The Best of the Sedins, 2010-11 (10-6)

PITB's first post ever was a top 5 countdown of the best Sedin goals of last season, posted exactly a year ago today. We thought, in honour of our first birthday, and the fact that the Sedins are totally balls, it was time to return to our roots. What are blogs for if not for lists?

Unlike last year, there is no de facto number one, but there are about fifteen plays worthy of a spot in the top five. As a result, we've doubled the list, and will now be counting down the top ten Sedin plays of 2010-11. Be warned: this list is highly subjective. Last week's post, in which we shared 12 wizardous candidates, proved consensus on this issue to be impossible. As a result, we just decided to go with our gut, and I can safely say that my gut's never steered me wrong (apart from the time it asked for a bacon sundae).

Anyway. Here are plays 10 - 6. Check back here at 4pm sharp for the final five.

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Was This Goal a Set Play?

Here's a basic principle for watching the Sedins: they never do anything by accident. Often times, the twins will pull off something so unthinkable that you'd be forgiven for deeming it a fluke. It never is. Rather, it's a set play from two eternal optimists--guys convinced everything they try will work. Usually it does.

With that in mind, take a look at Alex Burrows's goal from last night's season-ending matchup with the Calgary Flames. At first glance, it looks like an accident: Daniel Sedin comes out from behind the net and tries to go top corner with a shot. Instead, he misses wide and hits Alex Burrows in the gut. The puck falls in front of Burr and he taps it in. But that's not actually what you see. This was a set play, executed to perfection. Here are three items of argumentative proof:

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Flames, April 10, 2011

Canucks 3 - 2 Flames (OT)

For the third time in the last four years, the Canucks and Flames found themselves paired up for game 82 with little on the line. Considering the lopsided outcome of the previous two season-enders, with the Flames walloping the Canucks 7-1 in 2008 and the Canucks matching that goal total in a 7-3 rout last year, one might have assumed that this contest wouldn't be lively or close. But it was. Like extramarital sex with a ghost, this one was a spirited affair. After falling behind by two, Vancouver needed a third-period comeback and an overtime marker from Christian Ehrhoff to head into the postseason on a winning note. I watched this game:

• Also a winning note: C.

• Just like last year, Daniel and Henrik combined for an absolute beauty in the final game of the season, setting up Ryan Kesler for the game-tying goal (above). This one adhered to the Third Law of Sedinery, which says that the Sedins will always make one more pass than is necessary. Consider: Daniel is in behind the defense. Most other players cut to the net in this instance for what is routinely called a breakaway. Instead, Daniel goes wide, drawing both defenders to him, then makes a backpass through four guys to Henrik, who finds Kesler trailing the play. Seriously. The Sedins are the only guys that find trailers on breakaways. These guys love trailers. They have to be a half hour early for every movie, that's how much they love trailers.

• The assist was Daniel Sedin's second of the night, after a centring pass that allowed Alex Burrows to cut the lead in half. With that, Daniel finishes the season with 104 points, good for the Art Ross trophy. He truly was out for blood. Now, it may be eight less than his brother scored last season, but it's also ten more than his brother scored this season. Suck on that, Henrik.

• I love Kevin Weekes' liberal use of the word literally. He's like Rob Lowe in Parks & Recreation. Consider this Weekes-ism, following an early third-period assault from the Canucks: Alain Vigneault obviously did some fine work in this intermission because the Canucks have come out on fire literally. Hmm. I can tell you that, if the Canucks came out from their locker room and they were literally on fire, the broadcast would have taken a markedly different turn.

• There were seven slashing penalties in this game. Seven. Seven! This one had more slashes than a complicated URL. The worst of these was a Henrik Sedin two-hander that seemed relatively out of character Captain Hook, typically known for more passive stick infractions. Slashing is more of Mikael Samuelsson's thing. Now, one might argue that, if Sammy's so slashy, how come he wasn't called for a slash in this slashiest of games? Remember that his third period roughing penalty came when he was pulled out of a scrum he started with a slash. Yes, Mikael Samuelsson slashes like Wal-Mart. Know what else has a lot of slashes? This paragraph. Slash slash slash.

• Alex Burrows isn't known for his skating, but it's hard to miss his improvement in this area. It really stood out during a first period penalty kill, where he won a puck battle, then took the puck around his net and blew the zone with possession. Then, after putting a shot on goal, Burrows managed to be the first forward back, in perfect position to intercept a weak pass from Olli Jokinen. Some beautiful strides during this sequence. For a guy who used to look like he was the only player on the ice wearing roller blades, Burrows has come a long way.

• That said, he's still Alex Burrows. Consider a third period altercation with Jarome Iginla where he goaded Iginla into dropping the gloves, only to forget to reciprocate. Whoops. I suspect Burrows' passion for winning turds stems from the fact that he sort of is one.

• It was fabulous to see all six members of the Canucks' defense finally combine to form Mega Dragonzord. They were a little too reliant on stretch passes last night, but the promise of this group is hard to ignore. Any one of them can spring a guy at any time. Another good way to spring a guy? Have a girl walk in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face.

• Congratulations to Christian Ehrhoff on collecting his 50th point of the campaign on the overtime winner. Ehrhoff has had a fabulous season, and now becomes the first Canucks' defenseman in 15 years to reach the 50-point plateau. Henrik Karlsson was upset about the goal, feeling he'd been interfered with. Unfortunately, the refs didn't buy it, maybe because claiming Mason Raymond interfered with you is a little like claiming Jesus drank all the wine.

• Aaron Rome actually didn't look too bad playing wing on the 4th line. He had 3 shots, 4 hits and a takeaway, as well as a few decent scoring chances. In truth, Rome acquitted himself nicely enough that this could potentially be an option in the playoffs. It might be a nice way to ensure that the Canucks don't find themselves, after an injury, playing with five d-men in the late stages of an important game. Sidenote: at one point, I was concerned Rome's strong play might earn him a few extra shifts, somehow managing to give him more minutes than Keith Ballard, even as a fourth-line winger.

• There was a brief scare during the first period, when Ryan Kesler headed to the dressing room with an apparent knee injury. Mind you, you had to know he was coming back. When I was a child, I had a posable MC Hammer doll, and my brother popped off its legs, then reattached them backwards, so Hammer's knee bent up towards his stomach. If that had happened to Kesler's knee, he would still have returned. Rule of thumb: if Kesler doesn't leave the game via medicopter, he'll be back soon.

• This was Cory Schneider's 25th appearance of the season, and by allowing fewer than eight goals, he has officially won a share of the Jennings trophy with Roberto Luongo. Schneider's play this season has been fabulous, but I hope this was his last game as a Canuck. A playoff appearance means something has gone horribly wrong, and a return as Lou's backup next season would be beneath him. One could easily argue Schneider is the best rookie goalie in the NHL. He finishes fifth in the league with a 2.23 goals against average, and his .929 save percentage is good for third. In fact, his performance last night bumped his save percentage one point better than Luongo's, dropping the Canucks' starter to fourth in the category. This parting blow may affect Luongo's outside shot at a Vezina nomination, as the "top three in wins, GAA, and SV%" argument is now dead. Think Luongo regrets lobbying for Schneider to get 25 appearances now?

• And finally, someone threw a salmon onto the ice again. Clearly, no one is listening to me.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Wild, April 7, 2011

Canucks 5 - 0 Wild

After consecutive losses to the Edmonton Oilers pushed the city of Vancouver to the brink of martial law, you had to think a loss to the Minnesota Wild would be the tipping point. Fans, it seemed, were one poor effort away from killing one another for the contents of their refrigerators. Thankfully, the Canucks staved off a full-scale societal collapse by coming out in this one a little more interested in winning, and they were fortunate to meet a Wild team only to happy to help. The result was a shellacking that will likely quell civil unrest until the team loses again, at which point all the ammo and applesauce I bought will prove quite useful. In the meantime, I watched this game:

• The pregame awards ceremony went pretty much as expected, with Daniel Sedin taking home the MVP, Christian Ehrhoff retaining his best defenseman title, Ryan Kesler winning most exciting player, and Jannik Hansen being named the most unsung. The Presidents Trophy presentation was understated, except for that part where Manny Malhotra showed up, and people went nuts. Talk about crowd pop. It was great to see him. In case you were wondering, Henrik Sedin did not touch the President's Trophy, but I get that whole superstition now. Once you realize that it looks like a crystal bidet, I'm sure any motivation to touch it disappears.

• I especially liked Malhotra's Versace protection sunglasses. It was either that, or a diamond-studded eyepatch.
  

• Marc Donnelly is starting to mix things up. The other night he turned the anthem into a duet. Tonight, he did a different run. If he's trying to reinvent himself, he should call Timbaland.

