire to prevent any action. Really, this was less of a duel, and more of a bad boxing match, in that the two competitors battled to a draw and eventually the officials had to step in and decide the match for them. A bit disappointing, this one. I watched this game:

• Before I take a few more jabs at tonight's uneven reffing, let me be clear: the Canucks lost this game because their 5-on-3 couldn't capitalize and because Jason "The Barbera" LaBarbera was incredible. He made 46 saves tonight. Forty-six. The only Canucks that didn't have shots on goal were Keith Ballard and Aaron Rome, and eight players had three or more. Jason LaBarbera stopped all but one, and he would have had that one, too, but Dan Murphy made a point of saying shutout. Unfortunately for Dan Murphy, both goalies were pitching shutouts when he said that. Oh, you fool.

• According to the stats page, this game only had 20 hits, 10 by each team. It didn't feel that friendly. Also, here's a curious name among the guys that registered zero hits: Alex Burrows. Zero hits? What about this one? Apparently, the stats guys didn't agree with the call either.

• Let's talk about that controversial hit. Burrows definitely deserved a penalty, but Fiddler's trying to play the puck while avoiding the check, and he's not a good enough skater to do it. Instead, he goes into the boards at full speed and, while twisting away from the puck, tries to poke it in the other direction. That puts his back to Burrows, a terrible position for an inevitable check. Unfortunately, now when Burrows hits him, Fiddler's facing the boards, off-balance, hunched over and trying to stop at an awkward angle. In that moment, even with Burrows trying to let up, he sends him headfirst into the boards. You have to call that--it's a hit from behind--but there's no way that's a major and a misconduct.

• You've got to think Burrows' reputation factored into the overreaction, which is why I found his postgame comments so interesting. After the game, I partly expected to hear him confess to going for another pregame skate with a begrudged referee. Instead, Burr made a point of saying he disagreed with the call, but that Kelly Sutherland, who made it, is one of the best referees in the league. Novel approach. As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than by having Alex Burrows publicly malign them.

• My real beef with the refereeing tonight was the astonishing degree of inconsistency. It always amazes me how, even when a game is called so strictly you'd think it was being refereed by the Women's Temperance Movement, the whistles disappear the moment the Sedins hit the ice. Daniel and Henrik were both tripped up or interfered with a number of times with no response from the zebras. The most egregious non-call came on a Daniel Sedin trip in the dying seconds, freeing up the puck and giving Phoenix a free path to Vancouver's empty net. It's baffling, but here's my theory: the things the twins do are so absolutely breathtaking that the referees, like all of us, can't help but gasp. Unfortunately, gasping with a whistle in your mouth is a surefire way to swallow your whistle.

• With tonight's victory, the Coyotes become the only NHL team to win two games at Rogers Arena. It's not surprising. Considering the situation in Phoenix, it has to inspire the Coyotes to visit a building full of fans whose tickets didn't come free with a sandwich combo.

• Sami Salo had a game-high 5 blocked shots tonight. He's blocked 24 shots in his 18 games back. That's a pretty impressive stat, but it's probably not as intimidating to block a shot when your body is full of metal plates. Salo had 23:08 and a game-high 31 shifts.

• Meanwhile, Christian Ehrhoff played twenty-seven minutes tonight and Keith Ballard played twelve. Now, I agree that Ehrhoff > Ballard, but I feel that such a blatant discrepancy in icetime would have to be represented by four or five angle brackets, and I can't get behind that. For continuity's sake, let me express my opinion in angle brackets: > > >>>>>

• I'm always amazed at the things Vern Fiddler gets away with. He drew Alex Burrows' 15 minutes in penaties, and he also drew a 2 minute roughing minor from Mikael Samuelsson when he high-sticked the feisty Swede in the face (missed), meriting a gloved punch (seen). I'm sure I'd love him if he played for my team, but he doesn't, so I don't.

• If there's one criticism about the Sedins I can understand, it's that they often don't play with a sense of urgency. How do I know? Because you can tell when they are playing urgent, such as on Christian Ehrhoff's goal (above). They buzzed for that whole shift, motivated, no doubt by the bogus major penalty that wound up costing them two goals, before Ehrhoff finally banged the puck home in front. These guys have been the best players in the NHL this season, and you have to wonder how much better they'd be if they played with this intensity all the time. Mind you, I guess they're so good because they don't have to.

• The absence of Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra was felt. The third line simply lacked the presence it has in past weeks. Raffi Torres suffered especially, finishing with only 1 hit and 1 shot in 8:48 of icetime. In the faceoff circle, Maxim Lapierre did a great job with increased responsibilities, going 7-for-11 on faceoffs. Henrik, too, went a respectable 9-for-16. Ryan Kesler, on the other hand, went a somewhat disappointing 11-for-25, although his numbers probably suffered when he had to take a few more draws on the left side, where Malhotra is typically used. During the major penalty kill, however, Manny's absence really glared. There were seven draws during those five minutes, and the Canucks won only two of them. Worse, both goals came off a lost faceoff.

• You had to feel for Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis after he took a shot in the leg on the penalty kill, and couldn't get back into the play to clear Radim Vrbata from Roberto Luongo's line of vision on the second goal. It was especially ironic that it would be a shot to the leg that slowed him down, especially after he spent the afternoon teaching the BC Teacher's Federation how to use an epinephrine autoinjector to treat anaphylaxis in students.

• The Canucks remain one of only two teams that has not scored a five-on-three powerplay goal. The other is Edmonton. Clearly, the way to stop the Canucks' powerplay is to take another penalty. Or just only send out three guys to kill it. Maybe have him cherry pick around the red line or something.

• After starting the game on the fourth line, Mason Raymond played well, earning his place back on the second line by the game's end. It had to be a real boost of confidence to MayRay to be skating there in the dying minutes of the third period as the Canucks tried to tie it up. Hopefully, he now fully recognizes the threat Chris Higgins poses. Yes, Higgins is his black swan.

• And finally: Phoenix impresses me. They don't have the personnel to be this good, yet they continue to win. Granted, it helps when you're allowed to skate 9 players at a time, and dress four of them up like referees. Okay, that was the last one.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, March 12, 2011

Canucks 4 - 3 Flames

Last night, the Canucks wrapped up their five-game West Coast road swing with a convincing 4-3 win over the Calgary Flames, and I do mean convincing. Don't let the final score fool you; this wasn't a one-goal game. The Flames may have jumped out to an early lead after Mikael Samuelsson and Dan Hamhuis got confused about the game's start time, but the Canucks woke up immediately thereafter, perhaps buoyed by the Flames' damning two-goal lead, and spent the rest of the evening putting Calgary under pressure on the ice [ice, baby]. After the slow start, it was great to see them so immediately snap to life, and I did see, because I watched this game:

• That's right. Two song references in one sentence, wherein the first song referenced is sampled by the second. PITB for the win, y'all.

• Alex Burrows potted his 20th goal of the season on a tip in front that tied the game at three. I don't think we give Burrows enough credit for what he does in front of the net. He's not the biggest guy and he's not that strong on his skates, so the only way he gets space in front is by zipping around at breakneck speed. Watch the next time a Sedin gets the puck behind the net: cue Burrows, darting back and forth around the crease like a squirrel in the street. Also watch, on last night's goal, as he gets effortlessly moved from the area by Matt Stajan, then immediately scurries back there once Stajan thinks his work is done. In the split second between Stajan heading to the side boards and Steve Staios realizing Burrows has been left alone, Burrows is in the position to be found by Daniel Sedin.
  

• Speaking of Daniel Sedin, he and Henrik were fantastic. They were on the ice for all four goals, combining for 5 points and completely dissecting Calgary's defensive coverage with Wizardous Sedinerie and fabulous vision all night. My favourite goal (Daniel Sedin's first of the night, above), comes when Rene Bourque drifts about a foot too high, and Daniel cuts through the middle of the offensive zone ice at full speed. That's a fabulous read, and it's matched only by Henrik's vision to get him the puck. The moment Daniel starts his sprint, it's obvious what's coming, too, as Henrik puts a backhand pass through the legs of Robyn Regehr (who seriously opens up to let it through), and Daniel one-times it past Kiprusoff. So good. Not so good: Rene Bourque practicing his first star twirl while this play is unfolding.

