Monday, November 01, 2010

Staying Positive


Every hockey team has its ups and downs. Passionate fans often have difficulty staying positive in the face of extreme suckage on the ice, but your emotional health depends on your ability to always see the bright side. If something you have no control over, like the performance of your hockey team, has the ability to get you depressed, then you're going to have all sorts of issues. Fortunately, we at Pass it to Bulis are here to help you through the tough times with some reasons to stay positive, no matter who you root for.

New Jersey: Doing their part to prevent the Boston Bruins from becoming too powerful by actively blocking them from getting the number 1 pick.

Buffalo: Despite Miller's slow start, have not had a single member of their media suggest there's a goaltending controversy. Indeed, Miller's looking to dispel Thomas's "Vezina curse" of immediately being displaced by the backup.

Edmonton: This time, their GM refuses to cave when their highest-paid D-man demands a trade.

Florida: Canucks trade rumors have quieted down, so odds are they're not about to be screwed again anytime soon.

Anaheim: Scott Niedermayer can only realistically retire once.

Ottawa: No longer have to deal with a star goaltender showing up late to practice, getting into fights, or playing for the team.

Phoenix: At 24th in the league, are finally living up to the expectations set by fans and media.

NY Islanders: With Streit and Okposo, have new up-and-coming stars to suffer long term injury, taking pressure off of Rick DiPietro.

Minnesota: Pierre-Marc Bouchard's impending return may finally fill the gap Gaborik left as the offensive spark who plays beautifully for 30 games every season.

Carolina: I just traded Cam Ward from my fantasy team, so he's likely to start recording a shutout every other game.

Vancouver: According to several sources, October is officially over.

Toronto: Thanks to New Jersey, it's unlikely that they traded away the 1st overall pick.

NY Rangers: Sean Avery's self-esteem apparently uninjured after vicious attack by James Wisniewski.

San Jose: Likely to succeed so long as coach continually reminds the team that the playoffs are months away.

Atlanta: Will likely pick up Jarome Iginla and PK Subban at the deadline.

Calgary: Daryl Sutter can't possibly last much longer.

Columbus: Steve Mason has returned to the form that made him the subject of so much discussion last season.

Boston: As long as Tim Thomas continues to allow less than a goal per game, are likely to make the playoffs this season.

Pittsburgh: Marc-Andre Fleury can't keep playing like this forever. Eventually Bylsma will just kill him.

Colorado: Odds of losing to San Jose in the playoffs are steadily decreasing.

Philadelphia: Mike Richards' intangibles are more valuable to the team right now than that goal he scored.

Nashville: Failing power-play more in character for a team that believes in hard-fought wins and harder-fought losses.

Detroit: Teams employing this many senior citizens may be eligible for a tax break.

Washington: It's the regular season, when their game really works.

St. Louis: Jaroslav Halak is a huge upgrade over their last backstop, Chris Mason's beard.

Chicago: "Stanley Cup hangover" made the long list of hangovers Patrick Kane currently suffers from.

Montreal: If the team continues this way, fans can look forward to being disappointed in playoffs, rather than just amazed they qualified.

Tampa Bay: If they continue to score crazily while allowing 3.00 goals per game, they may be this season's Washington Capitals.

Los Angeles: Will be real Cup contenders so long as Jarret Stoll remains among the league's top scorers.

1 comment:

  1. Awesome.

    "Atlanta: Will likely pick up Jarome Iginla and PK Subban at the deadline."

    Hahaha

    ReplyDelete

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