• After facing criticism for a mild scoring lull to close out the season, Ryan Kesler used tonight as an opportunity to answer back with a hat trick. First, he redeemed himself for his near-infamous powerplay whiff in last Oilers game, where he double-clutched on a tap-in at the goal line and wound up blocking his own shot. He and the Sedins tried the exact same play again, this time with a different result. After successfully making amends on that one, Kesler spent the night bringing his wrist shot back to lethality. He scored two beauties on the rush with perfectly placed snapshots, going high glove side on the first and high stick side on the second (above). Kesler claims he was extra motivated because Farhan Lalji pissed him off earlier in the day. If that's the case, I suggest Farhan Lalji conduct all Ryan Kesler interviews for the duration of the playoffs, with every intent of incensing him: some feel you can't carry this team to a cup. Also, that you're a big dummy. How would you respond to this?

• Frankly, if there was any disappointing aspect to tonight's game, it's that Kesler's hat trick was met with alarmingly few tossed hats. Shocking stat: in terms of personal items thrown on the ice, the ratio of hats to salmon was about even. Not cool, you guys.
  

• Kesler's hat trick goal was his 40th of the season. Quoth John Garrett: 40 is an excellent number. I'm assuming he meant in regards to scoring totals, but he might just like the number 40. Maybe he likes how it looks? He's seen it everywhere this anniversary season, maybe this was a subtle plea for help from a man that's been driven mad by the number's constant presence in his life? He could be completely obsessed with it, like Jim Carrey and 23.

• Early adopters to PITB will recall that, before he and I became Scrabble buddies, Tanner Glass's presence on the third line offended me, especially throughout last year's playoffs. It seems the universe has a wicked sense of humour, as Glass appears to be have garnered a promotion in the absence of Raffi Torres. Soon, my worst nightmares will come true. Next thing you know, Byron Ritche will return to man the powerplay.

• Poor Jannik Hansen. First he lost his center to an eye injury, then he lost his other winger to a suspension. He did an admirable job on his lonesome, even setting up Mason Raymond for the game's opening goal with a beautiful cross-ice pass, but his gloved punch to Pierre Marc-Bouchard was a clear sign that he wants to be suspended too, so the line can be reunited in the press box.

• Speaking of suspensions, frankly, Greg Zanon's 1st period elbow to the head of Maxim Lapierre might have warranted one that stretched into the playoffs. Lucky for Zanon, the Wild didn't make the playoffs.

• Both of Mason Raymond's goals came on wrist shots after fancy setups, the first from Jannik Hansen, and the second from Daniel Sedin, but they weren't tap-ins. Raymond put himself in great position to receive both passes, and these are places he might not go while playing the wing. He was also the only faceoff guy to finish over 50% on the night. He appears to be adapting to his new role as third-line center quite well. It makes sense. There's a little less pressure to score, it's harder to get over to the side boards and circle the zone, and there's a little more ice. Mason Raymond really likes extra ice. Whenever he goes to Earl's, he asks the waitress to make sure there's plenty in his drink; otherwise, his soda is much too strong.

• With both Mason Raymond and Ryan Kesler flirting with a hat trick, and everyone trying to make sure Daniel Sedin gets the last touch, I started the appropriate hashtag: #passittoraymondorkeslerbutfirstpassittodanielsohecangetapoint. I had low expectations for it. Then it trended in Vancouver. I'm not sure what to think about this.
  

• Alain Vigneault rolled all four lines, resulting in steady icetime for everyone, save Jeff Tambellini. Tambellini played eight and a half minutes. No other Canuck played less than fourteen. When you can't find icetime for Jeff Tambellini in a blowout in the last home game of the season, it's safe to say you aren't trying. Victor Oreskovich might want to reserve an airport shuttle.

• Last night marked the return of Alex Edler to the lineup. He looked good, albeit a little out of sync. He also seemed determined to regain some lost ground in the hits category. He had a game-high four hits in this game, which, as Jeff Paterson tweeted, should answer some questions going forward. Questions like: who led the game in hits and In what category did Alex Edler lead the game? Also: which game did Alex Edler lead in hits?

• Edler was immediately returned to his initial pairing with Christian Ehrhoff, sending Sami Salo to the bottom pairing with Keith Ballard. This is the match the Canucks have been hoping to make all season, but injuries have prevented Sami and Keith from being together long enough to click. Looks like they finally get together in the end. If this sounds a lot like a romantic comedy, that's because it is. After the game, Sami found out he was the subject of a bet to make him over and get him elected prom queen. Expect a last act poolside dance.

• Speaking of bets, Roberto Luongo picked up his fourth shutout of the season last night, much to his surprise, and he told reporters that, prior to the third period, he and Cory Schneider bet on who would break the goose egg. Schneider picked Miettinen. Luongo picked Edler. Chew on this: what if Edler actually had scored an own goal, but Miettinen had the last touch? SUCH A DISPUTE IS UNSOLVABLE.
  

What Are Your Top Five Moments of Wizardous Sedinerie?

Image from Blue Soup.

In just under two weeks, PITB will be counting down our top 5 moments of Wizardous Sedinerie from the 2010-11 season, just as we did last year. Solemn guarantee: it's gonna be a sweet list. While there isn't a de facto number one this year, that doesn't mean the Sedins have been scoring boring. They've done some mind-blowing stuff this year.

I've managed to pare their ever-expanding highlight reel down to 12 wizardous plays, all of which are embedded after the jump. I'm angling for a top five, and I could use some reader input. If you've got the time (and I know you do, slacker), watch the clips. When you feel you've given each play a fair viewing, give me your five favourites, either in the comments, via tweet, using the hashtag #sedintop5. In two weeks, we'll unveil the official list.

Be warned, however: five minutes watching their highlights and you'll lose the ability to find joy in the simple play. The next time someone dumps the puck in instead of cutting across the blue line and making a drop pass to his identical twin, you'll scream at the television. You'll see an open guy, and wonder why his teammate didn't make the simple no-look, backhand saucer bank pass off the boards his defender was giving him. You'll see your guy getting crosschecked in the back and you'll wonder why he isn't calling for the puck. The Sedins are hockey ecstasy. The Sedins will ruin you.

1. Vs. Avalanche, November 24, 2010 (Daniel Sedin)
   
2. Vs. Lightning, December 11, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
   
3. Vs. Blue Jackets, December 23, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
4. Vs. Oilers, December 12, 2010 (Alex Burrows)
5. Vs. Stars, December 31, 2010 (Henrik Sedin)
6. Vs. Flyers, December 28, 2010 (Daniel Sedin)
7. Vs. Sharks, January 03, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
8. Vs. Oilers, January 07, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
9. Vs. Stars, February 19, 2011 (Henrik Sedin)
10. Vs. Sharks, January 20, 2011 (Henrik Sedin)
11. Vs. Predators, March 29, 2011 (Alex Burrows)
12. Vs. Kings, March 31, 2011 (Daniel Sedin)
    

Edit: the official list has been unveiled. Go HERE to check out which plays fell where.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Kings, March 31, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Kings

Make no mistake: the Presidents' Trophy is a pretty huge deal. Ignore anyone who dismisses it. It matters. Canucks fans have conditioned themselves to say it doesn't--that only playoff success matters--but, if we're being honest with ourselves, that's only because we've never even been close to this accomplishment. We've steeled ourselves against the Presidents' Trophy and, heck, the value of regular season dominance, too, because it's never been within our purview. Now that it is? It feels pretty good. It feels momentous. Is it momentous? I'd say it's momentous. In last night's game, the Canucks won the Presidents' Trophy. I watched this [momentous] game:

• Henrik "Captain Hook" Sedin took two minor penalties in the first period, but they were obviously on purpose. Here's what I think happened: He asked Alain Vigneault for the night off and was denied, so he decided to take the first period off instead. What a diva.

• Daniel Sedin's game-tying goal in the second period came on a pretty drag move and an even prettier wrist shot. That drag move is classic Daniel. He's been pulling it all season, recently scoring a memorable powerplay goal with it versus Minnesota. Until last night, however, he hadn't seen any success with it during odd-man rushes. He couldn't have picked a better time to finally pull it off. Justin Bourne tweeted that Daniel Sedin won the Hart with this goal, but I'd caution him against reading too much into the "MVP!" chant started by the fans. That was clearly meant for Victor Oreskvich.

• Okay, maybe not. But we said last game that Victor Oreskovich may have earned a permanent roster spot. If it wasn't true then, it probably true now. Besides the assist, Oreskovich also had three hits, a blocked shot, and the takeaway that started the two-on-one. That came when he picked off off a telegraphed pass by Drew "Jon Kitna" Doughty, and muscled the puck outside blue line before deferring to Daniel. Probably a wise choice, deferring to Daniel. Had Oreskovich kept the puck, he'd probably be getting death threats today. From Daniel.
  

• The Canucks scored their first five-on-three goal of the season last night, which is almost as big a deal as capturing the Presidents' Trophy. That said, the team seemed more motivated to get Daniel his 100th point simply to score a goal. How can you tell? Daniel was taking slapshots. The unit kept swinging it around for him, and he kept firing it. You'll notice there's only four Canucks in the celebratory hug, too. After Daniel garners the first assist on Kesler's goal, Alex Burrows immediately turns to retrieve the puck for his linemate

• Christian Ehrhoff had a game-high eight shots tonight. One of them went in, too. Ehrhoff capped off an odd-man rush by scoring with .9 seconds to go in the second period. Los Angeles would not register a shot on net in the third, making Ehrhoff's goal the most devastating backbreaker since Bane on Batman.
  