• When the Sedins are going like this, the power play tends to trend upward as well, so it's no surprise that the special teams were spot-on last night. The first unit went 2-for-2, scoring just over thirty seconds into each powerplay (32 and 37 seconds, respectively). Daniel Sedin's game-winner was so effortless it was hard to tell who moved less when it happened, he or Miikka Kiprosoff. It came so quickly off the faceoff you'd have thought the linesman just chucked it into the net.

• What a road trip. The Canucks went unbeaten in five games, all of which were against teams currently top 8 in the West. It was the best road trip since the one where that carful of girls literally punched Stuntman Mike to death.
  

• Ryan Kesler played a fabulous game as well, finishing with a goal and an assist, both on the powerplay. It was great to see the return of his lethal wrist shot from above the faceoff dot. Kiprusoff seemed a little befuddled that it got past him, but Kesler's been getting behind everyone these days--it was inevitable. Of note: while Kesler was back there, he took his shirt off and offered Kiprusoff a half-eaten slice of pizza.

• One thing Kesler does well is take hits to make plays. He got drilled three or four times last night, but the Canucks never lost possession of the puck.

• In the broadcast booth, Garry Galley was a nice change of pace from Kevin Weekes. He made some good observations, including his call on the Alex Burrows goal, in which he dubbed Daniel Sedin's open ice "The Quiet Zone." It sounds like the title of a Cronenberg movie full of weird sex. I'm glad that Galley was good, because he's owed me one for fifteen years. He was the slowest player in NHL 94 and somehow, he was always on my team. I was so sick of his painfully slow sprite lugging the puck through the neutral zone. Anyway, now we're even.

• By the by, Garry's son Wyatt is the star goaltender for the Langley Chiefs. They're in the BCHL playoffs right now and tickets are cheap.

• You always hear criticism that the announcers are biased against your team, but you had to think Calgary fans were pulling their hair out as Galley marveled at the Canucks. It was somewhat inevitable, though. Vancouver's the best at everything right now. They'll be the first team to 100 points, and Daniel Sedin, too, will probably get there before any other team does.

• Curiously, someone threw a fish on the ice. No idea why. Curiosities abound: why a salmon, and how does a salmon gets through security, anyway? They'll confiscate a Ziploc bag of goldfish crackers but they'll let a real freaking fish through? Ridiculous. But, perhaps the most curious element of this very curious action was that the fish found the ice late in the third period. Why wait? It's been my experience that, when you've got a fish in your backpack, you get rid of it as soon as possible (unless you're the shopping penguin). Suffice it to say, someone just ruined a backpack.

• Thanks to Qris for covering this feature in our absence. We haven't missed an IWTG this season. Without him, that streak ends.
  

• Chris Higgins is going to be a great addition to this team. He was good wherever he played last night, and he was all over the lineup, especially after Mikael Samuelsson got benched early in the first.

• I understand the criticism that Mason Raymond's had a number of off-games without getting benched so summarily as Mikael Samuelsson did tonight, but I think Alain Vigneault wanted to whip Sammy with a sock full of batteries after that Michael Backlund goal. This goes back to Samuelsson's Borg-brainwashing in Detroit, but he often refuses to to give up possession by dumping the puck out of the zone. In this case, it bit him. How to win AV's love: make the safe plays. Why do you think Aaron Rome had more shifts (34) than any other Canuck? Hint: it's not his skating.
  

• I liked Manny Malhotra trying that icing play the Sedins always do. He and Raffi nearly connected for some Plagiarized Sedinerie. We've actually seen a lot more of that this year, when players who aren't the Sedins try their hand at Sedinerie. It's very Mickey Mouse. Mind you, considering they're the top two scorers in the NHL, it's probably safe to learn from them. On the flipside, it's probably not safe to learn from Mary Kay Letourneau. Especially if you're Chris Tanev; he's quite young.

• And finally, we often criticize the way Alain Vigneault metes out icetime, but he's managed his roster quite well. Nobody played under 11 minutes, and in the last game of a five-game road trip, icetime management matters. Know what else matters? Family.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Bruins, February 26, 2011

Canucks 1 - 3 Bruins

Last night's tough loss to the Boston Bruins keeps the Canucks mired in their pattern of alternating wins and losses, a pattern that's now persisted for 10 games. That said, you have to think last night's loss was different--that is was the toughest of the most recent five. Tied at one going into the third period, and poised to do what they do best, which is take over in the third period, the Canucks were instead shocked by a Bruins team that collapsed back in a tie game to block shots and clog up passing lanes. Then, they capitalized on a missed call and a missed defensive assignment to score the game-winner, and wound up skating away from the final frame with two goals on four shots. It had to be sort of infuriating--sort of really infuriating--and I should know, because I felt a similar fury as I watched this game:

• The Boston Bruins continued the trend of Eastern Conference teams getting past the Canucks by blocking every possible shot. Boston blocked 23 shots (Johnny Boychuk and Adam McQuaid having 10 between them). The Canadiens and the Rangers utilized this same game plan to success, and it would appear that teams have a book on the Canucks. Before you start to panic, however, realize that it's no foolproof plan and it can only be exacted if you're not trailing. Had the Canucks been able to hold a lead against these three clubs, things would have opened up. That said, we are beginning to see how teams adjust and meticulously prepare for the best team in the NHL. The Canucks rely on a lot of down-low passing, so if you collapse around the net, you can cover them and get in passing lanes while remaining in position to block point shots. Unsurprisingly, ten of Vancouver's blocked attempts came off the sticks of their top four defensemen.

• One way to combat a goal crease collapse is to send a big forward into the opponents' defensive box to wreak havoc. However, among the top six forwards, only Ryan Kesler has the size for this, especially when Zdeno Chara can so ably move a smaller body elsewhere. Worse, as the center, Kesler is supposed to be the first forward back, so he really can't afford to get caught down low (at even strength, anyway). Tanner Glass's promotion to the second line was Vigneault's attempt to combat the net presence deficiency in his top six.

• It was also an attempt to get through to Mason Raymond, for whom the problems continue to compound. He's typically a reliable defensive player, even during scoring slumps, but even that aspect of his game is beginning to drift away. In the last few games, we've seen plays die on his stick, then come back the other way without him, and end up in the net. Raymond again played a subpar offensive game last night, but he earned a third period demotion to the fourth line with some brutal defensive coverage on Nathan Horton's second period goal. Not only does he let Horton get position in front, Raymond takes his stick out of the play and winds up left with no other recourse but a series of ineffective nudges. If his stick's on the ice, maybe he jams Horton up or knocks the puck away. Instead, one of the spindliest Canucks tosses his stick over his back like a hobo's bindle and tries to outmuscle a power forward. Unwise. Raymond may not have earned himself a trade out of town last night but, at the very least, he's earned himself a couple restless nights before the deadline.

• In the past, PITB had an oft-used No Third Line For Glass hashtag, which we used whenever Tanner Glass got top nine icetime. We've since semi-retired this hashtag (because we love Tanner Glass now), although AV appears to have finally listened, as he bypassed the third line entirely and bumped Tanner to the second. Okay, in truth, this had more to do with keeping the third line intact. They've combined for 7 goals in the last 7 games, including this game's lone Canuck tally. That one came off the stick of Manny "Alternate Captain Mal" Malhotra, who becomes the first Canuck to beat Tim Thomas. Thomas can take solace, however, in knowing that no caucasian Canuck has ever beaten him. Try to remember that, Canucks. Next time the Bruins come to town, we should dress Darren Archibald to take advantage of Thomas's susceptibility to shots by ethnic minorities.

• Brad Marchand's got a real Inspector Gadget look to him, doesn't he? With the long face and nose, I half-expected him to skate on a line with Penny and Brain. He's a bit of a bumbler, too. Twice last night he activated Go-Go-Gadget-Take-Stupid-Penalty.

• Rough night for Sami Salo, who was on the ice for all three Boston goals. Silver lining: that means he stayed healthy for the whole game. Offensively, I enjoyed his eagerness to blast the puck whenever possible. It's nice to have that weapon back. Salo had a game-high 5 shots, and although two were blocked, none missed the net. Can you believe this guy's one half of our bottom pairing?

