Friday, November 19, 2010

Raffi Torres is Goofy-Looking and I Love Him

Raffi Torres is quickly worming his way into my heart as one of my favorite Canucks this season. His heart-worming ability is partly due to absolutely heart-warming pictures like this one of Torres with his daughter (seriously, that's adorable), but mainly because he is an extremely goofy-looking guy. I find it incredibly difficult to resist liking goofy-looking guys. It's one of the reasons Kyle Wellwood and Jan Bulis are PitB favorites.

Raffi Torres continues that tradition in a big way. Witness the headshots of the Canucks' third line as recently posted on the Kurtenblog:


As Sesame Street taught us, one of these things is not like the others. Torres looks like he just saw a ghost and it's in the process of eating all his Apple Jacks. He's surprised and morose all at the same time. But it's not really his fault: his eyes perpetually look like they're trying to escape from his head, as if he had a literal brainfart1 and they can't stand the smell. This gives Torres a certain wide-eyed craziness at all times (though this wide-eyedness doesn't seem to help his vision on the ice).

Couple that overall goofiness with a penchant for goal-scoring and the occasional massive hit that seems to break the laws of physics and he's well on his way to filling the oddball-shaped hole in my heart that has been empty since Kyle Wellwood went to Russia. Don't worry, Kyle, you can settle down in one of my lungs: like Jello, there's always room for Wellwood.

After the jump, a brief celebration of Raffi's goofiness, which I love. Don't ever change, Raffi, don't ever change.


1. Does it bother anyone else that "brainfart" actually has its own wikipedia entry?

12 comments:

  1. Does not bother me at all; incredible, in fact. Every day I sit here waiting for more Welly comments...definitely as Torres-icly enigmatic, yet endearing as Pratt's, umm, happiness...

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  2. This is my favourite post ever.

    All hail our new favourite hockey person!

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  3. Another reason I love that picture of him with his daughter is that the expression on his daughter's face is a carbon copy of his usual facial expression when he's on the ice. It's a genetic trait.

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  4. Speaking of...I notice our Nucks seem to have instituted an affirmative action program similar to the Thrasers except for red-heads. Come to think of it seems like a lot of teams that go deep in the playoffs are overly gingery, or maybe just gingery enough. What about it Harrison: are they marketing to the day walkers or is it a moneyball move? Maybe another "racial" controversy will get "the blogosphere" into the pages of the NYT again! But be sure to contact Canucks for a comment...that's called journalism.

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  5. At one point I was going to "write" an article that was just a straight copy-paste job of Harrison's Atlanta piece, with all references to Atlanta Thrasher changed to Vancouver Canucks and all references to black players changed to redhead players. Don't know why I never did...

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  6. I personally think he's part lizard, but I have come to love him, too. Twice now I'm seen him skate directly into the boards and bounce gently off like a broken roomba. It's hard to hate.

    On the Wellwood front, he - played a game with a mysterious green dot on his face? http://bit.ly/d5VfjB

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  7. Harrison, if that was directed at me, then I'm your umm...guy in agreement [brass tacks, love your guys' work...want to be like you when I grow up] Heading to the A&W on my bike, want some onion rings?

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  8. Unfortunately, marpolejoel, it was directed at Skeeter. But nice try bogarting the compliment. I do that all the time.

    Checkout clerk: This is a beautiful arrangement.
    Me, in line at the flower shop: Why thank you. I dress myself.
    Clerk: I meant the flowers.
    Me: Oh. I just thought, well, you're a checkout clerk... I thought you were checking me out.
    Clerk: I wasn't.
    Me: My mistake. I am so sorry. I bet this happens to you all the time.
    Clerk: It never happens. Never.

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  9. Classic! That's what I figured...blogging is teh hard...vodka & Fresca is easy...sometimes tough to keep them separate...[Nice festive helmet on the Bulis, by the way]

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  10. Festive helmet? How did that get there!? Oh Jan, you're such an unpredictable mascot.

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  11. Hahahaha this is a great article. Laughing way too much. Nicely done. I do miss Wellwood too... although Alberts reminds me of Welly a little bit. Forget Fin, we should make Wellwood our mascot, dress him up like Johnny Canuck. They can even count his salary against the cap.

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  12. It appears that his daughter got those eyes from him as well!

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