• You heard that right. Down a goal, the Kings couldn't muster a single shot in the final period. Granted, without Anze Kopitar and Justin Williams, their forward corps are about as threatening as Veggie Tales, but give the Canucks credit. This comes on the heels of holding the Nashville Predators to only two shots in Tuesday's third period. I don't think we hear enough about the Canucks' league-best defensive play. They've allowed one goal in five straight games, and a few were just snack goals.

• The reffing tonight was pretty questionable, at times, most notably when Johnny Quick upended Alex Burrows on a scoring chance in front and got away with it. Not since Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas have I seen such blatant tripping.

• That said, the refs did make the right call when Kyle Clifford ran Chris Tanev dangerously into the end boards. The last time the Canucks played the Kings, we saw Alex Ponikarovsky hit Dan Hamhuis similarly, and referee Chris Lee only called a minor penalty. Then, the other night, Alex Burrows hit Vernon Fiddler similarly, and he took a major, which drew complaints, again, about Chris Lee's call in Los Angeles. Chris Lee was the referee tonight as well; he reallly had no choice but to make a stiffer call this time around. Let's be clear, though: Chris Tanev nearly got himself killed. Clifford and Tanev are coming in at full speed, and Tanev's body and skates are turned to the left. At the last second, Tanev turns his skates to the right, but fails to get his body fully turned before Clifford hits him. It's a split-second accident. Clifford meant to hit Tanev hard, but he didn't mean to hit him like that.

• There were two guys sitting directly behind Alain Vigneault in full drag, apparently going by the names "Daniella" and "Henrietta", and wearing bright pink t-shirts that said Hockey Luvin Homo. I wondered if this offended anyone. It offended me: Luvin needs an apostrophe, at least. Anyway, I'm fairly confident they were the Wayans brothers.

• I didn't mind Mason Raymond at center. He looked a little confused at times, but he performed decently in the faceoff circle (3-for-5), and Raffi Torres and Jannik Hansen looked energized and dangerous for the first time since Manny Malhotra went down. It would appear being Maxim Lapierre's wingers is about as disheartening as being Chris Brown's publicist.

• Speaking of Raffi Torres, he registered 3 hits in the game, narrowly missing his apparent goal of 100. Torres played like a man possessed, likely by one to three of Casper's brothers. Be it an opponent, the referee, or even just a patch of wide open space, he was hitting everything. He was like a human mallet in a lifesize game of Whack-a-Mole.

• And finally, I realize, now, that playing the theme for the West Wing, postgame, was a nice hat-tip to winning the Presidents' Trophy, but the music was just a tad too inspirational for my tastes. You'd have though the whole team finally arrived at the Great Valley. Everyone: Tina Turner released "Simply the Best" for a reason.
  

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Predators, March 29, 2011

Canucks 3 - 1 Predators

The two of us have differing views on goaltender's duels. Keep in mind: Harrison enjoys basketball; Skeeter enjoys soccer. Our opinions regarding tight-checking, low-scoring affairs echo these tastes. This is also why, during games, Skeeter often screams more slide tackles! and Harrison often screams more black people! But we digress. [We] watched this game:

• With tonight's victory, the Canucks improved their record against the Predators to two wins and two losses, sewing up the Western Conference in the process. With five games yet to play, this leaves plenty of time to finish up other, neglected sewing projects. Henrik promised Daniel that he would sew Anna a new pair of booties. Mikael Samuelsson's lucky underwear needs patching. Alex Burrows is making a snood.

• It's official. Aaron Rome has his first goal as a Canuck (above), which could either be used as evidence that he doesn't deserve the icetime he's been getting, or maybe as an explanation for why he's been getting it: Alain Vigneault's been determined to get him that goal all season. Apart from Rome, nobody was more excited to see him score than Keith Ballard, whose minutes will finally skyrocket to seventeen.

• It's been awhile since Alex Burrows took it upon himself to win da turd. Tonight, he scored two goals in the final frame, doing just that. Like Seth Rogen in Knocked Up, Burrows only has one move. That's the umpteenth time he's gone backhand on the breakaway. Burrows is predictable, yes, but goalies can't afford to predict and shade left. He sucks at skating, so they have to respect the possibility that he might fall down and have the puck roll to the opposite post.

• The game-tying goal--Burrows' first goal of the night--comes on some positively Wizardous Sedinerie. For the unobservant, this is a no-look bank pass to a one-timed no-look backhand saucer pass to a mid-air one-timer. Nothing but net. This is Bird/Jordan stuff; Burrows wins the Big Mac. Mind you, in Örnsköldsvik, they learn this in peewee.

• Like Mason Raymond and Ryan Kesler, Alex Burrows and Shane O'Brien are clearly besties. In a previous version of the plan, O'Brien and Burrows moved to London together and shared a flat. Instead, the plan changed, and they were separated by forces beyond their control. They spent the whole night fighting hat-wearing agents to retake control of their own destiny. (This is the movie we're referencing. Yeah, we don't recommend it.)

• To explain: Burrows and O'Brien engaged multiple times in post-whistle scrums. The most entertaining moment was the time they were separated by both linesmen, and still waved at each other, smiling and chirping like the birds that circle Uncle Remus in Song of the South, the most racist Disney movie ever. Having seen Pocahontas and Aladdin, that's saying a lot.

• In the first period, the Sportsnet crew showed a graphic with pictures of Alain Vigneault and Barry Trotz, their impressive win/loss records, and the caption, "Hottest in the NHL". That is not a caption that goes above pictures of those two guys, for what should be obvious reasons.

• Roberto Luongo was really good, huh? He's been doing that lately. Despite having to make only 16 saves, Luongo earned third star honours, because a lot of them were tough saves, like Alice Cooper or Brian "Head" Welch. Of note: Head Joins the Body is the greatest headline ever.

• 5 of Nashville's 17 shots came from Jordin Tootoo. So really, they took 12 shots. Ha, just kidding, Tootoo's not too, too bad. Zing. Anyway, Daniel wants everyone to know he's ashamed of this bullet point.

• Despite looking absolutely dominant at several stages of the game, Ryan Kesler and Mason Raymond were the only minus players on the Canucks. The line of Kesler, Raymond, and Chris Higgins gave the Nashville defenders fits with their speed, board play, and rugged manliness, but couldn't generate a goal. They did, however, combine for 13 shots. They took more shots than Roy "Speedy" Harper.

• Frankly, a lot of their excellent work died on the stick of Aaron Rome, who can only hit the net when shooting from the opposite end of the ice, but he scored a goal tonight, so we'll save our grumbling for another night.

• Shocking stat of the night: Ryan Suter and Shea Weber both finished the game minus-3. Not so shocking stat: they both played over twenty-seven minutes. I guess when you're on the ice all night, there's a large chance you'll be on the ice for the opponent's goals.

• Upon seeing Sami Salo on the powerplay, Harrison commented that the Canucks weren't really missing Mikael Samuelsson. Then Victor Oreskovich jumped the boards with the Sedins.

• In truth, Oreskovich has been playing solid hockey since his call-up, and his turn on the first line while Alex Burrows rested, post penalty-kill, was a nice reward. While he only finished with 9:55 of icetime, that's almost three minutes more than Jeff Tambellini. When Tanner Glass returns, Oreskovich may be pleased to learn that he's earned a playoff roster spot. Pleased, that is, unless he thinks top line duty will be a regular occurrence.

• And finally, we've already mentioned Aaron Rome's goal, but we left out the best part: watch Henrik Sedin show true leadership by stretching out his arms to ensure nobody derails Rome's 200-footer. Granted, there's no one around him, but Kevin Love would be proud of this boxout. It's been said that the Canucks have nothing left to play for, but look how excited everyone is when this puck goes in. Other motivations aside, this team simply enjoys playing together.

20 Reasons Daniel Sedin Is Bad at Penalty Shots

"I suck at this."

With Daniel Sedin's failed penalty shot attempt Friday, the NHL scoring leader is now 0-for-4 in his career on penalty shots, and it's never really been close. He's bad at it. He's so bad at it that Alain Vigneault used this most recent non-goal as an example of why Daniel never gets a chance in the shootout. It's a strange anomaly, really, especially considering that Daniel Sedin is a pretty fabulous scorer. Furthermore, he's in possession of one of the NHL's most accurate shots. You'd think he'd be money in these situations, but it would seem penalty shots and shootouts just aren't particularly suited for his game. Here are 20 possible explanations:

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Red Wings, March 23, 2011

Canucks 2 - 1 Red Wings

Anyone hoping for another game of the year candidate between the two best teams in the Western Conference was likely a little let down by last night's affair, which saw both teams play hard--just not too hard. With only ten games to go in the regular season, the Canucks and the Red Wings have begun looking forward to the playoffs, which means approaching these final matches cautiously and ensuring everyone is healthy and ready for the next set of games that will matter. Unsurprisingly, then, this game was decided by who played and who didn't, as Pavel Datsyuk's absence rendered Detroit notably less dangerous, and Daniel Sedin's presence, after rushing back to join the team for reasons of his own, made the difference. Dank scored both Vancouver goals. And, just as Daniel was determined to play in this game, I was equally determined to watch it. The good news is that we both succeeded. I watched this game:

• How can you tell the outcome of this game was secondary to injury avoidance while playing it? The piddly number of blocked shots. Detroit and Vancouver had a measly 13 between them. The Canucks had four. Two of those were attributed to Alex Bolduc, which makes a lot of sense. Bolduc is likely the only player in the Canucks lineup with any motivation to block shots. He'll be lucky if he gets many more chances to prove be should be part of the playoff roster; he's got no choice but to tempt fate and try to impress. Meanwhile, the Red Wings had nine blocked shots, but four of them were from Niklas Kronwall, who apparently didn't get the memo. This might be the only time of the year when coaches are begging players not to sacrifice their bodies, and guys are diving away from shots like synchronized swimmers.