• People will claim that the Canucks were outmuscled, but that's not actually true. The Canucks outhit Boston 32 to 22, led by 4 hits by Jannik Hansen, 6 by Tanner Glass, and a whopping seven by Raffi Torres, including this fabulous one on Tomas Kaberle, which might have been Raffi's best hit of the season. Human bowling ball indeed.

• Milan Lucic was the star of the evening, scoring the game-winner and notching a helper on Boston's other two goals. That said, can we please put the shoulda drafted Lucic talk to rest? It would have been nice to have a Vancouver-born player in a Canucks uniform, but this isn't another Cam Neely fiasco. He was never going to be a Canuck. He was drafted 50th overall, and scouts at the time thought even that was early. Even if the Canucks hadn't traded away their second-rounder, they likely wouldn't have used it on him. It seems foolish now, but I'm a little sick of people forgetting how hindsight works.

• Ryan Kesler's in a bit of a scoring slump, and I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Who else do you have to worry about when he's on the ice?

• Speaking of Kesler, he took 25 faceoffs last night. The rest of the team, combined, took 29. It was like he and Vigneault were playing a game of Uno, and Vigneault was out to get him. Draw four, Kes. Ha ha, draw four again.

• I liked Alex Burrows' battle with Milan Lucic. During one faceoff in particular, Lucic simply encroached on Burr's space and made himself unmovable, but what Burr lacks in brute strength, he makes up for in obnoxiousness, so he just chopped Lucic's stick out of his hands and skated away. Good on you, Burr, you greasy little snot.

• The Canucks' power play looked disorganized and tentative, and it may have cost the the game. Tentative is good for road trip itineraries; it's bad for special teams.

• And finally, Cody Hodgson had a strong game, likely motivated by this being the last of his three-game tryout (of sorts), but he needs to get his shot off a little quicker. His patience is impressive, sure, but more impressive if when one's shot reaches the goaltender. Cody had 1 shot on goal, but he had three more blocked because he held onto it too long. I have a feeling the knock on Hodgson will always be a lack of urgency, but unlike the Sedins, he doesn't have an Art Ross trophy to fall back on when people claim he's not quick enough to fire. He should spend a weekend with Donald Trump.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Canadiens, February 22, 2011

Canucks 2 - 3 Canadiens

Not sure why, but the Canadiens started this game like they had embarrassed themselves on national television in their previous outing. Frankly, they skated like it was their first time on indoor ice in days, shooting like they hadn't scored a goal in over sixty minutes, and playing like above zero temperatures were suddenly new to them. Spurred by a novel appreciation for insideness, they jumped out to an early lead, and never looked back. The Canucks, meanwhile, drifted for the first ten minutes, spoiled by their indoor malaise. I say this malaise cost us the game. Also, we scored fewer goals. I watched this game:

• To be perfectly honest, I hated this game. Not just because of the Canucks, mind you, but because the Canadiens play ugly hockey. Ogre ugly. They even employ an ogre. Have you seen James Wisniewksi these days? After taking advantage of a flat-footed Canucks team early, they spent the evening defending their lead by collapsing in front of Carey Price like the 1929 stock market, and clogging up the neutral zone like a big ball of hair in the J-trap. It was unattractive hockey.

• Speaking of hate, Harrison would like everyone to know that he hates P.K. Subban. He claims he's allowed to, because they're both black. That said, I thought I heard him say something about the white way, but it turns out he was saying the white whale (he's in Darren Pang's book club). I'm actually a Subban fan. He's a jerk, sure, but no moreso than Kesler or Burrows. He's a pain in the posterior to play against and is unapologetic about being young and talented. Nothing wrong with that.

• Tonight's big story? Tom Cruise and Simon Pegg were in the audience tonight. I'd be upset about this if I were Nick Frost. Cruise is a much better-looking running mate, and considering his career-trajectory, he might soon be reduced to playing sidekicks. Anyway, considering Cruise and Pegg are from the United States and United Kingdom, respectively, I assume they spent the majority of the game wondering where the ball was. And fending off thetans. Couch jump.

• One of Ryan Kesler's most underrated skills is his overall opaqueness. He used this ability to great effect tonight, proving to Carey Price that it is impossible to see an incoming puck through a body. Not even with X-Ray Specs. You would need military-grade x-ray glasses, and the Canadiens just don't have access to that kind of hardware. Come to think of it, that's about the only kind of hardware they don't have a tonne of. That's a french ton, for those who don't know.

• Kesler was also a beast in the faceoff circle tonight. He went 13-for-13 in the defensive zone, 4-for-5 in the neutral zone, and 8-for-11 in the offensive zone. That's 25-for-29 overall. I say again: he took 29 faceoffs. He lost four. But those four cost them the game. Trade him for money.

• The Canucks Scrabble challenge (in which Harrison will be competing tomorrow) was enough of a big deal to get mentioned twice. It was sort of neat. That said, just to establish, Shorty's proposed Scrabble technique of spelling the word "THE" to block triple word scores is not recommended, and doesn't really make sense. I really can't think of a single scenario where spelling the word "THE" to block a triple-word score--without actually using the triple-word--score would work. That said, Shorty's Scrabble knowledge definitely tops Garrett, who only seemed to know that A had a low-point value.

• Between his poor puck management, and his incessant urges to go wide and try wrap-arounds, it's a wonder Mason Raymond remains an NHL second-liner. He should try managing a truck stop diner, where the turnovers, wraps, and poor management are expected.

• Keith Ballard and Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis both played tonight, but neither was really back, if you know what I mean. They weren't at 100%. For example, Dan Hamhuis only built one Venezuelan orphanage during the game.

• Christian Ehrhoff played 28:35 tonight, which is more than he played in the games Hamhuis and Ballard missed. That's too much icetime for the Hoff, who doesn't play a steady enough game to be on the ice for half of it. Without Alex Edler, he's a bit manic and overzealous. In the last ten minutes of the game (when he didn't seem to leave the ice), Ehrhoff rushed the puck well, but tried to force play after play, and often wound up getting turned back or flummoxing his forwards. A steadying presence like Edler's would have helped greatly. One might say that Christian Ehrhoff misses Alex Edler like Raffi Torres misses the net. That is to say, constantly.

• Actually, I'm going to the Canucks superskills on Sunday, and I'm hoping Torres competes in the shooting accuracy competition. More than that, I hope he wins, just to increase his already astronomical ability to boggle. Think he plays Boggle? Should this be our next challenge? #BoggleMeRaffi

• The Canucks evidently got 39 shots-on-net, with the Canadiens blocking another 22. The number of quality scoring chances, on the other hand, was significantly lower, and this is the third or fourth game in a row where this has been the case. During this stretch, with the defensive injuries, the Canucks' shot totals have actually gone up, but the overall quality of their offense has gone down. One example would be the very common occurrence of the Sedins parking behind the net. Typically, they make something happen from back there, but half of the threat is predicated on the defensemen being viable passing options. They really weren't tonight. Instead, you had long stretches of Alex Burrows darting back and forth in front of the crease, hoping to get open, before Henrik gave up and went somewhere else.

• For the first time, Chris Tanev looked a little out of place in the NHL. He's really only had one unimpressive game prior to this evening, but tonight, the Canadiens took advantage of how raw a talent he is. Unlike Mikael Samuelsson, whose minus-3 was not reflective of his overall defensive play (it had more to do with playing with Mason Raymond), Tanev's minus-2 was self-made. On the opening goal, he drifted into center ice while David Desharnais tiptoed in behind him (inasmuch as one on skates can tiptoe) for a breakaway. On the second Montreal goal, he took himself out of the play with a poorly-timed hit and couldn't get back in time to cover Andrei Kostitsyn. To this, I say: Tanev, play to your strengths, one of which is not strength.

• The Canucks' power play quite nearly bailed them out tonight, potting two goals on six powerplays (one here, one above), despite looking discombobulated, at times. Part of me feels like the power play let the team down tonight, especially considering the ill-disciplined nature of Montreal's penalties. It was especially aggravating to see a five-on-three go to waste. The Canucks remain one of only two teams in the NHL that hasn't scored on a five-on-three, the other being the special teams juggernaut that is Edmonton. Suffice it to say, sharing any statistical anomaly with Edmonton should be somewhat embarrassing.