• Speaking of Alex Bolduc, do you think he should send Gord Miller a box of chocolates with a captioned photo of himself at the bottom? For the entirety of the night, Miller kept calling him Andre. That is incorrect. "Alex" is Bolduc's first name. "Andre" is a precocious baby sea lion.

• Roberto Luongo was fantastic, as he has been for much of the season. After a slow start to the year, likely attributed to the adjustments called for by new goalie coach Rollie Melanson, Funny Bob has been fairly consistent all year. Courtesy Jason Botchford: he hasn't been pulled once in 2011, and he's let in 4 goals only one time. Luongo is now first in the NHL in wins, third in SV%, fourth in GAA, and leading the Canucks towards a first ever Jennings trophy. Put succinctly: he's good. In last night's affair, he made 39 saves, (several of the category amazeballs) and he kept the Canucks in the game during a one-sided first period and a few intense third-period assaults. He appears to be on his game heading into the playoffs, and this can only be a good thing, unless it turns out his game is shuffleboard.

• Don't get me started on his lack of shutouts. It should be obvious to everyone that Luongo always purposefully lets in one, so the team won't be too hungry next time. It's called The Snack Goal Principle.

• You'd have thought Daniel Sedin would be jet-lagged or something, but the in-flight movie was The Last Airbender, so he got a lot of sleep. One day after his wife gave birth to a new baby girl, Daniel scored both the opening goal and the game-winner, proving that witnessing the miracle of life makes you a better hockey player. Someone send Toronto a DVD of Knocked Up. With the two points, Daniel pushed his lead over Steven Stamkos to nine, impressed the Eastern Hart voters who only watch games in their time zone, and, more importantly, maintained the seven-point gap between he and that gloryhog Henrik. Daniel's first goal, banked off the skate of Niklas Lidstrom (akin to dunking on Lebron James), was the 12th time this season he's potted the game's first goal. No wonder he has more kids than his brother; he initiates more scoring.

• The best goal of the game was the Canucks' powerplay game-winner (above). Take some time to watch what all five members do. Salo and Ehrhoff pass the puck back and forth, trying to open up lanes for a point shot. They both get a clear shot, but neither gets through. When the Wings look to get the puck out, Salo pinches, Ehrhoff takes off to the red line to cover him. Kris Draper gets to the puck, he sees Salo coming. Worse, Henrik has already gotten into his clearing lane, so he turns back, then makes a poor clearing attempt, which Henrik recovers anyway. While all of is going on, Ryan Kesler is causing absolute havoc in front. First, he topples over Jimmy Howard, causing Howard to lose his stick. No call, because Howard's way out of his crease and he initiates the contact by diving for the puck. Then, Kesler takes Brad Stuart's legs out with a subtle drive-by trip. No call again, because conspiracies against the Canucks are topped only by conspiracies against the Red Wings. Niklas Kronwall tries to shade over and take away a pass to Kesler, but this opens up a stupid amount of room for Henrik and Daniel, who just pound away with the same cross-ice pass and one-timer until there's simply too much chaos to overcome, and the puck goes in. Color me impressed. And Badd.

• I wonder if there was ever a plan to ease Kevin Bieksa back into the lineup, because if there was, someone screwed up bigtime. Juice played the most minutes of any Canuck at 23:19, immediately returning to his top pairing with Dan Hamhuis. Bieksa played excellent, although he looked a little shaky on his skates, at times, including one icing call where Valteri Filppula gave him a late nudge and he fell into the boards. The best part of that incident was when the two linesman skated in to separate the men, and Bieksa, while standing right between them, slashed Filppula in the calf. Are you surprised? This is a guy who punched out a teammate during his first training camp. Kevin "Stagger Lee" Bieksa would shoot a man in a crowded saloon in a dispute over a hat. He's so badass.

• Bieksa did get a reprieve from the night's toughest assignment, however, as Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis took Bieksa's regular job of battling with Tomas Holmstrom in front. He did an admirable job, too, twice alleviating Detroit zone pressure by taking Holmstrom off the ice with a penalty. It was nice of Hamhuis to give Bieksa the night off; he took a beating for him, much like the time he recovered that old lady's purse from that unruly street gang, or the time he saved that young woman from those pipe wrench-wielding thugs.

• Victor Oreskovich had a good game, highlighted by one stellar 2nd period shift during which he set up three quality scoring chances from behind the net. First he muscled out in front for two shots. Then he made a beautiful centring pass. Then when the puck came back to him, he made a tape-to-tape pass to the point. This is likely the only time Oreskovich will ever receive this adjective, but it was positively Malkinesque. Nothing came of it, but it was nice to see flashes of NHL hands from the big man. That said, because they were under gloves, we don't know that they were actually his hands. They could have been the devil's hands. I've seen this before. Has he suddenly improved at playing the holophonor?

• Ryan Kesler was the big faceoff winner, going 13-for-18 in the circle, including 11-for-13 in the offensive zone. Curiously, however, he didn't take a single draw in the neutral zone. Apparently Kesler, like sparkling wine, is only for special occasions. Of the 12 faceoffs between the blue lines, Henrik took six, and Lapierre and Bolduc took three apiece.

• Raffi Torres had three hits, but you'd think he was out for the season too. I feel like I haven't seen him since Malhotra went down. He clearly drew a lot of confidence from playing with Manny, and now he's going to have to dig deep and discover it was inside him all along, or something. But Manny Malhotra died over thirty years ago...

• With the win over Detroit, the Canucks only need to win three of their final eight to win the Western Conference. It seems a foregone conclusion at this point, especially since they still haven't dropped two consecutive regulation games since November, and even alternating wins and losses to keep this trend alive means they'll win four. May as well start stitching that banner.

Daniel Sedin One-Ups His Brother, Has Another Child

"I'm going to crush you." "Not if I crush you first."

As if it wasn't already perfectly clear that Daniel Sedin is using rage and envy over Henrik's career year last season to propel himself to an Art Ross and Hart trophy this season, we got further proof, Tuesday, when Daniel's wife gave birth to their third child.

That's one more child than sired by the Henrik Sedins, which means Daniel's competitive rage is so all-consuming, he's committed himself to outscoring Henrik both on and off the ice. This is now a literal blood feud.

And, if it weren't already apparent that Daniel is dead set on matching his brother's total Harts and Art Rosses solely out of spite, he'll be back in the lineup tonight when the Canucks face the Red Wings. Seriously, he shook his daughter's hand, kissed his wife goodbye, and caught the red-eye to Michigan. Considering Detroit and Vancouver are resting guys on a whim (Mikael Samuelsson's out with "the sniffles", and Pavel Datsyuk's missing the game with "ennui"), you've got to believe Daniel is determined to play. Why might that be?

Well, do you remember what happened last year when Daniel missed a few games?

During those five weeks, Henrik turned into Supergretzky, tallying 16 hat tricks and 2900 points. By the time Daniel returned, a statue of Henrik was under construction outside GM Place and Robson Street had been renamed Henrik & Only Henrik Boulevard. Daniel was like, "I'm back, everyone!" And everyone was like, "Oh hi, Henrik. I thought you went home for the day."

Clearly, Daniel Sedin is now petrified to let his brother play a game without him, and it's an understandable anxiety. When he misses time, people forget he exists and, after all the work he's put in to match Henrik's accomplishments this year, that would be a devastating blow. He's got a seven-point lead on Henrik in the scoring race, likely insurmountable because they tend to share the ice. But, if Daniel lets up for even a second, Henrik is free to gain ground, just like when when he briefly turned around in the womb, and Henrik darted past him towards the light.

You know Henrik's trying to put a stop to this revenge strategy. Remember that empty-netter from his own side of center the other night? That's out of character for Henrik--unless he's trying to gain ground in the scoring race. That goal was unassisted, except by sibling rivalry.

Daniel has to play tonight to protect everything he's worked for all season. If it slips away from him now, well, it would kill him. Not literally, of course. Daniel couldn't bring himself to do that, especially considering how many points his brother would score without him.

The Dreaded Two-Goal Lead: Rick Rypien Has a Beard Now

"I've never been more excited about hockey, now that I have this beard."