• At under five minutes, Cody Hodgson had one minute less icetime than Victor Oreskovich. Thinking about the playoffs, that is not a sign of trust. This is.

• Carey Price played well tonight. He's been good all season, really, and it wasn't that long ago that everybody was calling for Bob Gainey's head because he'd traded the wrong goalie. I brought crow for everybody. nom nom nom

• And finally, I wasn't a huge fan of Alex Burrows's game tonight. Not too long ago, he was scoring like crazy, so it's unfair to complain that he's not scoring. But he didn't score tonight. It would have been nice if he had done so, especially with the golden opportunities he was given. It was especially bothersome because he didn't do much else. His puck retrieval was below-average and his forechecking was ineffective. He's at his best when he's creating turnovers and getting the puck to the Sedins, not when he's waiting for the Sedins to get the puck to him.

Alex Burrows is on Team Mooney

The Inaugural Canucks Scrabble Battle takes place at 3pm tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon, and I would urge you, once again, to donate to the Canucks For Kids Fund on behalf of either Team Glass or Team Mooney. If you recall, the side that receives the most pledges will also receive the vital first play, and I want it. Heck, I might need it. As of yesterday, the totals, (courtesy of Canucks.com writer Derek Jory over at Fort Nucks), had Team Glass $30 out in front, but who knows how close things are now, especially when Jory himself threw his weight (and wallet) behind Team Glass? I thought maybe the writer's bond would be enough to draw Jory to my corner, but it appears that mullets are thicker are water.

But don't fret, Team Mooney acolytes. There is, yet, vocal support from within the Canucks organization, and it comes from an unlikely source. Tanner Glass's teammate, Alex Burrows. Here's Hosea Cheung, of Vancouver 24 Hours (p. 20):

When asked if Glass stood a chance, Alex Burrows immediately said no, adding his teammate was known to brag about his Scrabble skills. “That’s what he asked his fiancée for Christmas, a little Scrabble dictionary,” he said. “I don’t know how a Saskatchewan guy, not that smart, is going to do against a Scrabble pro.”

Burn. That said, Alex Burrows claiming Tanner Glass isn't very good at making words is like the pot calling the kettle unintelligible. But who am I to quibble? Ring it up, Burrows is a Bulie, although he should know I'm far from a Scrabble pro (unless you count playing Scrabble at work professional Scrabbling... just kidding, boss).

On the flipside, Cory Schneider is toeing the party line:

Goaltender Cory Schneider, however, was more diplomatic in support of Glass. “Those Dartmouth kids fall asleep with [a dictionary] under their pillow, they soak up the words while they sleep.

Funny guy, that Schneider. But let it be known Dartmouth alums, eggheads through they may be, can be beaten. Just ask Paul Bissonnette. Biznasty:

Ask lee stempniak how biznasty beat him in scrabble and he went to dartmouth

Ack, that's embarrassing. Skeeter beat me once, too, and he brings it up every time we hang out. That said, the bigger revelation here is that BizNasty scrabbles. Maybe PITB should be challenging him next. Scrabble for the homeless? Someone call the Phoenix Coyotes.

Make sure you're online at 3pm. Skeeter, my blogwife, will be liveblogging the Scrabble match right here at Pass it to Bulis; you can follow the virtual game board at Canucks.com/Scrabble; and I'm sure @VanCanucks and @PassItToBulis will be tweeting plenty of goodies. As for me, I'm off to study my playable three-letter words.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Flames, February 12, 2011

Canucks 4 - 2 Flames

There was a surprising amount of hand-wringing following Wednesday night's loss to the Anaheim Ducks, especially considering the Canucks hadn't dropped two consecutive games in regulation since November. Suffice it to say, there was little to worry about (unless you're Brad Zeimer, the Freddy Kreuger of Vancouver hockey reporting, in which case the possibility that people will realize there's nothing to worry about threatens your very source of power). Bearing in mind recent trends (such as zero pointless streaks in 2011), it was highly likely that we would see a bounce-back of flubberesque proportions. Unsurprisingly, that's exactly what we got. The Canucks gave themselves a pre-game Flubber rubdown and bounced back harder, even, than the laws of physics allow, capping off another fantastic Hockey Day in Canada with a win over the Calgary Flames. I watched this game:

• It was a tight game, and I need to state, for the record, that I'm thrilled by this. I love that the Flames are back to playing good hockey. While I relish watching them lose, it's not nearly as much fun when it's a foregone conclusion. The closeness of the last two contests has increased the entertainment level exponentially.

• The Sedins and Kesler combined for one paltry point last night--a Daniel Sedin assist, because he's still out for blood--but Alex Burrows and Mikael Samuelsson had two goals apiece. These guys are on fire right now, and it can only bode well for the Canucks if they jump from three scoring threats to five. Samuelsson turned the entire tide of the game with two great shots, including the game-winning goal. And, if you think the Sedins and Kesler weren't factors, consider that both his two goals don't happen without perfect screens by Kesler and Daniel Sedin, respectively.

• Samuelsson has really picked up his play, most notably getting his lethal wrist shot back, but it should also be noted that he's now getting first-unit powerplay time and he's back playing on Ryan Kesler's wing. Those are plum offensive minutes, and they factor into his uptick in scoring. Consider this effect the next time you bemoan the trade of Michael Grabner.

• Good eye by Craig Simpson on Samuelsson's even-strength goal (above). It was a set play. After winning the draw cleanly to Bieksa, Kesler heads to the net while Mason Raymond inches up the wall towards the blue line. Meanwhile, Samuelsson parks himself in an open area, high above the right faceoff dot. After Bieksa and Raymond open up a passing lane, Raymond feeds him for a quick snapshot. Both the shot and Kesler's screen in front are perfectly placed, and Kiprusoff has no chance. Now, how do you know it's a set play? Because nobody ever goes there. It's like the back corner of the Costco parking lot. You know that anybody who parks there is up to something.

• Mason Raymond is often infuriating, but he's also got 9 points in his last 8 games. I hate the way he circles the zone (a move I heard one guy call the MayRay-Go-Round), but it's hard to fault a guy that can be counted on to keep the puck 200 feet from his own net, even if he rarely takes it to the other team's. Plus, he had two assists. His goal-mouth pass to Alex Burrows for the opening goal looked accidental, as Raymond appeared to lose the puck while trying to shoot it. However, he went to the net and got a fortuitous bounce, and that's a common string of events. Furthermore, Raymond nearly had another assist when he beat his defender with a wicked head juke before centering the puck for Kesler, who couldn't bury it. Heck, the way Samuelsson and Kesler are going, if Raymond can continue to buy space and get them the puck a little more often, he'll be fine.

• A while back, Justin Bourne wrote an article on the ways players slow down the game. One of them was to have wingers kill time getting waved out of the faceoff circle on purpose. We saw another use for this tactic last night, as Niklas Hagman got himself intentionally tossed in order to give his linemates a bit more rest after an icing call. It was amusing to watch Henrik Sedin just stand there, waiting for Hagman to get kicked out, as if to say, go ahead, idiot.

• Manny Malhotra had a two-point last night, picking up assists on both of Alex Burrows' goals. In both cases, all he did was win a faceoff. He won 13 of 16 faceoffs last night. One faceoff win led to the vital opening goal; one led to the empty-net goal that sealed the win. As Skeeter said last week, Malhotra is an enabler, and his remarkable faceoff prowess bookended this victory. Stuff like this happens more often than you realize; he just doesn't always end up on the scoresheet for it.
  

• Jannik Hansen had a game-high six hits, and continues to be the best forechecker and pokechecker the Canucks have. He's a pokechecking monster (a pokeymon, if you will). It's like when your parents first joined Facebook: he pokes everything. He's also a huge part of the Canucks' penalty-kill, which killed off all three penalties the team took and now has a streak of 40 kills, more than enough for Halo 2's Overkill Medal. Like M.O.D.O.K., one of the greatest comic book villains of all time, The Canucks' penalty-kill is a mental organism designed only for killing. Jannik Hansen is a huge part of this.

• Speaking of the penalty-kill, I liked Alex Burrows' heads-up play when Andrew Alberts broke his stick. First, Burrows gives Andy Alby his stick, then stickless, he skates right up to Jarome Iginla and nudges him away from everything. It takes them both out of the play, turning an effective 5-on-3 with Jarome Iginla on it to a 4-on-3 without him. Clever.