Canucks news comes fast and furious, and sometimes we find ourselves playing catchup. Thankfully, the Dreaded Two Goal Lead--often called "the worst lead in hockey"--is super easy to come back from. Everybody knows it's a guaranteed death sentence for those that hold it. Well, much like an ice hockey team coming from two goals down, PITB will now effortlessly catch up.

• Rick Rypien Returns From Personal Leave of Absence With a Beard

Rick Rypien has resurfaced after a lengthy leave of absence, and he appears to have received some counseling from Conan O'Brien. How else to explain his wicked new beard? If there's one lesson that Conan's taught us, it's that the best way to return is with a big patch of scruff. Last Tuesday, Rypien spoke to the media for the first time in months, saying he's "never been more excited about hockey." The Canucks announced that Ryp has joined the Moose on a conditioning assignment and may be granted special permission, under the circumstances, to stay in the AHL longer than the usual two weeks. Unless he really impresses, expect him to remain in Winnipeg for the rest of the season. For fans outside of Manitoba, you can probably follow Rypien's every shift at hockeyfights.com.

Daniel Sedin Just Got Keslurked

Just so we're abreast of all developments, here's Daniel Sedin falling victim to the Keslurk, as Ryan Kesler pops up over his right shoulder at about the 30-second mark. This is a primo Keslurk, although Kesler appears at such an unnatural angle you'd think Daniel (wizard that he is) actually conjured him up. This might not be Ryan Kesler at all, but rather, a daemon with insidious, chameleonic properties.

You've gotta give credit to a guy so dedicated to creating his own meme, although I do wish he'd consulted us before he dubbed it "Interview Bombing." That phrase has now become Kesler Bombing, and it's what half of Twitter is calling it now, including @GutsMcTavish24, the Saturninus to our Bassianus. The other half is correctly calling it Keslurking. It's quite nearly a Red state/Blue state thing, but seriously, who do you trust to name your memes? Ryan Kesler, hockey player and mediocre Twitterer, or Pass it to freaking Bulis? This is what we do, Kes. Why you frontin' on us, is that necessary?

That said, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and a Keslurk by any other name would continue to bring the chuckles. Never stop, Ryan Kesler.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Ducks, March 6, 2011

Canucks 3 - 0 Ducks

After the highly contentious atmosphere in the Staples Center last night, the Honda Center was downright pleasant. It's not just that the Anaheim fans are generally more congenial (one woman gave us free hot dogs), but the building itself is a little nicer, a little more organic. Whereas the Staples Center is cold, metallic, and looming, provoking aggression and ill will, the pastel paint job and burnt sienna seating of the Honda Center provoke congeniality, oneness with humanity and spiritual contentment. The Ducks fans were downright nice, although it might have been that they were defeated from the outset. They were outnumbered by Canuck fans from the moment the doors opened, and their teams found themselves trailing less than a minute in, after Manny Malhotra scored on Vancouver's first shot. It was difficult for the Anaheim fans to muster much enthusiasm, especially since their attempts were quickly drowned out by the excitable Canucks contingent, like whom and with whom, [we] watched this game.

• Cory Schneider recorded his first NHL shutout tonight, getting his body in front of all 26 shots as though he didn't want to let in any goals. It was weird. He didn't have to be overly acrobatic in these saves, but Schneider never is. He's positionally sound, like a shooter tutor, but without all the holes. According to Sportsnet, he also scored all three Canucks goals, recording his first career hat trick (take that, Luongo!) Like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, he played every role tonight. Unlike Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, it was a treat to watch him.

• It was less of a treat to watch Dan Ellis, who had many problems tonight. One of which was the first shot of the game, later extrapolated into the first shot of periods. Only in the third did he manage to stave off this problem, pushing it to the second shot. Ellis wasn't good tonight, but it may not have been his fault. It may not have been Ellis. The in-arena announcer introduced him as Dan Sexton. Was it Sexton? If so, that might explain why he sucked at playing goal.

• It's a shame Ellis wasn't on top of his game, as he only had to face 16 Canuck shots. Ryan Getzlaf, alone, had 11. The Canucks, as a whole, barely outshot Ryan Getzlaf. But don't rush to claim Vancouver was outplayed. After scoring so quickly in the first and second periods, they clearly saw no need to push the play.

• The 1/2 Pound Hot Dog sold at the Honda Center is obscenely large. It's almost as obscene, porkwise, as Antiochus Epiphanes' decision to sacrifice a pig on the altar of the temple in Jerusalem. Way uncool, Antiochus. Totally not rad.

• You might think we at PITB could run out of ways and reasons to praise Jannik "Baby Dragon" Hansen, but he continues to find new ways to amaze. On Saturday, he was the game-winning goal scorer, but tonight, he temporarily transformed into a playmaking wunderkind akin to Bertolt Brecht. Seriously, he was so Brechtian he broke the fourth wall. And on the second goal, it was impossible to miss his use of Verfremdungseffekt.

• Maybe the proximity to Hollywood Boulevard has inspired the third line to become star producers. They're the Weinsteins of the Canucks right now, and it shouldn't surprise. When this line originally broke out back in early November, it was during a mild scoring slump for the rest of the team. Unsurprisingly, they've again become the most consistent scorers during a dry spell for their more offensively inclined compatriots. This has been a longer spell, but it's merely meant a longer string of great play from Malhotra, Torres and Hansen. They've got 10 goals in their last eleven games, and they're doing it a number of different ways. Tonight, they scored one goal on the rush, and one goal on the forecheck.

• Meanwhile, Mason Raymond can't catch a break, save the literal way. You'll recall, back in December, when he scored a hat trick against Calgary and appeared to be finding his game, only to suffer a broken thumb and miss a month. Now, as he appeared to be re-finding his game, he injured his shoulder in an open-ice collision with a Duck player. He went straight to the dressing room, returning to test the shoulder for one shift, but then it was back to the dressing room. Word is he'll be re-evaluated Monday. Here's hoping the doctors declare him awesome and give him a sucker and a balloon.

• Rumour has it Keith Ballard has been playing injured, which might explain why Aaron Rome has been getting more icetime than him despite being objectively Aaron Rome. That said, Rome had more icetime tonight than every Canuck but Dan Hamhuis. Maybe everyone has groin injuries? It was probably the trip to Knott's Berry Farm. That roller coaster really jerks you around. Granted, Rome wasn't terrible tonight, but he also wasn't Christian Ehrhoff or Sami Salo. In short: like the Jews might have said two thousand years ago, I'm a little tired of Rome.

• The Ducks were really after Dan "Community Man" Hamhuis tonight. They may have been upset that his overt community work was upstaging CHOC night. He came out for the warmup skate with a fanny pack full of epi pens.

• I suspect the Ducks were actually trying to provoke Tanner Glass into a scrap, especially once he rebuffed George Parros' attempt to start one after the Canucks went up by two. We've seen, in the past, that when one team wants to fight and the other doesn't, the best method to force their hand is headhunting their top guys. Seeing as Hamhuis was almost always on the ice (23:55) and had just recently returned from a concussion (sustained against this very team), he was a provocative target. Anaheim charged him often, but thankfully, the Canucks stayed zen and, like Ferdinand the Bull, refused to fight.

• Speaking of Parros and Glass, it was interesting to see the two scrappers chat together before the game. We imagine the conversation went something like this: Hey, how are you? Pretty good. Want to fight later? Maybe. Isn't it great being an Ivy leaguer? Yeah, totally. Well, see you later.

• After a string of 16 unsuccessful man advantages, Daniel Sedin finally broke the slump by scoring a power play goal. How did he do it? Well, he turned Andreas Lilja into a Sedin and executed a perfect slap pass. I always suspected the Sedins were pod people.

• In an ironic twist, Maxim Lapierre was the featured player in the Anaheim Ducks' digest for this game. As an Anaheim Duck. Yikes. They should update their content.

• After the game, we met Matt and Savanna, a couple of local Bulies who had taken in the game. It was neat. As we walked to our car, they spotted Harrison's Tanner Glass shirt and shouted "Pass it to Bulis!" What followed was about a half hour of kindly chatting. They are solid people, which is more than I can say for the people of Futurama's planet Trisol. They are made of water.

• And finally, tonight marked our first meeting with mysterious third contributor Qris Johnson. He was a quality dude. He'll be taking over the next two IWTGs as we make the long trek from LA to Phoenix, then from Phoenix to San Jose. Be nice to him.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs. Stars, February 19, 2011

Canucks 5 - 2 Stars

I ask you: what is the difference between Skeeter and the Dallas Stars? Well, Skeeter was at tonight's game. It's a good thing the tickets were a gift, because otherwise he'd be demanding a refund on the grounds that he paid to watch two teams play hockey and only one showed up. I'm kidding, of course. Skeeter was definitely spoiled tonight, as the Canucks ran Dallas out of the building to sweep the season series, potting five lovely goals (a couple of them what some might call wizardous sedinerie) in the process. Suffice it to say, I'm very jealous, as this was definitely one to see live. And, while Skeeter attended, I merely watched this game:

• The Canucks still have not suffered two consecutive regulation losses since mid-November. Give them credit for bouncing back like Maggie Simpson covered in springs, led by the Sedins. After the loss to the Predators, some of the Vancouver media guys gently called them out, but the Twins were definitely not gentle in their response. The top line busted out in a big way tonight, picking up eight points, collectively, while scoring three goals: the opener, the game-winner, and the back-breaking insurance goal (above). What a beautiful goal the last one is, by the way. Of note: it adheres to the previously-defined Third Law of Sedinery, which effectively says that the Sedins always make one more pass than is customary.

• Andrew Raycroft hadn't made a save in a start since January 21, and you know the Canucks talked about getting to him early. Daniel Sedin's goal to open the scoring was exactly the sort of shot the Sedins never make: from a bad angle, simply hoping for some puck luck. Typically, Daniel would have cut back to the boards and tried to set up something prettier, but considering the possibility of a rusty netminder, he stuck to the game plan, and sure enough, it went in. I'm sure it was humiliating for Daniel, a bonafide wizard, to attempt something so ordinary, just like it was humiliating for Gandalf the Grey to be imprisoned by Saruman atop Orthanc, the black tower of Isengard.

• Kevin Weekes had a rough game tonight, stating the obvious a bit too much for my liking. His shining moment: "[Karlas] Skrastins plays a defensive game." Yes, defencemen will do that.

• Proof that Daniel "Out For Blood" Sedin was everywhere tonight: he somehow managed to get up to the broadcast booth immediately after the game and pick the three stars. How else to explain Ryan Kesler (0 points) getting third star honours over Henrik Sedin (1 goal, 2 assists, infinite wizardousness)? But seriously, doesn't the colour guy usually pick the three stars? Because if so, this is more tangible proof Kevin Weekes needs a new assignment.

• Raffi Torres had an inspired game tonight, breaking out of his 23-game goalless streak to score twice (here and here). With a little luck, he might have had one or two more, even, buzzing all night and registering a game-high 5 shots. He also threw his weight around, collecting 3 solid hits and getting into a fight with Brendan Morrow. It was a stupid fight for Morrow. He's the captain, the emotional leader, and the top scoring threat on the Dallas Stars; Torres is the guy that serves Vancouver's bench minors. Something tells me the Stars suffered more for the next five minutes than the Canucks. We've pointed out before that Morrow's leadership skills leave a bit to be desired, in our opinion. I'd like to enter "poor fight selection" into evidence.

• Evan Oberg was much-improved tonight. He made some good outlet passes, generated a few promising rushes, and even doled out two hits. He's been inconsistent in Manitoba, but if he returns to the Moose and plays like he did tonight, he'll make a lot of friends. I wonder if being thrown into the fire will wind up being good for him.

• Yann Sauve has really impressed me. His desperate play to poke the puck out to the neutral zone and spring the Sedins on that 3-on-1 was fantastic. His strength along the boards has been really unexpected. Chris Tanev, who played 19:57 tonight, has earned praise for having the look of an NHLer, but Sauve might deserve some appreciation as well. This song by Andrew Bird is a good start, although Bird spelled his name wrong.

• Mason Raymond has apparently decided that nothing is better than a wrap-around. Just wait until he becomes a father; he'll love swaddling.

• Raymond's linemates have also apparently decided to stop passing to him on the rush. Maybe you noticed this: at one point, Mikael Samuelsson and Raymond got in behind the defense, and rather than make a pass would have sent Raymond in alone, Samuelsson took a low percentage slapshot from just inside the blue line. It seemed like a silly decision, but what else was he going to do? Pass it to Raymond> I'm sure he pictured Raymond receiving the pass in front, then taking the puck wide around the boards for some reason before trying a wrap-around. So hedecided to keep it.

• Great defensive effort by the Canucks tonight, as they did fantastic job of lightening Roberto Luongo's workload. The Stars only managed to get 24 shots on Funny Bob, which is especially impressive considering they directed 55 at the net. 16 were blocked, and 15 went wide. 11 Canucks registered a blocked shot, Chris Tanev leading the way with 3. The team-wide defensive effort was also on display in the hits department, where the Canucks tallied 28, with 14 different guys getting at least one and 10 guys getting 2 or more. Conversely, Dallas had 21, less than half the hits they registered the last time these two teams met. By the game's end, the Canucks appeared to have completely demoralized the Stars. It was like the paddling scene in Dazed & Confused.

• All kidding aside, I feel bad for the Stars. They simply don't match up well with the Canucks. The Canucks have similar problems with the Anaheim Ducks.

• Brendan Morrow basically confirmed this, too. Here he is, shaking his head while discussing the Sedins (postgame via Jeff Paterson): "You know what they're going to do and you still can't do anything about it." Which makes the Sedins hockey's version of The Strangers, from Knowing. It also makes Brendan Morrow hockey's Nicolas Cage, which is fitting, because they're both ridiculous.

• And finally, courtesy of Scott Rintoul: all five Canuck goals tonight were netted by gingers. It was clearly a night for redheads. Rick Astley could have scored.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Blues, February 14, 2011

Canucks 2 - 3 Blues

There are many possible explanations for the wave of mutilation that has befallen our defense corps, and they all involve the unspeakable. This ain't no worldly happening, y'all. This is a straight up X-file. Here are some theories: Sami Salo's lifelong injury demon is the most powerful Hellspawn since Dakota Fanning; Dave Nonis is a voodoo champion (Cam Cole's expert theory), Rick Bowness is suffering the ill effects of a gypsy curse; while watching video on hip checking technique, skills coach Glenn Carnegie accidentally played the team a haunted video tape; Kevin Bieksa had a premonition and recently prevented the entire Canucks' defense group from boarding a plane that crashes, and now death has a list; or maybe, the hockey gods are trying to humble us. Guys, I have to know. Not so much out of concern for the Canucks, mind you, but because nobody knows what sort of evil we're dealing with here, and therefore, nobody knows how transferable this curse actually is. Am I next? After all, I watched this game:

• Forced humility by way of the hockey gods seems a likely explanation. Last night's loss to the St. Louis Blues was exactly the sort of loss that might have sent Canuck nation into a tizzy in previous years. The Canucks were sorely outhit, outshot, and outplayed, and a severe puck misplay by Roberto Luongo wound up being the difference-maker. Normally, this would be time to trot out the usual gripes about team toughness and overrated Italians. But, when it's your goaltender's first regulation loss in twenty games, and when your team remains a trillion points ahead of the rest of the Conference, it's hard not to shrug at the occasional whoopsie. I mean, the Canucks are 1-2 in their last three. Is that reason enough for panic? No, not really, all things considered, but such rationality flies in the face of regular Vancouver fan protocol. It's possible that the hockey gods are attempting to exacerbate each loss by tacking on a long-term injury to a defenceman, simply so that we will treat the defeat with our usual austerity. This is all our fault. Canuck fans: for all our sakes, please panic like you used to.

• If you're not sure what I'm on about with all this, let's catch you up to speed: in the second period of last night's game, Andrew Alberts broke his freaking wrist. He joins an injury list that includes: everyone ever. Everybody hurts.

• Unfortunately, the injuries on the back end are beginning to show. Give Chris Tanev credit for going eleven NHL games before people realized he had only played eleven games in the NHL.
  

• One of the best things about all these injuries has been the certain ensuing article about how it opens up cap space. That's like saying the accidental death of a plane crash survivor means more food for the remaining stranded, now forced to eat him.
  

• Roberto Luongo deserves a ton of credit for his remarkable streak, bookended, strangely enough, by losses to the St. Louis Blues. Don't act so surprised: compared to battling depression, it's easy to overcome wild animal attacks and natural disasters. Sometimes there's simply no cure for the blues.

• It's a shame it had to end the way it did, though. I was just going to write an article about how Luongo's puck-handling skills had improved. Suffice it to say, such an article is no longer relevant, as Luongo picked up an assist on Alex Steen's goal when he made a perfect feed to Steen while concurrently vacating the net. That's the opposite of what you're supposed to do. That gaffe aside, however, Luongo was sensational last night, making 31 saves--several of the phylum "Hoo boy, wacky!"--to keep things close, including one toe save that prompted a John Garrett swoon over Luongo's freakishly long legs.

• It's also a shame that the Canucks' loss and injury party overshadowed the kiss from a rose that was a rare goal by the third line (above). After some impressive sustained offensive zone pressure by the reunited trio of Hansen, Malhotra, and Torres, Jannik Hansen was able to shock the world by putting in a rebound. Several people tweeted "Good shift by Torres." the rarest sentence in the English language, rarer even, than the 1287-word sentence in William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom! Torres didn't look too bad last night. Here's hoping he's beginning to trend upwards.
  

• I remain unconvinced the Canucks can't keep both Bieksa and Ehrhoff somehow, but if you're wondering which of the two should be kept, consider that Ehrhoff has looked a little shaky without Edler, while Bieksa, even without Hamhuis, remains the best breakup artist since Dashboard Confessional. On one rush, Bieksa hurried back to turn a 2-on-1 into a 2-on-2, then somehow put himself in perfect position to break up a saucer pass to the trailer. It was sort of amazing. Anyway, Christian Ehrhoff still finished as the high-minute man, logging an obscene 29:16, but Bieksa probably would have eclipsed thirty, had he not spent four minutes in the penalty box.