• Kevin Bieksa was, again, the rock of the Canucks' defense, and he played some delicious defense on Jarome Iginla. Not since Brach's Rocks have I seen such a deliciousness from a rock. Bieksa took his lumps, too. In one instance, Jarome Iginla took him out with a Mario 64-style butt drop. Bieksa had a team-high 25:24 of ice time, which is impressively low considering the injuries on the back end. For contrast: Jay Bouwmeester had over twenty-six minutes of ice time, and the Flames' defense is healthy.

• The Canucks were able to keep Bieksa's minutes down somewhat because they got some great play out of their bottom-three guys, especially from Aaron Rome. He picked up an assist, finished the game a plus-2, and dished out three hits, including one Ballard-esque hipcheck along the boards. It's a little easier to understand Vigneault's man-crush on Rome when he plays like that, but here's something I'll never fully understand: the philosophy of Martin Heidegger.

• And finally: Sami Salo had a nice, quiet first game back. Give Rick Bowness and the rest of the coaching staff credit for resisting the urge to give him a (Byfuglienian) buttload of minutes. He looked a little shaky at times, including a seriously foolish interference penalty in the third, but that's okay. He's rocking a four-game health streak now.

Nardwuar Interviews Alex Burrows

Nardwuar the Human Serviette is one of those love-him-or-hate-him kind of guys. He can be a bit annoying and more than a little twee, but there's definitely no disputing his originality as an interviewer. His unique style has earned him international acclaim, and it's always worth a mention when he sits down with someone. With that in mind, here is a recent interview he did with Alex Burrows.

Even if you find Nardwuar a tad off-putting (like Alex Burrows does, for instance), there's one thing you can never dispute: the guy definitely does his research. He asks Burrows questions about his QMJHL days, his stint in the broadcast booth, obscure Canucks history, and Burr's last NHL fight, which was with Dan Hamhuis. I had completely forgotten about that.

That said, the interview is still awkward as all Hell, because it's Nardwuar. Consider this exchange:

Nardwuar: Tom Larscheid! Bingo Bango...

Burrows: Luongo.

Yeah, not a lot of chemistry there. At least Burrows nailed the "doot doot" in the signoff. Try to ignore how cringy the clip can get at times, because Nardwuar also produces some remarkable gifts for Burr from a backpack full of Canucks memorabilia. Have you ever wondered which former Canuck goaltender has his own pump-up record? Have you ever seen the obscenely poseable Roberto Luongo figurine? Nardwuar and Alex Burrows have got you covered.

Thanks to the Bulies who pointed us to this (especially Michael, who e-mailed us a link). Our apologies for a painfully slow response. We fail.

Burrows Interviews Bieksa, Unwittingly Reveals Himself as Passionate Romantic

If you haven't seen this fantastic video of Alex Burrows interviewing Kevin Bieksa from ESPN.com, you are missing out. It is remarkably hilarious.

Many stick taps and gloved taps on the helmet to Nucks Misconduct.

Quotes Taken Out of Context: SOB Edition Three

"Burr can't get into my kitchen - he can never get in my kitchen."

- Shane O'Brien, January 26, 2011

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Flames, January 23, 2011

Canucks 3 - Flames 4 (SO)

It's a bummer that, for the second time in as many games, the Canucks had to fall in a shootout. That said, I'm hoping that the fans are smart enough to differentiate between the sluggish team that barely managed a point versus San Jose on Thursday night, and tonight's team, which improved as the game went on and controlled the run of play for much of the third period versus the Flames. Yes, Vancouver, your team only skated away with one point, and yes, they've now lost 5 of 6, but if you were looking for improvement, it was there tonight. Or, at least I felt it was when I watched this game:

• You'll hear the media people saying that the Canucks have dropped 5 of 6, but it's somewhat sensationalistic and irresponsible to report it this way when only 1 of the 5 losses was in regulation. They've gotten six points in their last six games, which is the same amount of points they'd have collected by going 3 and 3. The next time someone tells you the Canucks are spiraling, respond by pointing out they're actually playing .500 hockey. It's still worth a mutter, as this team should be better than .500, but it's not worth a panic, as they're not worse than .500, either. Not to mention they were the only of the top three NHL teams to get a point today. Detroit and Philadelphia--the two teams with whom they're jostling at the top of the league--lost in regulation.

• The real big story, I guess, is the odd decision from the NHL war room to call Alex Tanguay's shootout attempt a goal. Vancouver fans are right to be outraged. The call goes against the NHL's rule for reviewable goals, which stipulates that the puck has to be visibly across the goal line in order to overturn an official's no-goal call. In this case, the puck was lost in Luongo's pads, and there was no way to see it cross the line. Though it obviously did, by the letter of the law, the referee's no-goal call should have stood, due to inconclusive footage. Puzzlingly, the NHL used their heads and determined that, if Luongo was in the net, so was the puck. More than anything, it's odd that they decided tonight was the night to go against the letter of the law and utilize common sense. Since when do they do that? Jason Botchford dug up three distinct instances where the War Room called this the other way, and I think that's the infuriating thing here: it's not consistent with how they've been handling this situation in the past. Plus, where was this approach when the "Intent to Blow" controversy started?

• Meh. This game really shouldn't have even gone to the shootout, anyway. The Canucks' power play, usually so good, has now thoroughly failed the team in two consecutive games and dropped to third in the NHL. Identical to last night, the team went 0-for-5 a man up, including, again, an important 4-on-3 in overtime. The unit's had a few short droughts this season, but they need to get this fixed right away. This drought has effectively cost the team two points in the last three days.

• In the first period, Kevin Bieksa took a massive blow to the eye from Tom Kostopoulos, which turned out to be a massive blow to the whole Canucks team when Bieksa didn't return. Word is he's not concussed (yea!), but one of his eyes is swollen completely shut (nay!).

• Do you remember, back in November, when the Canucks' defense was in total disarray? It got so bad that Vigneault put his foot down, then made his top two pairings and committed himself to leaving them together for better or for worse. It's been two months since then, and we've taken for granted the defensive stability that grew out of his decision. It was apparent after the loss of Bieksa threw everything back into disarray. Ehrhoff, Edler, and Hamhuis all wound up playing over twenty-six minutes, but their ice time and shifts didn't make much sense and they didn't synchronize in the slightest. Meanwhile, Keith Ballard still didn't crack twenty minutes, and Chris Tanev's minutes actually decreased from the last game.

• Worse, nobody was ready or rested to join their regular units on the powerplay, which meant seeing Hamhuis and Samuelsson on the top unit, as well as Ehrhoff and Edler with the hapless second unit. It was a waste of a powerplay. I want to say Vigneault should have used a timeout to rest Ehrhoff and Edler to join their regular forwards, but Christian Ehrhoff played a game-high thirty-three minutes tonight; Vigneault clearly forgot rest was an option for him.

• I know Manny Malhotra is one of the forwards mired in a pretty remarkable scoring slump, but he had a great game tonight. Alternate Captain Mal was all over the ice defensively, he won 13 of 22 faceoffs, and he had 5 blocked shots--a game-high.

• Raffi Torres, on the other hand, had another subpar outing, and this time he earned himself a benching. Torres only played 5:43 tonight, only thirty-seven seconds more than Kevin Bieksa. The intermission peewee teams had more icetime.

• Mason Raymond had a few grade A chances, but he's still fighting the puck. Of all the slumping forwards, he's the one that concerns me the most. The Canucks are really thin on the wing if he's not an effective weapon.

• The Sedin line was solid and dangerous again tonight, as Daniel and Henrik both collected a point. However, the real stars of their line were Alex Burrows, who had two assists and was on the ice for all three Canuck goals, and Alex Edler, who was also on the ice for all three goals, and scored two of them himself. The first goal, above, came on a beautiful one-timed snap shot. The second goal came after Jay Bouwmeester slewfooted his goaltender in an ill-advised attempt to distract Alex Burrows.

• A brief word on Daniel Sedin's crosscheck to the back of Mark Giordano: awesome. I recognize that he took a penalty for it, but good on him for responding after the referees let the Flames brutalize the twins all night. Case in point: when "Macho Man" Cory Sarich drove a flying elbow into Henrik Sedin's face. I understand the referees want to let the teams play, but WWE finishing moves are a bit much.