• Speaking of the penalty box, I didn't particularly care for the reffing in last night's game. They called some stuff they shouldn't have (Kevin Bieksa's slash) and they missed a bunch of blatant calls (like a handful of holds on the Sedins, or Samuelsson's dangerous crosscheck). That's not why the Canucks lost, though, so we'll move on.

• The Canucks' first goal was yet another instance where one Sedin picked up a point while the other didn't. This has happened a lot this season. Daniel remains five points up on his brother, which is just strange to me. Is this evidence of a rift? I say yes. We all know Daniel Sedin is out for blood and often imagines strangling his brother to death. Rumour has it, every night, in the Sedins' shared dreamspace, Daniel tries to use inception to convince Henrik he should retire, and Henrik is sick of it.

• Manny Malhotra won most of his faceoffs again, going 12-for-16. Of note: he went 9-for-12 in the defensive zone, 3-for-4 in the neutral zone, and 0-for-0 in the offensive zone. Again, that's 16 faceoffs, none inside the opponent's blue line. I hate to say Skeeter was right (I really do), so I won't. But let it remain implied. Malhotra spends less time in the offensive zone than the Jonas Brothers.
  

• The game-tying goal that was waved off in the dying seconds of the game was probably right not to count. While Kevin Bieksa's ability to move an entire pile of adult men with one superman punch is impressive, it seems kind of against the rules. But if Jannik Hansen ever needs him to punch Team Rocket into space, it's good to know it'll be a piece of cake for him.

• And finally: Victor Oreskovich needs to finish the night with more than one hit, especially on a night when the Blues outhit the Canucks by a margin of 2-to-1.

I Watched This Game: Canucks at Coyotes, February 2, 2011

Canucks 6 - 0 Coyotes

As a Canucks fan, it is thoroughly disorienting to cheer for the best team in the league. Cheering for the Canucks and cheering for the #1 team in the NHL is like serving both God and Mammon. It creates a kind of cognitive dissonance. Take tonight for example: the Western Conference is extremely tight. A mere 5 points separate 4th place Nashville from 12th place Calgary. In this atmosphere, a 6-0 shellacking of a team in playoff contention would be greeted by giddiness and glorifying of various hockey gods for bestowing such good fortune upon the Canucks. Instead, the Canucks are so far ahead of the pack (a whopping 7 points up on 2nd place Detroit), that this solid victory is treated with placidity and calm: the Canucks won. I was entertained. I am pleased. I watched this game.

• Given the plethora of goals scored by the Canucks tonight, it seems fitting to, perhaps, mention them one by one so that we may revel in them. But first I shall point out an astonishing fact: the Canucks scored 6 goals tonight. Henrik Sedin had zero points. Daniel Sedin had 1 assist and now has 5 points more than his brother. Also an astonishing fact: the regal horned lizard shoots blood out of its eyes to defend itself from, incidentally, coyotes. Is this the blood that Daniel Sedin is out for?

• Alex Burrows scored the opening goal of the game, giving him a 4-game goal-scoring streak. Just like his goal last game against the Stars, this adequately demonstrated the Fourth Law of Sedinery: if the opposing team has a chance to clear the puck out of the defensive zone and instead gives the puck away to the Sedins, a Canuck goal is a foregone conclusion. It's a classic Burrows maneuver: head to the front of the net, get as close as humanly possible to the goalie, and look for the tip. The distance between his buttocks and Byzgalov's chest was approximately the width of a hadron.

• The second goal was scored by Jannik Hansen off a Lee Sweatt-created rebound. Sweatt looked significantly more comfortable on the ice tonight, getting good body position in puck battles and blocking 4 shots. His jump up into the rush on Hansen's goal was a well-timed piece of offensive defensivity. Of note, Hansen came directly off the bench to score the goal, with none of his linemates having yet made the change. Thus, Malhotra and Torres were the only Canucks to finish without a plus in their +/- column and both were largely invisible tonight.

• Incidentally, the sports bar Harrison and I went to tonight gave us hockey pucks with the numbers of Canucks on them. If they scored a goal, free booze. I got lucky number 36, so Jannik Hansen scored me a beer. If I ever get the chance, I'll have to buy him one. I'd start a hashtag, but #LetMeBuyYouABeerHansen just doesn't roll off the tongue. It's also vaguely creepifying.

• Cody Hodgson looked NHL-ready tonight. Yes, he scored his first NHL goal (seen above) with a nifty combination of puck strength, patience, and precision, but he also showed poise in the defensive zone, aggressiveness on the forecheck, and occasional surprising bursts of speed. Combine that with a respectable 4-for-7 night on faceoffs and one might be inclined to keep him on the roster for a few more games. Hopefully that one is Mike Gillis. He's actually the one who decides that.

• Seriously, though. What a fantastic goal. Ryan Kesler's first of his two goals, however, was even prettier. He dragged it around Adrian Aucoin like he wasn't even there. I was surprised Aucoin was. Quite frankly, I was surprised to be reminded he existed. Adrian Aucoin is still playing in the NHL? Wasn't he on a defensive pairing with Colin Campbell? How old is this guy?

• Mason Raymond played well and scored the fifth goal of the game on the kind of simple play he needs to make more often: he uses his speed to force all-star Keith Yandle into a rash decision then heads straight for the net, turning and getting in the perfect position to chip in the Samuelsson pass. After breaking out of a 9-game scoring slump with 2 points on January 24th, he cut short a new scoring slump by scoring another 2 points only 3 games later. Raymond, along with Kesler and Hamhuis, finished a game-high +4. That's more pluses than Pepsi Lime (only +3 to Will? Lame).

• And to cap things off, Kesler upped his goal total for the year to 30, marking the first 30-goal season of his career. This time he did all the work himself, picking a pocket, drawing a penalty, and sniping a corner. He seemed angry rather than celebratory after both his goals tonight and this post-game quote may shed some light: "I was kinda pissed about a couple things on the ice...I don't want to get fined so I don't want to say anything." It's a tribute to Kesler's growing maturity that he turned this anger into beautiful goals rather than post-whistle scrums.

• Luongo seemed incredibly pumped to see his shutout survive a last-minute powerplay for the Coyotes. Meanwhile, Tanner Glass was likely sweating in the penalty box desperately hoping that Luongo wouldn't have him kneecapped if Phoenix scored. I'm guessing he was almost as nervous as he is about his upcoming scrabble battle. How do you spell relief? Seriously, make sure you know. I before E. Harrison loves to challenge.

• I like Chris Tanev. Let's keep him.

• It may have just been the lackluster quality of the televisions at the sports bar, but the coyote at center ice seemed quite jaundiced. He should see a veterinarian about that.

• The Green Men revealed in our interview with the duo back in December that they would be taking their act on the road. Sure enough, they showed up right next to the penalty box in Phoenix; unfortunately, there were only 3 penalties and only one of them against the Coyotes. It didn't give them much of an opportunity to put on a show.

• And finally, the fans who showed up in Canucks jerseys with the sign saying "We're actually Coyotes fans. We just dressed this way to fit in" are my new favorite people.

Causes For Concern, For the Canucks Fan That Knows No Other Way

Don't Panic, Canucks Fans. There Are Still Plenty of Reasons to Panic.

Welcome to the stretch drive, the unpredictable and unstable back half of the NHL regular season. With All-Star weekend now in the rearview, the next break in the schedule is the part where it ends, and the looming conclusion to the campaign is enough to send teams and their fans into a tizzy. A win streak or an untimely losing skid can alter one's position faster than drawing a character card in Candyland. With so much on the line, the questions can come fast and furious. Are we good enough? Are we tough enough? Do we have enough depth? It's a nervous time.

Canucks fans should be used to this by now: we go through it every year. But, this year is different. This year, the Canucks appear to be in good standing, and there are seemingly few reasons to panic. Longtime fans could be forgiven for not quite knowing what to do with themselves. PITB is here for you. In the past, we've tried to inject perspective into the fanbase by Babcocking the Canucks, but this time, we need not dream up doomsday scenarios willy-nilly. These are real concerns. Here, for your masochistic pleasure, are a myriad of reasons to caress that familiar panic button--enough worries to make this whole situation feel delightfully familiar. Pure, abject terror after the jump.

Daniel Sedin, Henrik Sedin, and Ryan Kesler at the Skills Competition

Courtesy of the invaluable and highly beloved CanucksHD, the dedicated Youtuber who is to blogging what the flux capacitor is to time travel, here are the Canucks-related highlights from the NHL Skills Competition. They reinforce three things we might have already known:

1. Ryan Kesler's pretty fast. But you already knew that. He can make five million dollars and a baby in the same day.
2. Daniel Sedin is mighty accurate. I know you knew that too, but did you know he was the most accurate guy in hockey? Eklund is, of course, a close second.
3. Henrik Sedin enjoys all types of passing, but his first love is the saucer pass. We've long suspected it might be an addiction. Once, at thanksgiving dinner, Daniel asked him to pass the mashed potatoes and Henrik launched a spoonful over the gravy boat, right onto his plate.