• Ryan Kesler played a surreal game tonight. He seems to have willed his thumb back to health, as he took an unreal 30 faceoffs and won 19 of them. He scored a shorthanded goal that tied the game in the third period. He shadowed Jarome Iginla all night and kept the all-star forward off the scoring sheet. Also, during the second intermission, he flew into outer space and punched a comet into the sun.

• Speaking of punching, the Flames' third goal was a direct result of Roberto Luongo's aggravating tendency to punch the puck instead of catching it cleanly. Somebody needs to remind him he's supposed to catch the puck, not kill it. He's the Rooster Cogburn of goalies.

• Weirdest Kevin Weekes statement: "This is why Tambellini hasn't scored--he shoots lasers." I assume he meant to say that Tambellini isn't using his great shot enough, but it sounded like he was ragging on him for literally shooting lasers. And, as everybody knows, lasers are just fine, unless the walls are covered with mirrors.

• And finally, the Canucks only had 15 hits tonight. Unacceptable. Robbie Williams has more hits, and he sucks.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Sharks, January 03, 2011

Canucks 4 - 3 Sharks

The Canucks came into San Jose to play their third road game in four nights. Unbeaten in five, and expected to be dog-tired, there was a sense among Canuck nation that a loss to San Jose was as inevitable as the extraplanar robots that chase down lawbreakers. The Sharks came into this game fourth in the Western Conference, and with their continued employment of Joe Thornton, Dany Heatley, and Dan Boyle, looked to be formidable foes.

They were formidable foes. That said, they still got beat by a Canucks team that has seemingly forgotten how to lose. As a born loser, I'm here if they need the help, but I don't think they'll call. In the meantime, I guess Daniel and I will just have to sit around watching them win, like we did tonight when we watched this game:

• The Second Law of Sedinery: if the Sedins find themselves alone behind the defense, you may as well go line up at center ice. They will score. The opening goal (above), off a turnover by Joe Thornton (and not Jason Demers, as crazy old John Garrett insisted), is a classic case of Wizardous Sedinerie. Antti Niemi made a common mistake and got Daniel confused with Henrik. Had he realized that Henrik had the first touch, he might have realized Daniel was about to get the second. Instead, he anticipated a shot from Henrik Sedin. Rookie mistake. Also a rookie mistake? Letting Gary Busey date your mom.

• Speaking of Rookie of the Year, let's talk about casts. The second-line featured a rotating one, as Jannik Hansen, Jeff Tambellini, and Mason Raymond all saw time as Ryan Kesler's wings. When Tambellini and Raymond were together, they showed the potential to be the fastest duo since Northstar and Aurora. (Other similarities: both duos are Canadian, and spend an inordinate amount of time in dark blue. Differences: Raymond's not gay, and Tambellini's not a woman.) Anyway, Raymond and Hansen finished the night on that line, and Hansen may have re-won his spot there with this game-tying goal late in the second period. Early in the season, I grumbled about Hansen spending time on the second line--the old Jannik finished his checks but not his scoring chances. That said, like a piece of furniture haunted by the ghost of a carpenter, Hansen has magically developed finish. #WorstAnalogyAward

• What was going on during the Canucks second goal? Ehrhoff and Edler apparently switched places with Daniel and Henrik, briefly becoming the forwards on the rush. They didn't do too badly, either. Perhaps Edler felt slighted when Skeeter suggested he didn't have the stuff to play center, or perhaps the Sedins felt pigeonholed as offensive wizards and wanted a chance to play defense. Third option: the Sedins forgot that the teams switched ends for the second, and were thrilled about being in behind the defense for a second time.

• Tanner Glass played 8:25 tonight, which is about on par with his usual minutes, except that he spent ten minutes in the box for two fights (a full one-sixth of the game). The fourth line in general was noticeable tonight, spending a lot of time in the offensive zone. Chalk this up to the return of Mason Raymond, which has banished a top-nine player to the bottom three. And, while the line may not have seen an increase in minutes, they saw a definite increase in third period minutes, as Alain Vigneault trusted them with late shifts in a close game.

• Part of this might have been a desire to play fresh guys on the back-to-back games, but another part might have been that Alex Bolduc was winning faceoffs when Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler weren't. For the third straight game, the Canucks lost the faceoff battle, although this time by a very narrow margin. Manny Malhotra was his usual stalwart self, winning 14-of-18, including all six in the defensive zone. Just Manny being Manny. The other two big drawmen were kind of crummy. Kind of really crummy. Kesler was 35% in the circle. Henrik was 27%.

• Continuing the negativity, on San Jose's first goal, Rome needs to cover Clowe in front of the net, not the random patch of ice to Schneider's left, which he so ably defended. On San Jose's second goal, Henrik needs to not be in the box. Captain Hook strikes again. On San Jose's third goal, Schneider needs to remove all banana peels from his crease prior to the start of the period. Open letter to Rollie Melanson: get on that.

• Christian Ehrhoff was good tonight. He facilitated breakouts like working at McDonald's, had 5 shots, blocked 4, and picked up two assists. I've heard fans saying that, now that Bieksa's playing well, we should trade Ehrhoff instead. Tonight, Ehrhoff showed San Jose why they never should have let him go; let's not wish that same regret upon ourselves.
  

• Like Evangeline Lilly in a Live Links commercial, Mason Raymond draws a lot of calls. It's good to see him buzzing around the offensive zone, falling down like Cory Schneider.

• Not to rag on Cory Schneider too much. Despite his shaky moments, such as collapsing like a Jenga tower in a rowboat, he made some incredible saves, and also let in less goals than Antti Niemi. These are both positives. The Canucks are now 7-0-2 when Schneider starts.

• Worst outfit of the night goes to Dan Murphy, who wore an ugly tie that looked like it was made of dried beef broth. Someone needs to get him on What Not to Wear immediately. Seriously, where did he get it? The toilet store?

• Observation: every time the puck goes over the glass, pro hockey players become children stargazing with their fathers. They point with such enthusiasm it's embarrassing. Look, Dad, a shooting star! Didja see it? Didja?
  
• Word was Kesler might sit this one out after taking a shot to the foot in the game prior, but he wound up playing twenty-three very effective minutes. He put up four shots, as well as attempting another six, one of which hit the crossbar after a beautiful tip.
  

• Speaking of shots, the Canucks put up 47 and attempted 70. They peppered Niemi like a flavourless steak. A ton of those shots ended up in Niemi's glove, which the Canucks apparently hate as much as the shooter in The Jerk hates oil cans. The Canucks won the last game against the Sharks with considerable hittiness, but tonight, shootiness was their primary asset.

• And finally, let's give major credit to Alex Burrows, who took it upon himself to win da turd by scoring the game-winner halfway into da turd. The refs reviewed it for something that isn't reviewable but, since many officials still sort of hate Burr for that thing that happened, it makes sense.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Flyers, December 28, 2010

Canucks 6 - 2 Flyers

The Flyers and Canucks were a good matchup on paper. Both teams have excellent strength down the middle and strong forward lines overall, a solid defensive corps, and comparable records. Some said, prior to tonight's contest, that we might be looking at a potential Stanley Cup Finals matchup. Roberto Luongo said it was a big measuring stick game. The Flyers hadn't lost in Vancouver since 1989. That is to say, nobody expected a retread of the Columbus Blue Jackets game. Mitigating factors: the flyers were playing without Chris Pronger, as well as, seemingly, motivation and heart. This may come as a surprise, but Chris Pronger is a good hockey player, and a team without him is lesser. How much lesser is now a valid question.

But who cares about the Flyers? The Vancouver Canucks dominated this game in every aspect, and, somewhat giddy, we watched:

• First things first: just today, I sat down and compiled a sweet list of the best 50 goals the Canucks had scored in 2010. Then Alex Burrows went and made a fool of Kimmo Timonen (above). Next time, I would appreciate some notice, Alex. Sour grapes aside, this was one of the prettiest goals we've seen this season, and shows why Alex Burrows is not just a glorified tap-in artist. It also shows that he is a legitimate complement to the Sedins. Proof: his unwillingness to shoot the puck.