Anyway. I like these guys, I think they're good, let's keep them.

Henrik Sedin Scored the Goal of the Year and Nobody Noticed

Do you remember this goal? Have you seen it before? It's amazing. Textbook Wizardous Sedinerie. It might be the best goal of this NHL season, it happened only one week ago, and yet nobody's talking about it.

Let me take you through what you're seeing: That's Henrik Sedin there, outskating two Shark players to turn an innocuous one-on-one into a sudden two-on-one. That's Daniel Sedin, taking the puck parallel to the blue line, perfectly timing his meandering entry into the zone with Henrik's sudden burst of speed, then making a tape-to-tape saucer pass to spring his brother in alone. And finally, that's Henrik Sedin again, drawing Antti Niemi well past his goalmouth, then wizardously dragging the puck to the backhand and sliding it into an empty net.

Henrik's move is an an incredible piece of stickhandling and poise that, up until now, was native only to the shootout. Peter Forsberg is famous for it. Henrik Zetterberg did it once, too. But, they did it in the shootout, with time, forethought, and healthy dose of space. Henrik Sedin pulled it off in-game, at top speed, surrounded by defenders.

And nobody's talking about it.

I Watched This Game: Canucks vs Stars, January 24, 2011

Canucks 7 - 1 Stars

Friends, Romans, countrymen, I ask you, humbly, what is the cure for an offensive slump? Don't answer; this is a rhetorical question. The solution, as everybody knows, is an opponent with porous goaltending and crap defense. It's a fairly simple remedy, but the real trick is finding a major league team willing to provide it. Short of scheduling a shinny with the Washington Generals or the South Park Peewee Team, you can only hope that some NHL club is going to fly into town and generously lay an egg. Lucky for Canucks fans, that's about what happened in tonight's game which, by the way, I watched:

• What a welcome return to form for the home team. The Canucks played with the energy and pace they'd hinted at during the Calgary game and then some. We also saw a recommitment to limiting shots against (only 26 for a high-scoring Dallas team), and a renewed offensive potency (7 goals, y'all). They played much better than they have in quite awhile, more in keeping with the level of which we know they're capable. Still, before we get ahead of ourselves, it wasn't only a return to form that caused tonight's result; Dallas also played sloppier than a loose meat sandwich. What we saw was the Canucks' get better and the Stars come apart at the same time, and this beautiful coincidence resulted in a nasty shellacking.

• A number of slumps were bumped tonight, but none more important than the goals scored by both of Ryan Kesler's wingers. Mikael Samuelsson's was an especially nice wrist shot. Word is he broke his goal-scoring slump by imagining a logo in the top corner of the net, then hitting it dead center. Perhaps more impressive than the goal, however, were his game-high five shots, equal to how the number of shots he attempted. None were blocked, and none missed.

• I'm not sure if Mason Raymond's goal will stay his. The scorekeepers seemed so eager to declare another slump busted that they seemed to give it to him just because he was near it. Looks like Edler blasted it clean through to me; Raymond might be more deserving of a takeaway for stealing credit. But I won't quibble over whether or not it's his; I'm not Maury Povich. Let's just hope it's the first of many.

• Speaking of blasting pucks, let's take a moment to celebrate the long-awaited emergence of Alex Edler's deadly slapper. He had two assists tonight, both on redirected slapshots (the aforementioned, from Raymond, and one from Kesler to take a 2-1 lead). Christian Ehrhoff also had a goal on one that got clean through. Ehrhoff's been the member of this pairing most willing to shoot this season, which has always seemed silly to me. Edler's got the hardest shot on the team. Now, they're both shooting regularly, and it's made them a lethal tandem on the blue line, with 12 points in the last six games. Letting them fire away seems like a wise move, especially after they broke the power play's two-game mini slump by these very means.

• Aaron Volpatti had a strong game tonight, and it's possible that you hardly noticed. First there was a solid hit on Tom Wandell behind the Stars' net. Then, Krys Barch tried to respond by drawing Volpatti into a fight, but Volpatti was smart enough to realize it wasn't the right time. Instead, he responded by shouting, "F*** you, Barch!" loud enough for the cameras to clearly pick it up.

• Later, Volpatti assisted on the Henrik Sedin 5-1 backbreaker halfway into the 2nd, skating well and centering a puck that would go in off Steve Ott's boot after a touch from Henrik. If the assist wasn't enough, Volpatti then "accidentally" tripped over Ott as he circled the net to celebrate the goal. It was a smart, sneaky play, and don't be surprised that Volpatti's a sneak; everybody knows Ivy Leaguers are shifty. I mean, they steal entire social networks from one another.

• If you're wondering why Henrik Sedin already has a mind-boggling 50 assists on the season, look no further than his puck movement on the power play. Watch him on either power play goal. On Kesler's goal, he draws three defenders to him with a simply head fake before making a brilliant saucer pass to Edler for a one-timer. On Ehrhoff's goal, it's much a simpler feed, but this time Henrik uses a head fake to back his defender off. Opponents are so terrified he's going to pass, you'd think they were auditioning for American Idol.

• The perennially out for blood Daniel Sedin is now 4 points back of the NHL scoring lead. Earlier today, Elliotte Friedman suggested he might get picked last in the NHL All-Star draft. If that happens, I suspect he'll coolly walk to the podium and shoot his captain in the chest, like Boomer on Battlestar Galactica.

• Andrew Raycroft's mask is as sparkly as a preteen girl's binder. Or a preteen girl's idea of a vampire.

• How to make a player lose his mind: eye gouge him in a scrum. Just like the Rypien incident, you can clearly see Burish raging, "he was eye gouging me," after the referees finally pull Burrows and him apart. Not to go all "Ron Maclean" on you guys, but, considering Burr's reputation, he's probably guilty here. That's a finger to the peeper and a stick to the peepee in the last two weeks. He needs to be careful he doesn't get a reputation as a dirty(er) player.

• If he's not careful, he'll undo all the goodwill the Zen Canucks have built up towards officials this season. Seriously, the Canucks successfully argued for a call to be overturned tonight. When the last time that's ever happened? I think we're more used to the "On second thought, the Canucks lose" type of calls. Especially recently.

• Dan Hamhuis dropped his gloves tonight. Dan. Hamhuis. What could Mike Ribiero have possibly said or done to make Hammy drop the mitts? Ribieiro: Frankly, I don't think Haiti deserves our relief. And the children can read to themselves. Hamhuis: I'll kill you!

• Congratulations to Chris Tanev, who picked up his first career point, an assist on Hamhuis's goal, the seventh and final goal of the evening. Tanev showed impressive poise tonight, finishing a plus-one with two blocked shots in just over sixteen minutes of icetime. Granted, everyone (in blue) looked good tonight, but Tanev is beginning to look like he might belong in the NHL, which is more than I can say for tonight's opponent.

• All credit to Tanner Glass, who spent some time tonight as the fourth-line center, and some time as the third-line winger. When he earned third line icetime last season, it was more an indictment of the Canucks' lack of forward depth. This season, however, he's been so defensively responsible and so smart with the puck that he's earned every extra minute he's been given, and I'm happy to eat crow when it comes to his stints in the top nine. I'm still not sold on his scoring ability, but I think, when your third line hasn't scored in ten games or more, Tanner Glass certainly can't make you offensively less potent.

• Kevin Bieksa's eye doesn't look too bad... if he's planning a trip to McDonaldland. His face is so purple he could pass for The Grimace. Speaking of passing, Bieksa did take advantage of the distinguishable mark for some brilliant duplicity. Rather than serve a second period penalty, he traded places with a wax #statueofbieksa (hashtag credit: @RE4713), and nobody noticed because, like the real Bieksa, the replica had a black eye.

• The Canucks dominated the faceoff circle tonight, winning 40 of 65 draws. All four centres finished over 50%, with even Glass winning 4-of-7. He's won 17 of 31 on the season now, which is pretty impressive, considering he was 3-for-18 last season. He's developing this skill really quickly.

• This is the second consecutive game versus the Canucks where the Stars have lost their composure, and you have to consider their sources of leadership. First, Marc Crawford's teams have never been known for being particularly mentally tough (and Crow's never been good at knowing when to pull his goalie, either). Second, Brendan Morrow's captaincy might be a good cautionary tale for those who think Kesler should have gotten the "C" in Vancouver. Like Kesler, Morrow plays an intense, gritty game that's a nice example when he's focused, but he has a tendency to get overemotional and lose focus. When he does, the team follows him. He's simply not a calming force.

• Henrik Sedin, on the other hand, knows how to channel his emotions. He digs so deep, you might say he chunnels his emotions. He was solely to blame on Dallas's only goal, but rather than beat himself up about it, he simply upped his resolve. He looked downright determined to atone for the remainder of the period. Then he did. Not since the award-winning film based on the novel Atonement have I seen such atonement.