• The Canucks riddled the Philadelphia net with shots like it was the last duck in Duck Hunt and they were afraid they'd get mocked by that stupid dog. 49 shots in total, including 22 in the first period alone, and we should note that they weren't just winging the puck, willy-nilly. They were putting up points like they were holding the NES gun up to the screen like a cheaty cheater who cheats. Brian "The Mighty Boosh" Boucher got pulled after four goals and a stinkeye (check out his glare, post-whiff, on this goal), and he didn't play too badly. The Flyers defense simply gave up more chances than a Monopoly board.

• John Buccigross tweeted this evening that Ryan Kesler is currently the best player in the Western Conference. He's wrong, but the sentiment is touching. Kes is on fire. He scored twice tonight, and was a crossbar away from the second hat trick of his career (and this year). As well as he's playing, you could argue that he hit the crossbar on purpose to set up Jeff Tambellini. You'd be completely full of rubbish, but you could argue it. It'd be a bit of a Chewbacca Defense, but you could argue it. Kesler put up another three points tonight to extend his point streak to eight games, he had seven shots, and he showcased breakaway speed that would make Gob Bluth look like he was never a member of the Hot Cops. These days, Kesler is playing like the Canucks are the United States of America. You could say everything he touches turns to gold right now, except his silver medal.

• Jeff Tambellini is similarly aflame. No longer aflame? Darryl Sutter.

• But seriously, Tambellini is quietly riding a six-game point streak of his own, and he's been a solid linewife for Kesler in the absence of Mason Raymond. Do you think, when Raymond gets back, things will be awkward? I've been raising your kids, Mason!

• Tambellini had a game-high nine shots, by the way. Toss in Jannik Hansen's 1 shot (which scored, despite clearly being a pass), and the second line combined for 18 shots on goal, 4 of which rippled the mesh. While we're on the subject, let's establish that I find "rippled the mesh" kind of a gross thing to say, because I wear nothing under my swim trunks.

• Forgotten stat: Jannik Hansen continues to lead Canucks forwards in hits. He had 6 tonight, for a total of 70 on the season, just 5 short of Andrew Alberts for the team lead.

• Speaking of Alberts, word is he left Rogers Arena with a bit of a shiner after Jody Shelley sucker-punched him. We at PITB do not endorse the sucker punch, but we do endorse classic ska band Five Iron Frenzy's catchy ditty, Sucker Punch. We also endorse punching suckas. The jury is still out on Zack Snyder's upcoming film, Sucker Punch.

• The Canucks won the faceoff circle yet again, coming out of 66% of draws with the puck. The big three won their draws with typical regularity, but it's worth noting that Alex Bolduc also won 6 of 11, and wingers Samuelsson, Torres, and Tambellini all won a draw as well. I have a theory that the Canucks are grooming Tanner Glass for the 4th-line center job (evidenced, perhaps, by footage of Manny Malhotra showing him faceoff techniques), but Alex Bolduc is quietly winning his coach's trust in the circle, and giving the top faceoff team in the NHL (by a wide margin) yet another option. Bolduc had 3 defensive zone faceoffs, and you can expect that number to increase if he gets a reputation for winning them.

• We haven't talked about the Sedins yet at all, but they were fantastic tonight. They put up 5 points between them--1 goal and 1 assist for Daniel, and 3 assists for Henrik--and they buzzed around the offensive zone like twin bees. (Sidenote: holy crap do you remember TWIN BEE?!) Henrik now leads the NHL with 39 assists, and he's on pace for 91. We all know he's gunning for 100 assists. He hates when he scores, because it's not an assist. Goals are secondary to him. They're even more secondary than secondary assists.

• The Sedins have put together a string of fabulous games, and I can't help but think that the improvement in Alex Burrows' play has given their line a cohesion they had previously been playing without. Until recently, they'd been putting up points, but they hadn't been dictating pace with their typical cycle game and strong possession. They're doing that now, and when people are claiming a teammate of theirs is the best player in their Conference, you know the Canucks are strong.

• The Sedins are so good that fans cheer like it's an odd-man rush when they come across the blue line 2-on-2. Have you noticed? We noticed. It's funny. Laugh at it.

• Aaron Volpatti finally had his first NHL fight, and we found it adorable. It was nice of Sean O'Donnell to indulge him, as well as re-engage him after their first attempt ended in minor penalties. He held his own. Whatever.

• The Canucks' defense was so good we didn't notice them whatsoever. Like Abed delivering a baby in the background of Community, they quietly made a major impact on tonight's episode. We often question the way Alain Vigneault metes out minutes, but when your top four defenders are playing exactly the way you want them to, you don't keep them from the ice.

• And finally, a word about Ryan Kesler's second goal, which looked a little like he and Henrik were playing skee-ball, not hockey. Unfortunately, Brian Boucher did not dispense tickets. Instead, he was dispensed from the game.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, December 1, 2010

Canucks 7 - 2 Flames

Two days ago, I called out Mason Raymond. I wondered if he was still playing hurt, or if his diminished numbers were closer to what we should expect from him going forward. To close the article, I wrote the following:

The third option is that Raymond is just a streaky player, and he's poised for another strong December. Last season, he scored 8 times in the month, including a hat trick in Calgary. If Raymond closes out the calendar year with a handful of tallies, then this whole post is a waste of time. I wouldn't mind. Is MayRay on the verge of a criticism-silencing hot streak?

It would appear that he is. Raymond was tonight's first star, netting his 2nd annual December hat-trick against Calgary, and generally making me look like an idiot. That's fine. I know I am personally responsible for this, and there will be my solace. Raymond showcased his speed and his ability to break away from defenders, and he also got that little bit of puck luck that can really help to get a guy going. He'd better stay going, too, or I'll have plenty more to say. I can be very cruel. Just ask my self-esteem, which I have been systematically tearing down for years. Anyway, I watched this game:

• I am a fan of Jeff Tambellini. He's got 4 points in the 3 games since his call-up, 7 points in 9 games this season, and the Canucks are 8-0-1 with him in the lineup. His speed and ability to get to loose pucks and get into scoring areas is an excellent complement to Kesler and Raymond's similar abilities, but he adds a different dimension in that he can also get a shot off in limited space. Earlier in the season, I made a case for Samuelsson as the best fit for this line, but I might have to eat that now. Last season, Ray and Kes played with Samuelsson and Grabner, and both players had their strengths. Samuelsson had the quick trigger, Grabner had the raw speed, but Tambellini has both of these elements. Can we keep him?

• Yes, Vancouver's second line was consistently dangerous tonight. The three forwards combined for 4 goals and 8 points tonight. I move that we call them the Jessie Spano line, because they're addicted to speed.

• The Canucks were all freshly-shaven tonight, and it was strange. I'm not used to seeing Ryan Kesler without his trademark stubble. He looked naked. That seems to be a theme with Kes these days. He's worse than Malin Akerman.

• The Canucks went 3-for-8 on the powerplay, and killed all three penalties they faced, scoring a shorthanded goal during one of them. They also scored 3 even-strength goals. 12 skaters got points. Not a lot to complain about tonight . Although Tanner Glass was a minus-1. Don't make us criticize you, Tanner. We've got your family and friends breathing down our neck, watching our every move... it's very nerve-wracking.

• On the plus side, let's give Glass some credit for his scrap with Tim Jackman. Rick Rypien is the one who always gets noticed for fighting outside his weight class, but Jackman has a good four inches on Glass. The fight was a draw, but I'll give the decision to Glass, because I really want him to play Scrabble with me. Glass's fighting has definitely improved, by the way. He showcased some excellent jukes and parries.

• I normally like Curtis Glencross, but what was he thinking? He seemed hellbent on destroying Keith Ballard, as though perhaps Ballard had stolen the crown jewel from Glencross's mythical sarcophagus, thereby resurrecting his evil spirit and incurring his otherworldy wrath. First, he hooks him, then he boards him, then he cross-checks him in the face. More than likely, Glencross is looking at a suspension, and perhaps a vanquishing at the hands of a mummy hunter.

• Speaking of Ballard, he played a decent game tonight. He had just under 15 minutes, but in that time, he had four blocked shots, a team-high. The defenseman with the most minutes, if you're wondering, was Christian Ehrhoff, who played 24:07.

• To the folks claiming the blowout against San Jose was directly caused by the absence of Kevin Bieksa, you must be right, because he didn't play in this game, either. Oh no wait, yes he did.

• I always find those "keys to the game" things a little obvious, but Ferraro and the rest of the crew knocked it out tonight. They claimed Calgary plays a decent game but is prone to devastating five or six-minute lulls. Calgary vehemently supported this claim. Every good stretch was followed by a stretch where their play was so poor Dan Ellis mistook it for Mike Smith.

• Poor Miikka Kiprusoff. Not only does Raymond deke him out of his shorts, but Kipper takes Alex Tanguay's knee to the back of his head once he's beaten. Perhaps Tanguay was trying to send a Ballard-like message? Next time I won't be so gentle.

• Speaking of messages, I recognize that Brent Sutter was trying to send one to his forwards, for played a lackadaisical game, but putting four defenseman out on the power play is a little like giving up, no? It seemed like a conflicting message to punish forwards for not going full-tilt while personally throwing in the towel. That's like telling your kids to eat their vegetables while you feed yourself cake frosting.

• And why is Sutter being so hard on his team anyway? The Canucks sleep doctor predicted this, so it was written. That sleep doctor is the greatest predictor of sporting outcomes since Paul the Prognoctopus.

• I really do hate the second-unit powerplay, but did you know that the first-unit only got one of the three powerplay goals? Granted, the last two goals came after Calgary had quit playing, but the second unit still produced. They'll have to, because Kesler's not coming back; he's too excellent an addition to that first-unit (his pass on this goal is evidence).

• Did everyone see Double Moustache Man? He is legend.

• And finally, a word about Alex Burrows. His goal tonight was a fabulous bit of patience and intelligence. Burrows outwaits the defender, then looks for the pass to Daniel. But, in a split-second, he recognizes that Kiprusoff's cheating across and snaps the puck past him. Burrows has a goal in three straight games and points in four straight. He could be on the verge of a very good stretch, like the one a cat does right after it wakes up.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Sharks, November 27, 2010

Canucks 6 - 1 Sharks

Often times, we react to a Canucks game as though Vancouver was the only team on the ice. By this, I mean that, for Canucks fans, the final score of the game only reflects how the Canucks played. If they win, it's because they played well. If they lose, it's because they played poorly. We tend to ignore factors like, for instance, the play of the other team. I bring this up because while the Canucks played well enough to win last night, it was the piss-poor effort of the San Jose Sharks that turned this one into an exercise in heinousness.

Yes, last night's game was heinous, but since the Canucks won it, I can't complain. It was a beautiful atrocity, like when you hit the seagull that stole your sandwich with a rock, mid-flight, and you see both plummet into the ocean. The part of me that appreciates fine things (hockey, sandwiches) groans a little, but the part of me that enjoys seeing the enemy drown in a sea of fail cackles with glee. Oh my, yes, I watched this beautiful atrocity:

• Let's talk about good coaching. In the third period, Alain Vigneault switched up his lines. He wasn't line-juggling for fun, or just to get something started; he was shrewdly reacting to the desperation of the opposing coach. When Todd McLellan starting whole-hogging it and put Thornton, Marleau, and Heatley together, Vigneault reacted by creating a checking line of Samuelsson, Malhotra, and Glass. It was a smart move. The Canucks' new trio scored the next two goals and negated any offensive pushback from the Sharks. The insurance goal (above) came after a blocked shot by Tanner Glass and some brilliant individual work by Mikael Samuelsson.
  
  
• That said, how many times do I have to say Tanner Glass should not be on the frakkin' third line? Seriously, do I have to write a song about it? Do I have to write a sonnet in perfect iambic pentameter (apart from occasional "feminine endings") with an ABBA structure right up to the concluding couplet? Because that's what I'll do.
  
  

Tanner Glass should not be on the third line,
For his offensive skills, at best, do want,
And thus, it leaves Vancouver's forwards gaunt
Of scoring punch among their topmost nine.
That Tanner Glass has value, yes, is true,
At checking, and supplying grittiness.
The fourth line profits from his hittiness,
But third-line shifts are shifty through and through.
Defensively, he's sound, and that's a plus,
But both teams will find scoring threats abated.
His fourth-lineness is greatly underrated,
So why, Vigneault, wouldst thou promote him thus?
A third-line shift doth crown a list of wrongs.
Let's keep him on the fourth, where he belongs.

• Here's hoping that was Samuelsson's breakout game. Two goals, and both of them a candidate for what we like to call Sam's Surprises. It's incredible what a multi-goal game can do for a guy, especially just in terms of projected stats. Samuelsson is now on pace for 22 goals. It's less goals than last year, but he's also on pace for 59 points, which would be a new career-high. Bet you didn't know that. Samuelsson's first goal was absolutely brilliant, as he totally bamboozled Niclas Wallin with the shot fake, and timed it perfectly so that Wallin stepped aside right when Niemi was being screened. That was a highly intelligent play from a highly intelligent player.
  
  
• And before we move on, poor Dan Boyle. I'm not sure what happened there, but here's my theory: Seven years ago, Boyle entreated Satan for his excellent hockey skills, and the dark lord sent Samuelsson, one of his secret minions (which is why he looks kinda goatlike), to grant the wish. Samuelsson arrived in a plume of wickedness and fulfilled the request. "But one day," he said, fiendishly, "I will call on you for a favour, and you must perform it, no matter the cost." Then in a wisp of devilfire, he returned to the lap of the damned. Anyway, he totally just wasted that favour.
  
  
• I thought Alex Burrows was excellent, even before he scored. He's been one of the Canucks best forwards the last two games, and it he appears to be rounding back into form. Also rounding into form? A potter's wheel.
  
  
• How terrified are opposing teams of Henrik Sedin when he's camped behind the net? Watch the Burrows goal and check out how much time Henrik has back there. Furthermore, check out how oblivious they are to Burrows smartly sliding into a scoring area. Everybody in the world knows Henrik is looking for him (I was watching Burrows from the moment Henrik got turned around). But the Sharks are so concerned with what he's going to do that they forget to take anybody else.
  
  
• A word about Keith Ballard. He was solid, playing 17:52, scoring a goal (bit of a fluke, that), and leading the team with 4 hits. He played on a pairing with Dan Hamhuis that I quite liked, and finished the night a plus-2. Here's hoping he's beginning to turn a corner and getting comfortable here. Leave the discomfort for people that buy mattresses on Craigslist.
  
  
• Many people attributed the lopsided victory to the absence of Kevin Bieksa. I hate to be the voice of reason (not true, I love it), but Bieksa was the best defender in the last game. The Canucks may have won without him, but they didn't win because they were without him. Give your head a shake, person who thought otherwise.
  
  
• Dan Hamhuis should have been a waiter, because boy oh boy can he deliver a check. I'm especially impressed with the heavy shrug he gave to ensure Douglas Murray got maximum airtime.
  
  
• While we're talking about checks, it should be pointed out that we saw the Canucks' new defensive additions pay off in spades last night. Typically, San Jose pushes the smaller Canucks around. This game was a different story. Hamhuis destroyed Douglas Murray, Alberts crushed Logan Couture, and Keith Ballard led the hit parade with a game-high 4. The stat counters claim both teams delivered 20 hits. To that I say, bah. The Canucks won the physical game handily, largely on the strength of the newfound hittiness of their top-six, as well as the total slumber party from a typically strong San Jose team.
  
  
• I owe Jannik Hansen an apology. Last IWTG, I said his hands were like the hands of the Swedish Chef, a classic Muppet show character, but on the pretty pass that led to this goal, they were more like Rowlf's.
  
  
• The Canucks have talked about being able to roll all four line. How's this? No Canuck played under ten minutes last night.
  
  
• And finally, let's talk, as we often do, about faceoffs. In a battle of the two best faceoff teams in the league, the Canucks won 57% of the draws, led by a 10-for-14 showing by Henrik Sedin. This is awesome, in that Henrik is the third-best of the Canucks three faceoff guys. When he's going, the team is going to win in the circle. Henrik won all 5 of his draws in the offensive zone, too. That'll help. Manny Malhotra had a rare sub-50% night, winning only 9 of 20 draws. Of note: the Sharks were without their best faceoff guy in Scott Nichol, and you can bet he would have helped.